Exploring Your First Personal Pleasure Device: Step-by-Step Guide

Exploring Your First Personal Pleasure Device: Step-by-Step GuideHere is a step-by-step guide to exploring your first journey into owning and using a personal pleasure device.

Contrary to the negative thought process and beliefs surrounding the solo use of personal pleasure devices, using them by yourself and at any time you choose is an exciting and empowering experience.

So if you’ve ever felt shy or intimidated about using adult toys or even when you want to explore sex toys, always remember that there are no rules or boundaries to how you decide to navigate your solo journey to sexual pleasure. 

It’s about you and your experience and only you have a say or thought in this process. Besides, exploring your sexuality and embracing self-pleasure is an essential part of adult life. And with adult toys, you can greatly enhance this experience. It’s really just about your pleasure, exploration, and personal preferences. 

I’m sharing this article because I’m a bestselling happiness author, relationship columnist for Oprah, and resiliency columnist for Psychology Today.

I’m also the founder of the research-backed Secrets of Happy Couples Video Course – where I give tools and insights to help couples to maintain their mutual respect and intimacy.

With all this in mind, here’s a powerful step-by-step guide, to equip you with the necessary knowledge, advice and confidence to make the most of your first personal pleasure device experience. So let’s dive in.

Choose the Right Toy

The first guide is selecting the right one for you. With countless options available, selecting the most suitable one for you can be overwhelming. To ease things a little, consider major factors like the size, material, functionality, and personal preferences.

Opt for body-safe materials such as high-quality silicone, and start with something smaller and simpler, like a vibrator. Take a look at online reviews, check for recommendations, and understand the purpose of each toy. 

There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to adult toys, so choose what feels right for you. Prioritize your comfort when choosing.

Educate Yourself

Before getting an adult toy, take time to educate yourself about the toy’s features, instructions, and safety precautions. Most online platforms that sell adult toys contain this information. 

Being well-informed helps create a safe and enjoyable experience. Read the user manual or the manufacturer’s website to understand how to maintain your toy properly and be sure it is something you can do. 


Hygiene is a crucial pointer for adult toys. Before using your toy for the first time, make sure to wash it thoroughly with warm water and mild soap or use a designated toy cleaner. Pay extra attention to crevices and ridges to remove any potential debris or bacteria. Make sure your toy is completely dry before use to prevent any potential bacterial growth. 

Also, check the battery or charging status of your toy to ensure it’s fully functional. Taking care of your toy will not only enhance pleasure but also extend its lifespan.


Using a lubricant can significantly improve your experience and prevent any discomfort or potential friction. Water-based lubricants are generally safe for most toys and can be easily washed off. So go for a water-based lubricant for compatibility with most toys and apply a generous amount of lubricant on both the toy and your intimate areas to reduce friction and create a more enjoyable experience. 

Lubrication will help to increase pleasure and also reduce the risk of any unwanted irritation. Avoid using silicone-based lubricants with silicone toys, as it may cause damage or degradation to your toys.

One step at a time

Exploring Your First Personal Pleasure Device: Step-by-Step GuideOnce you’re ready to get started, take your time and begin slowly. Start by exploring your body, understanding what arouses you, and familiarizing yourself with your toy. You might want to gently touch and caress your erogenous zones and explore various sensations. Remember, pleasure is unique to each person, so take your time. 

Experimenting with different intensities, speeds, and settings allows you to discover what feels best for you. You can always adjust the toy’s angle or pressure to find that perfect sweet spot. There is no right or wrong way to use an adult toy – it’s all about what feels pleasurable for you.

Understand and Explore Your Body.

As you start to get a hang of things, you can explore deeper. It’s essential to have a basic understanding of your anatomy to unlock the full potential of your intimate toy. You could also incorporate foreplay into the mix. Take your time, indulge in passionate moments with yourself. 

Try using the toy as a part of a passionate buildup before diving into more intense stimulation. Different toys have varying functionalities and target different erogenous zones. Experiment with the placement and angles that offer the most pleasurable sensations for you. For clitoral stimulation, try different techniques such as direct or indirect stimulation, or combine them to find your sweet spot. For internal stimulation, experiment with angles, depth, and pressure to find what feels best. Allow yourself to feel the pleasure and intimacy.

Cleaning and Storage

After your thrilling experience, clean your toy again, following the manufacturer’s guidelines. Ensure all lubrication and bodily fluids are fully removed to maintain the toy’s integrity and prevent any unpleasant odors or potential infections. Store the toy in a cool and dry place, away from direct sunlight or extreme temperatures, to prolong its lifespan.

In a Nutshell

Adult toys can help you build confidence and explore your desires and sensations. Move at your own pace, listen to your body, and don’t hesitate to adjust or change where necessary.  With this step-by-step guide, you now have the necessary knowledge and confidence to make the most of your first personal pleasure device experience. Just enjoy the adventure and embrace the joy of self-discovery.

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