There’s a very consistent reason that people have relationship problems and wind up in unhealthy dynamic.
Basically, the better your communication skills, the healthier your relationship.
You must get honest with yourself and recognize that you might have what I call a “Portable Childhood” – where you are re-creating the communication issues you learned in childhood.
As a child you grew up in a home with lots of bad communication and very little good communication. Perhaps you grew up with a dad who greeted problems with silence – or a passive aggressive sarcasm – and so you learned these bad communication styles. Or perhaps you had a mom who was very Mommy Dearest – and shrieked at you all the time. If so, you will attempt to recreate “Shriek Two, The Saga Continues.”
Basically – you became a bad communicator because you grew up in a home with bad communicators.
You have to mindfully choose to switch from your default setting of “bad communicator” to the manual setting of “direct, empathic communicator.”
If you don’t have 6 minutes to read the article, below are 2 helpful mantras to help you to reset your communication style to warmly direct.
Hi I’m Karen Salmansohn, founder of NotSalmon. My mission is to offer you easy-to-understand insights and tools to empower you to bloom into your happiest, highest potential self. I use playful analogies, feisty humor, and stylish graphics to distill big ideas – going as far back as ancient wisdom from Aristotle, Buddhism and Darwin to the latest research studies from Cognitive Therapy, Neuro Linquistic Programming, Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Quantum Physics, Nutritional Studies – and then some.