Do you keep attracting the wrong partners? Do you feel like you are wearing a kick me sign on your heart? Here are 6 surprising reasons why you’re allowing the wrong partners into your life – and ignoring red flags! Read on…
There was a time (a long, long time ago) that I used to be colorblind to red flags – and dated what I call Prince Harmings.
Even red banners!
Eventually I developed tools to spot a red flag a-waving – even when it showed up as merely a red hankee.
How? I took time to explore the root of my “Red Flag Colorblindness,” and determined that a combo of 6 vulnerabilities were at fault.
You know how it’s not a good idea to text while you’re walking? After all, you’re not focused on what’s right smack in front of you – like that woman walking her poodle or that big steel pole.
Similarly, you can become blind to red flags when you’re experiencing a “blinding desire” for finding a relationship.
Basically, it’s hard to clearly see the person in front of you, when your eyes are obsessively focused on a wedding finish line.
It originates from the Greek mythological hero Achilles – and it’s in reference to a weakness someone has – which can become their ultimate downfall.
Unfortunately many of us have “achilles heels” when it comes to relationships.
They can show up in a variety of ways.
The lower your self worth, the lower the bar you’ll be setting for finding a partner.
As a result, slimy snaky people – who are the wrong partners for you – can limbo under your low-bar and slip themselves into your heart!
If you grew up in a home where love came with anxiety and pain, then you might feel most comfortable with love coming with anxiety and pain.
Basically, your limiting beliefs about love can wind up limiting your happiness.
If you find yourself constantly asking friends, “Is this normal?” then you might be suspect for having a “comfort zone” which double-duties as a “dis-comfort zone.”
Back when I suffered from “Red Flag Colorblindness,” I was willing to settle for the metaphorical equivalent of a “one-eyed partner”- and not hold out for a “two-eyed partner.”
I kept rationalizing a partner’s bad behavior – because I just thought the metaphorical equivalent of a “one-eyed partner” was the best that was out there.
I’d tell myself things like, “Oh well, at least this guy’s got one eye. These days many guys don’t even have one eye! ”
If you’re super cynical about love, then you can wind up attracting the wrong partners. You will accept the behavior of deeply-deeply-flawed people – because you stopped believing that non-deeply-deeply-flawed people exist.
If you’re a very positive person, then when you start to see red flags a-waving you might tell yourself very positive things like…
It’s thereby tough for you to process that someone is capable of doing something so crappy to you.
There’s a famous story that when Columbus first arrived to the new world, the natives could not see his ships, because the natives had never seen a boat before.
It took the natives a long time to process what they were seeing, because the concept of a “boat” was so foreign and surreal to them.
Similarly, there’s a chance you cannot see specific red flags because they’re completely outside of your “mental framework.”
Often people with good hearts just don’t see a bad heart coming.