forgiveness stick. If you’re reading this article, chances are it’s because you’ve already tried a few times to forgive your ex for hurting you. But you can’t seem to make the
Maybe your ex cheated on you or dumped you in a cruel way – and forgiving them feels like an impossible task.
But it’s important to let go – for the sake of your own healing and happiness.
You need to find a way to forgive so you have closure. And so you don’t project limiting beliefs about love onto your next partner.
Unfortunately, when you experience a bad love relationship (or a series of bad relationships) you can develop hopelessness. You can start to feel as if you’re like one of those mice who keep getting an electric shock every time they go for cheese.
After a while you think, “Hmmm, maybe I shouldn’t go for that cheese any more.”
It’s in our human biological nature, says my favorite philosopher buddy Aristotle.
Our true nature, according to Aristotle, is to love and be loved!
Although, admittedly after a bad break up, the concept of love can feel more like 2,456,841st nature.
I confess in my best selling e-book Prince Harming Syndrome, that after I discovered my Prince Harming cheating, I had trouble forgiving my ex at first.
Thankfully, eventually, this breakup led me to a big breakthrough.
I realized I was not meant to learn:
I was meant to learn:
Thanks to my ex, I gained a range of helpful insights…
Thanks to my ex, I became clearer about about what I was looking for – and therefore I was better equipped to find a safe and loving partner!
These days, I now even look back on my ex with gratitude.
So much so, I’ve re-nicknamed him my “Teacher.” I even replaced his name in my cell phone with this word.
If you’ve suffered heartache due to a Prince Harming or Princess Harming, you must compassionately understand that their “harming” is a sign of their inability to love rightly – because they’re operating from a lower consciousness – as well as places of limitation.
As a result Prince Harmings – and Princess Harmings – are living a life with limited and lower level experiences – which they bring to all they do – and all who they meet.
When you view your ex with this wider lens of compassionate understanding, you can better let go of the pain you’re feeling – and shine the light of your attention on the good parts of your life – the parts you want to grow and thrive.
If you are to move forward into a healthy love relationship, you must release past negative emotions. You must let go of all those lower vibrational energies created by anger, resentment and fears. You must do this for many reasons.
Here’s a quick symbolic story which explains why you need to seek closure with your ex.
There once was a woman who was wandering in the desert and was bitten by a poisonous snake.
All she could think about was how angry she was at this poisonous snake for biting her and angry at herself for wandering in the desert.
And so she could not relax, forgive the snake, forgive herself.
As a result, she could not calmly see that she could solve this poison problem and save her life with a simple solution.
She could simply suck out the poison from her arm, as she’d learned years ago.
But she’d forgotten about this cure, because she was angry.
So also she passed away.
The lesson learned from this story?
It’s funny. We all rationalize our anger as a necessary force to impel us to better results.
But more often than not, anger blocks us from seeing clearly. It stops us from viewing the world around us with full mental clarity.
Anger is not only unhealthy for your mental state.
Researchers at the University of Ohio have reported that angry people take even longer to recover from injury.
Plus, many quantum physicists believe your angry vibration can be felt in a larger universal energy field.
In other words, just as there is alluring sexual attraction (which people can feel but not see), there’s also angry energy repulsion (which people can feel but not see).
If you think angry thoughts, many quantum physicists believe your angry vibration will literally emit an angry vibration that can be intuitively felt by others.
A well-known quantum physics expert, Lynne McTaggert, wrote about a study where she witnessed a happy person sending out loving energetic thoughts to an angry person, which then successfully calmed this angry person’s temper.
For these many reasons—and more—The Law of Attraction begins with The Law of Subtraction!
If you want to find healthful love, you must first let go of the pain of your past.
I’m here to help. Below are 10 forgiveness tools for closure which have helped me to move on after break ups.
But I can control what goes on inside. I forgive my ex, and am determined to gain insights on how to wisely avoid love situations like this one in my future.” Become determined to make this the breakup that led to your breakthrough. Or as I like to say: “Sometimes you have to reach ‘f*** this’ to get to ‘post-f*** this,’” the highly energized time when you are determined to break patterns of pain.
Trust me. You will feel better immediately.
Don’t send it. Keep it nearby to read every time you find yourself slipping back into your angry thoughts.
Recognize that hurt people hurt people and that your ex is operating from a place of limited thinking due to their past hurt.
Be altruistic. Forgive back to your ex.
You don’t want to give your ex that power.
Consistently studies report meditation literally changes key brain areas associated with stress. Meditation helps people to reduce stress, enjoy more restful sleep and feel more confident.
Too busy to meditate? Hate meditating? Bored with meditating?
When you maintain positive energy you attract more positive people and results.
Plus, being peaceful makes you far sexier. You become more of a love magnet instead of a negativity magnet.
How to master your thoughts? See Step 8 – and try meditating.
Put your energies into doing what you love – with who you love.
Your mission: Be so busy loving your life, that you have no time for anger, regret, resentment or fear!
One of the best gifts you can give your broken heart is the gift of meditation.
My book Instant Calm offers a range of fun and simple 2 minute meditations. Instant Calm is great for beginners to meditation – as well as advanced meditators – because there’s something for everyone! Learn more here!