7 Reasons You Keep Dating Jerks
1. Did you have a parent with a bad temper?
If so, you’re experiencing what Freud called Repetition Compulsion. Your past is sneaking into your present. You accept being shrieked at as being “normal” when it’s not.
Some part of you from childhood feels “you’re bad” and deserves anger as a ritualistic behavior.
Well, I’m here to tell you, the time has come to stop these anger rituals!
Nothing in your past is in your present making you do anything you don’t choose to do.
- You are not your past history!
- You are not your past failures!
- You are not how others have at one time treated you!
- You are only who you are and what you do now in this moment.
2. Are you hooked into pain because of low self-esteem?
Perhaps you feel like you don’t deserve healthy love because of your weight, career, etc. If so… either improve your weight, career, etc. — or change your view of these things.
- Start loving yourself — flaws and all.
- Focus on what makes you hot stuff!
Starter Kit: You’re funny, kind, generous, and a great kisser!
A partner should be so lucky as to be with you! The more you believe that you deserve healthy love, the more you will conquer and attract.
3. Have you stopped being a hopeless romantic – and now think romance is hopeless?
Have you lowered your “dating bar” so low that now only the slimiest reptilian snake-y partners are wiggling through?
If so, raise that bar — by surrounding yourself with friends and family who are in healthy, loving relationships, so you’re reminded that “good love” is out there — and know what it looks and sounds like!
4. Are your values off-kilter?
Do you care more about money and good looks than you do about your self-esteem and happiness?
You must remind yourself: The #1 reason to merge your life with another persona is that they makes you feel happier – not more anxious and depressed.
You must also remind yourself of your top character values for a partner.
- Make a list — and on it should be: even-tempered, kind-hearted, gentle, a good listener, a compromiser, etc.
- Also write how you’d feel being with this type of man (relaxed, safe, content, happy, etc.).
- Keep these lists in your wallet.
5. Are you an “enterpainer”?
Are you used to entertaining everyone with your tales of drama and conflict?
Do you get attention and feel important every time you complain about how awful this partner is?
Stop settling for attention for the negative stuff in your life.
Here’s an article on how to stop sabotaging your happiness – which you can read when you’re done this article.
Start shining a happy spotlight all the good stuff in your life instead!
6. Do you keep telling yourself it’s not three strikes and they’re out- but it’s 3,452,103 strikes?
Are you more afraid of the pain of temporary solitude than the pain of abuse?
If so, accept that when you break up, there will be a temporary period of aloneness.
Decide now to use your alone time to do things you’ve been putting off.
Take a class. Join a club. You’ll get through the solo time – and even better yet – be on your way to a happier duo time soon enough.
7. Are you afraid to break up?
Don’t let the prospect of saying goodbye to a Prince or Princess Harming make you feel like a failure.
- Re-frame this as a success story.
- This ending represents your brand new beginning!
- Every time you miss your Prince or Princess Harming, repeat the word “Forward!”
- Remind yourself you’re moving forward, away from this self-hurting tendency – and towards a better, brighter future.