Healthy Relationships vs Unhealthy Relationships: 10 Signs

healthy relationships vs unhealthy relationshipsAll relationships have various challenges. But there are specific warning signs and red flags to look out for which show if a relationship is in deep trouble. Below are tools to help you more easily tell the difference between healthy relationships and unhealthy relationships.

In my book Prince Harming Syndrome, I humorously describe a Prince Harming as a guy who turns out to be either trouble or trouble-d – although he never starts out this way.

Basically, a Prince Harming lures you in with superficial lures – like sexiness, funniness, wealth, charisma, compliments, love letters – and then – WHACK!  Suddenly you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship!

In the way there’s “bait and switch” in advertising, Prince Harmings pull a “date and switch.”

I recognize the appeal of Prince Harming because I’ve been there, dated him. There’s always something terrific you can find about a Prince Harming.

Every jerk has his silver lining.

(Note: YES – all of what I’m saying applies equally to Princess Harming unhealthy relationships, as well. But for the simplicity of this short essay and my Prince Harming Syndrome e-book, I only reference the words “Prince Harming.” If you’re someone dealing with a Princess Harming, simply replace the gender difference as you read along!)

Wedding Bells vs Warning Bells: Signs of An Unhealthy RelationshipAdmittedly, trying to differentiate between a Prince Harming and Prince Charming can be as daunting as those visual games in magazines – where you’re shown two almost-identical drawings, then challenged to identify what’s different.

Eventually, as you look closer, you’ll see: “Ooh—unlike a Prince Charming, this prince has two faces, not one! Aha!”

Trust me.

You don’t want to date a two-faced prince.

He’ll be a royal pain in your heart.

unhealthy relationship sign is someone bad for your mental healthIn order to make sure you are able to quickly assess how many faces your prince is sporting, here are 10 of the 50 questions you should ask either your Prince Crush and/or yourself.

Each are excerpted from my Oprah recommended book Prince Harming Syndrome (which I’m offering FREE for a limited time).

Basically, if you want to know if you hear warning bells vs wedding bells, ask your crush these questions.

10 questions to help you determine an unhealthy vs. healthy relationship

1. Ask your Prince Crush if he feels he could live a happy life if he never got married.

It will be a fun way to find out his views on marriage without being frighteningly direct.

2. Ask your Prince Crush if he has happily married friends or unhappily married friends.

Again, this conversation will get him to reveal his views and readiness when it comes to marriage and longterm commitment.

3. Ask your Prince Crush how he has grown in the last few years.

Does he talk about how he’d like to grow in any specific areas?

4. Good looks fade. But a bad personality is forever.

Does your partner titillate your mind as much as your body? Do you respect your partner’s beliefs and knowledge and insights? Your ideal partner should feel lust, love and like for you and vice versa. A good royal coupling is a passionate best friendship.

5. Ask you Prince Crush if he feels partners should be honest about everything.

If he says no, then ask him what shouldn’t they be honest about?

Remember: It’s relaxing to love someone who you trust and feel safe with.

When you’re in a healthy relationship, your partner will not hide parts of their life. They will happily offer up the truth, without you feeling as if you are yanking it out of him.

6. Size does matter. You must look for a partner with a really big heart.

Ask yourself if you’ve seen evidence that your Prince Crush is intrinsically warm, open and kind, or the opposite? Have you witnessed your Prince Crush doing small acts of kindness like leaving a very big tip or helping someone with their shopping bags?

7. Has your Prince Crush talked with you about lessons he’s learned about pain and disappointment?

Does your partner show signs of empathy for your pain and disappointment? Do they express nurturing and supporting behaviors? If so, this is a sign of a healthy relationship partner.

healthy relationship two people make a deal to be their best selves8. What’s one of the sexiest qualities to look for in a partner?

The ability to listen and compromise! Why? Because listening plus compromising keeps you feeling appreciated and connected – and is a sign of a healthy relationship.

This applies even to small things, like listening and compromising when it comes to what movie to see or what place to eat.

Have you experienced your Prince Crush being able to listen and compromise?

Have you heard your partner utter the four sexiest words ever: “I’m sorry. You’re right!”

9. Do you know the dirtiest of details about your partner’s mental health history?

Is he bipolar or on medication? Has he ever had a meltdown? Does he have anger management issues? Drug or alcohol addictions? Ask your man directly to explain why and how he broke up with his last relationship. Listen for long-term anger and Drama King stories.

10. If you want to live happily ever after, your partner has to be happy.

Ask yourself and/or your partner if they’re truly happy. If your partner is unhappy all the time, they will view you through non-rosy life glasses!

Soon you might find yourself in an unhealthy relationship dynamic.

You need a partner who embraces character values that help them be emotionally stable, even-tempered, addiction-free and full of high self-esteem.

It’s corny but true—it’s hard for someone to love you happily if he’s not happy with himself first.

Do you sense your Prince Crush feels proud of who he is in his life? Does he allow people to walk all over him? Does he treat himself with self-nurturing and self-respect?

Get more tools to find and maintain a healthy relationship

Check out my bestselling book Prince Harming Syndrome- which is FREE – for a limited time!

Grab your free copy by clicking here! 

I’d love to hear your insights on the comment section below! What’s something which comes to your mind and heart when you read my essay?  Be specific! Share your personal story or a personal happiness tool! 

Think happier. Think calmer.

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