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How My Life Changed After the Murder of My Best Friend

NOTE: This is a guest blog by Merily Pompa

Seven years ago, my life forever changed with a phone call. My best friend, and first cousin Lisa was murdered by her husband.

Afterwards, he also turned the gun on himself.

They had twins that were 7 years old: Olivia and Dylan.

I had just had my third baby six weeks earlier.

My expectations for my young family’s life were never going to be realized the way I anticipated.

This experience put me in my ultimate place of discomfort. I had always been described as “not playing well with others.” I had an admitted tendency to want to control (aka overly control) my environment. I did not feel I was equipped. At the same time I also knew that providence had chosen this new role of mine as caretaker for Olivia and Dylan. I have since never looked back.

There were many challenges to come.

Firstly, how best to integrate the twins into our existing family and life.

Especially since the twins were certainly not looking for having their parents shoes filled by anyone.

Next, how I might fill the role of “mom” for 5 children.

I’d never felt so incredibly challenged in my life.

Thankfully, I soon realized that all of this was serving many positive purposes.

Accepting this high level of responsibility (which I would have run from any other day of my life), I accomplished and achieved a sense of

unimaginable purpose for the incredible role I had been chosen for.

I began understanding that sometimes we are given challenges which are not meant to leave us where we naturally bend.

Instead they are meant to shape us into the person we are meant to be – stretching us beyond what we are comfortable with.

Although we may find the situation requires more than we ever thought we could take on, it also leaves us better than we would ever have been otherwise.

The twins are now 15 years old. At this point I realize my commitment to them has been my greatest accomplishment – as well as my greatest sense of soul satisfaction.

I also realize that life is not always about how comfortable we are.

It’s about how well we can bounce as we experience challenges along the way.

When we are faced with adversity, we meet who we really are at our core.

When you’re presented with a trial of some kind, it’s a blessed opportunity to choose the “who” you want to become.

Plus it’s a chance to leave behind the “who” that you have been.

Merily Pompa (www.Merily-Pompa.blogspot.com )


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Karen Salmansohn (Founder)

Hi I’m Karen Salmansohn, founder of NotSalmon. My mission is to offer you easy-to-understand insights and tools to empower you to bloom into your happiest, highest potential self. I use playful analogies, feisty humor, and stylish graphics to distill big ideas – going as far back as ancient wisdom from Aristotle, Buddhism and Darwin to the latest research studies from Cognitive Therapy, Neuro Linquistic Programming, Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Quantum Physics, Nutritional Studies – and then some.

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