A Major Red Flag In Love You Should Never Ignore

A Major Red Flag In Love You Should Never Ignore

An Major Red Flag In Love You Should Never Ignore
Most people miss this important red flag in love – because it originally shows up as something you think you want. But you should never ignore this red flag – because it is a sign of big trouble ahead! Read on..

I believe if you’re looking for love, it’s very appealing when you see at least one “very” in your partner.

For example…

It helps if your honey is very smart, or very hardworking, or very nice, or very funny, or very supportive, or very generous, etc.

Basically, it’s appealing when you see at least one magical, heart-fluttering quality about a man or woman.

It’s “love inspiring” when you see a “very” quality about someone – which makes them stand out as special — admirable – cherishable.

Usually, when someone has an admirable  “very” quality, it’s a sign of strong character – which the philosopher Aristotle says is essential to find in a partner.

In fact…

The healthiest relationships are what Aristotle calls “relationships of shared virtue” – where you inspire each other to operate at your highest character – your best potentials.

However….

Although finding one very in your partner is very good,  when you spot a “two very” aspect in someone, this can be very bad. It can be a major red flag waving in your face!

Examples of Red Flags in Love Caused By A “Two Very”

don't ignore red flags in love that block happiness
If your partner/crush is “very, very” funny – as in “non-stop funny” – well, then, this might be a red flag — a sign that this person might be using all that ha-ha-ha laughter to avoid honest, open communication.

Later, when you try to connect soul to soul—heart to heart—you might be greeted by a gigantic, unmovable whoopie cushion wall.

Another Major Red Flag In Love…

working too hard is a red flag in love
If your partner/crush is “very, very” hardworking – as in “non-stop, intimacy-avoiding hardworking” –  this might also be a red flag a-waving.

You might discover they are “very, very” emotionally unavailable  because they are so “very, very” busy.

As a result they will leave you to feel “very, very” lonely and disconnected to them.

Another Major Red Flag in Love…

too much niceness red flag in love that you might not notice at first
It might be a red flag if your partner is “very, very” extravagantly generous with spending money on you.

As in “non-stop buying of expensive gifts” or nonstop purchases of any kind.

This might be a sign that they are  “very, very” eager to try to buy your love.

You might discover that they do not value what makes you (and themselves) truly priceless.

The list of “very, very” red flags is endless.

But the common red flag in all of them is the same.

If someone is a “very, very” extreme  of something – this means they are not operating from a place of true inner balance – or what Aristotle calls “the mean zone” – also known as “the moderation zone.”

According to Aristotle (my favorite philosopher) everything has a “mean zone”/”moderation zone.”

All of life’s actions, feelings and material goods.

“Lovingness” has a mean zone! It exists somewhere between coldness and co-dependent suffocation!

“Truthfulness” has a mean zone! It exists somewhere between outright lying and being painfully, cruelly direct!

“Courageousness” has a mean zone! It exists somewhere between fearfulness and rashness (with no thought to longterm consequences)!

Even “Niceness” has a mean zone! It exists somewhere between being a spineless worm and  a jerk!

Let’s take a quick moment to consider this last mean zone – of niceness.

moderation zones are good for love not a red flag
Chances are at some point you haven’t been attracted to a guy/gal because you felt that they were “too nice!”

As in a “very, very” nice!

You  might have been intuitively correct for feeling a sense of discomfort.

According to Aristotle, it is actually not “strong character” to be spineless, wormy, “very, very” nice.

A one “very” nice is the right “moderation zone” of niceness to offer up kindness, love and warmth.

Guess what else?

According to my favorite philosopher Ari, you too must watch out for being a “very, very” quality with other people – and make sure you’re living in a one “very” only zone.

Explore these qualities…

  • Loving vs “very” loving: Watch out for being “very, very” loving – and thereby suspect for co-dependent suffocation!
  • Truthful vs “very” truthful: Look out for being “very, very” truthful – and thereby suspect for being painfully, cruelly direct!
  • Courageous vs  “very” courageous:  Avoid being “very, very” courageous – and thereby suspect for acting out in rashness with no thought to longterm consequences!
  • Niceness vs “very” niceness: Make sure your kindness is in that moderation inner balance zone – and that you’re not being a very, very spineless worm version of nice.

Your Red Flag Assignment:

the right amount of loving not red flag
If you’re in a relationship right now (or crushing on someone), take time to brainstorm which “very” special things your partner/crush has that makes you all a-flutter.

Compliment your partner/crush about these qualities  – letting them know you appreciate these aspects.

Next, brainstorm if they have any red flag “very, very” danger zones. If so, you might want to chat with them about these aspects.

Next, let’s talk about YOU and YOUR Red Flags.

examine red flags in yourself and cure them
Brainstorm which one “very” special things you have to offer a partner — and let yourself feel proud and happy about these signature strengths.

Next – brainstorm if you have any “very, very” aspects which you might need to tone down and moderate – so you can rise up to your highest self.

Make a decisive choice to always try to bring your best self into your relationship – and throughout your life!

Want more support to spot red flags and find happier love?

Check out my Oprah recommended book Prince Harming Syndrome – which also applies to Princess Harmings. For a limited time I’m giving it away for free! Learn more here!

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