How To Stop Wanting Revenge So You Can Move On In Peace (5 Steps)

How To Stop Wanting Revenge And Move On In Peace (5 Steps)

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If someone has done you wrong, you might be tempted to want revenge! But truly it’s best to move on. If you find it a struggle to let go of anger and resentment, here are 5 healing reminders and an inspiring Buddhist story!

A wise woman and her young disciple were walking down the street. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an angry man in a carriage drove haphazardly by the two, insensitively pushing the woman out of his way. She landed in a ditch filled with muddy water.

The woman yelled after the man in the carriage, “May you have everything you want!”

The disciple, surprised by the wise woman’s response, said: “I’m confused. Why did you say that to a man with such horrible behavior?”

The woman replied, “Because a happy man wouldn’t have thoughtlessly pushed a woman into a ditch.”

Do you agree with this woman’s response?

In my book Think Happy I offer many empowering strategies for embracing forgiveness and liberating yourself from anger and bitterness.

Here are 5 steps to free yourself from feelings of revenge…so you can feel peace.

1. Say a Prayer

Whenever angry feelings about a person who’s harmed you enter your mind, tell yourself: “We are all good, loving souls who occasionally get lost.”

Pray for this troubled person to find their way back to a happier place—in the same way the woman in this story prayed for her offender.

2. Focus on Gratitude

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Resist seeking happiness from the outside in. Instead, focus on gratitude exercises to bring happiness from the inside out.

If you allow your self-image to be at the mercy of unpredictable events and unreliable people, your happiness will be forever on a chaotic roller coaster ride!

Happiness must always be an inside joy!

Whenever you are tempted to focus on all the ways the world has done you wrong, instead count your blessings by making a list of the five aspects of your life that you appreciate.

It is good practice to purposefully end your day this way to keep focused.

I write about this more in an article here.

3. Look for the Lesson To Be Learned

Many Buddhists consider huge difficulties to be a sign you’re an old soul—the bigger your misfortunes, the closer you are to enlightenment. Whether you believe this or not, it’s certainly cheery to reframe all your life’s bad events as tests of your character.

If you feel particularly tested right now, ask yourself what the heck you’re being tested for! Patience? Compassion? Resilience? Forgiveness? Open-mindedness?

What strengths must you develop further?

Now consciously go out there and develop them!

Need further support? I write about this more in an article here!

4. Maintain Perspective

If you’re going through a challenging time, remind yourself that this specific event is merely a part of your life—not your “whole” life.

Consciously keep this “slice of life” perspective, and don’t let the event overwhelm you.

As the song goes, “The best is yet to come!”

I write about this more in an article here!

5. Recognize Being Awesome is the Best Revenge

Still contemplating revenge? The best kind of revenge is living a successful, happy life.

If you train yourself to consistently be more loving in thoughts and actions, your energy will attract more positive people and positive results.

As Albert Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem by staying in the same energy in which it was created.”

To stay focused on highly positive thoughts, repeat the single word, “Forward!”

I write about this more in an article here.

Think happier. Think calmer.

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Karen Salmansohn (Founder)

Hi I’m Karen Salmansohn, founder of NotSalmon. My mission is to offer you easy-to-understand insights and tools to empower you to bloom into your happiest, highest potential self. I use playful analogies, feisty humor, and stylish graphics to distill big ideas – going as far back as ancient wisdom from Aristotle, Buddhism and Darwin to the latest research studies from Cognitive Therapy, Neuro Linquistic Programming, Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Quantum Physics, Nutritional Studies – and then some.

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