If you’re feeling lost about what direction to head – here are the top things people want most in life – from a leading behavioral change expert.
Most of us have been there – standing at the proverbial crossroads, asking ourselves, “What the heck do I really want?”
It’s a question as old as humanity itself.
Whether this question is caused by a growing pile of bills… the repeated patterns of our days… or simply that haunting feeling that life is passing us by… many of us grapple with that nagging feeling that we could be…. should be…pursuing something more.
So… what is that “more”?
That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?
Well, I’m a leading behavioral change expert and bestselling author – and a columnist for both Oprah and Psychology – with a large Instagram following.
I’m also the founder of the therapist recommended program The Tweak a Week Online Course – which helps people to make small, positive changes in their habits that lead to big results.
Basically, I’m a total research geek on the topic of understanding what people want in life – forever burrowing down metaphorical rabbit holes – learning about human behavior and desire.
So I put together this article all about what I’ve come to realize about us humans – when it comes to the things people want most in life.
My hope: After you read this list… you’ll become motivated to stop sabotaging your happiness! And instead you will focus on trusting the true journey of your life – and living a life in alignment with your deepest desires.
1. To be AdoredIsn’t it wonderful when someone looks at you as if you’re made of stardust?
We’re all just overgrown kids wanting a hug or a pat on the back.
Maybe it’s the soft touch of a hand or the silent communication in a glance.
It’s not always about grand gestures or poetic soliloquies. Sometimes, it’s the little things. A mere “Hey, I appreciate you” could mean the world.
Want to feel unique but understood, like a rare vinyl record? You’re not alone.
We all want to be “gotten” – to be recognized for who we uniquely are – quirks and all.
However, remember, if you’re still trying to figure out your breakfast choice after three decades, expecting others to get you straight away might be a tad ambitious.
Look, we all have a bit of that ‘want-to-rule-the-world’ fantasy. But it’s not about playing the despot in a C-list movie or having an army of underlings to do your evil bidding.
Nah, it’s about owning your space – creating the life you want for yourself – on your own terms
It’s the subtle power of shutting up that inner critic who keeps ranting, “Who do you think you are?”
You’re not trying to conquer kingdoms, but rather conquer that voice that says you can’t – so you can have the courage to live life on your own terms – and stick up for your terms when there’s resistance.
You ever stand in a room, feel like a piece of furniture, and think, “Am I even here?”
Yeah, it sucks.
Being noticed isn’t about neon signs pointing your way. It’s more nuanced. It’s about not being invisible – but visibly present in a crowded room – or a big company – or a specific someone’s personal company.
For example, it’s that sweet moment when you realize your partner sends you a ‘just thinking about you” text – which might actually mean they’re, well, thinking about you.
Freedom isn’t just about breaking the shackles. Sometimes, it’s choosing which ones to wear.
Your teenage dreams of running wild might evolve into adult desires of just not attending another pointless meeting.
Adjust the dream. But don’t curb the spirit.
Leaving a legacy is not just about writing a masterpiece. It’s about leaving your mark on the world – with your kindness – with your words – with your helpful perspectives.
It’s about adding a touch of yourself to the universe – leaving ripples that spread on and on – through the love and wisdom you share with others.
Remember the monster under the bed? Turns out, it moved into our heads and got a PhD in messing with us.
We al want to face those inner monsters, chase them out with a metaphorical broom, and say, “Not today.”
We’re all looking to swap old fears for new brave adventures.
No, I don’t mean “Employee of the Month” valuable.
More like “the-sun-won’t-shine-without-you” kind of valuable.
We all have a deep-rooted need to contribute, to feel like we bring something irreplaceable to the table. (Or at least to the occasional potluck.)
It’s 3 am, and you’re tired of the same rehearsed conversations, the automated replies, and the carefully curated images.
You’re not looking for a highlight reel.
You’re craving the raw, unfiltered behind-the-scenes footage.
Authenticity is the currency of connection in an age of pretense.
It’s about ditching the script and embracing the ad-libs.
Life’s a bit of a joke, and sometimes, it’s a darned good one. The world’s spinning madly, and all we can do is chuckle at its oddities.
This isn’t about denying problems. It’s about realizing the comedy in the errors, the bizarre in the mundane.
It’s about the haha that leads to aha. Or the aha that leads to haha!
Embracing a sense of humor isn’t a luxury. It’s a survival tool.
Sure, we’re all in a hurry to get… somewhere? But maybe, just maybe, there’s beauty in not moving sometimes.
It’s not about being lazy or indifferent.
It’s about recognizing that not every moment needs a purpose.
Sometimes, doing nothing is doing everything.
And we all want to feel okay with doing absolutely nothing – without the guilt, shame and labels of lazy.
Life’s not black and white, no matter how much we wish it were.
It’s a spectrum of grays, and navigating it requires more than a compass. It demands intuition.
It’s about understanding that there aren’t always clear answers.
But sometimes, the questions are enough. Seeking clarity is great. But there’s a rhythm in uncertainty worth dancing to.
Life isn’t some neatly packaged puzzle with a glossy photo on the box to guide you.
It’s messy, chaotic, and ever-shifting.
But in its whims and turns, there’s something beautiful, something worth seeking.
If you’ve found yourself nodding, smirking, or heck, even scoffing at any part of this ramble above, perhaps we should meet up for a 1-on-1 coaching session via Zoom.
I’d love to support you in achieving as many of the things on this list as possible.
Learn more about my private coaching sessions here.
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