Relationship Problems? Perhaps You Have Communication Problems

Are you having relationship problems? Perhaps you have communication problems. Does your “communication style” hurt or help you? Learn more…

There’s a very consistent reason that people have relationship problems and wind up in an unhealthy dynamic.

They have communication problems.

Basically, the better your communication skills, the healthier your relationship.

No worries. I’m here to help.

[Note: Are you dealing with a toxic person – who makes good communication near impossible? If you’re stuck in a bad dynamic with a crazymaker, check out my video course, Manage and Avoid Drama Llamas. Get tools to disarm challenging people and put up stronger boundaries. Learn more!]

These 6 communication problems lead to relationship problems.

1: Indirect communication 

You hint, hint at what you want to say without ever saying it. Basically, you hope the other person is a mind reader.

2: Passive-aggressive communication

You’re sarcastic about what you want to say.

3: Aggressive-aggressive communication

You’re obnoxious about what you want to say. Basically, you’re a bully, a rager etc…

4: Stonewalling communication

You choose to say absolutely nothing about how you feel. Basically, you put up walls.

5: Untruthful communication

You make up lies in an effort to get what you want and avoid conflicts.

6: Egocentric communication

You are a bad listener. Your communication is a one way street. Not a two-way back and forth street. You communicate about your thoughts and feelings – without listening for feedback.

How To End Communication Problems Which Lead To Relationship Problems?

Try this 7th improved communication style!

7: Direct, empathic communication

You speak up warmly and with compassion – at the speed of life.  You nip problems in the bud before they grow unruly.

How do you change your communication style?

You must get honest with yourself and recognize that you might have what I call a “Portable Childhood.” 

This is when you re-create the trouble-making issues you learned in childhood.

Often problems in childhood lead to problems in communication.

Let’s say that as a child you grew up in a home with lots of bad communication.

As a result your “role models” were not talented at good communication.

Perhaps you grew up with a dad who greeted problems with silence. Or a passive aggressive sarcasm. As a result, you learned these bad communication styles.

Or perhaps you had a mom who was very Mommy Dearest. She shrieked at you all the time. If so, you will attempt to recreate “Shriek Two, The Saga Continues.” 

Basically – you became a bad communicator because you grew up in a home with bad communicators.

How do you unlearn your childhood communication style?

• First, you must own your part in the problem, to disown your part in the problem.
• Next, you have to switch your default setting of “bad communicator” – to the manual setting of “direct, empathic communicator.” Meaning? For the next 3 months you must become mindfully aware of what you say, how you say it, and why you say it.

Click here to read an article with 10 researched tools to help you “train your brain” to become a direct, empathic communicator. [Reading time: 6 minutes.]

Don’t have 6 minutes to read the above mentioned article? Below are 2 mantras to help you to reset your communication style to “warmly direct”.

2 Mantras To Help End Communication Problems – and Improve Relationships

Repeat these mantras often…

• It’s easier to smoosh a little monster than a big monster. I will speak up warmly at the speed of life.
• It’s always better to have a difficult small conversation sooner, rather than try to mend a huge problem later. I will speak up warmly and with empathy.

Dealing with a toxic person – who makes good communication near impossible?

If you’re stuck in a bad dynamic with a crazymaker, check out my video course, Manage and Avoid Drama Llamas. Get tools to disarm challenging people and put up stronger boundaries. Develop effective methods to respond when people treat you badly. Live drama-free. Learn more!