Most people miss this important red flag in love – because it originally shows up as something you think you want. But you should never ignore this red flag – because it’s a BIG break up warning sign! Read on..
Note: The following is an excerpt from my popular video course: Broken Heart Recovery.
I believe if you’re looking for love, it’s very appealing when you see at least one “very” in your partner.
For example, it’s always a good thing when your honey is very smart, or very hardworking, or very nice, or very funny, or very supportive, or very generous, etc.
Basically, it’s appealing when you see at least one magical, heart-fluttering quality about a man or woman.
In fact, it’s even highly “love inspiring” when you see a “very” quality about someone – which makes them stand out as special — admirable – cherishable.
Usually, when someone has an admirable “very” quality, it’s a sign of strong character – which the brilliant philosopher Aristotle says is essential to find in a partner.
The healthiest relationships are what Aristotle calls “relationships of shared virtue” – where you inspire each other to operate at your highest character – your best potential.
Although finding one very in your partner is very good, when you spot a “two very” aspect in someone, this can be very bad.
It can be a major red flag waving in your face!
If your partner/crush is “very, very” funny – as in “non-stop funny” – well, then, this might be a red flag — a sign that this person might be using all that ha-ha-ha laughter to avoid honest, open communication.
Later, when you try to connect soul to soul—heart to heart—you might be greeted by a gigantic, unmovable whoopie cushion wall.
If your partner/crush is “very, very” hardworking – as in “non-stop, intimacy-avoiding hardworking” – this might also be a red flag a-waving.
You might discover they are “very, very” emotionally unavailable because they are so “very, very” busy.
As a result they will leave you to feel “very, very” lonely and disconnected to them.
It might be a red flag if your partner is “very, very” extravagantly generous with spending money on you.
As in “non-stop buying of expensive gifts” or nonstop purchases of any kind.
This might be a sign that they are “very, very” eager to try to buy your love.
You might discover that they do not value what makes you (and themselves) truly priceless.
But the common red flag in all of them is the same.
If someone is a “very, very” extreme of something – this means they are not operating from a place of true inner balance – or what Aristotle calls “the mean zone” – also known as “the moderation zone.”
Chances are at some point you haven’t been attracted to a guy/gal because you felt that they were “too nice!”
As in a “very, very” nice!
You might have been intuitively correct for feeling a sense of discomfort.
According to Aristotle, it is actually not “strong character” to be spineless, wormy, “very, very” nice.
A one “very” nice is the right “moderation zone” of niceness to offer up kindness, love and warmth.
According to Aristotle, it’s important each of use takes a look in the mirror – and makes sure we are not being a “very, very” quality with other people.
So let’s take a quick moment to asses if you’re living in a one “very” only zone.
If you’re in a relationship right now (or crushing on someone), take time to brainstorm which “very” special things your partner/crush has that makes you all a-flutter.
Compliment your partner/crush about these qualities – letting them know you appreciate these aspects.
Next, brainstorm if they have any red flag “very, very” danger zones. If so, you might want to chat with them about these aspects.
Brainstorm which one “very” special things you have to offer a partner — and let yourself feel proud and happy about these signature strengths.
Next – brainstorm if you have any “very, very” aspects which you might need to tone down and moderate – so you can rise up to your highest self.
Make a decisive choice to always try to bring your best self into your relationship – and throughout your life!
The above was an excerpt from my groundbreaking video course Broken Heart Recovery.
If you’re struggling to heal from the pain of heartbreak – and eager to stop a pattern of unhappy relationships, learn more here now!