Do we think people will like us better if we suffer?

poster burst bubbleNote: This is a guest essay by Denise Barry.

Negativity is nothing more than a socially accepted form of mental illness.

I know people who, when asked how their day was, have never said “I had a good day!” Instead, they say, “my day was okay,” no matter how good it was!

I remember being in a room full of people once, at a seminar, and someone went around the room asking each one of us how we felt about our life.  Not one person said their life was terrific!  With a shrug of their shoulders, they said, “it’s fine”  at best.

They never made it around to me, but I have to say, even though my life isn’t perfect and shit happens all the time, I was determined to boldly say, “I am happy with my life” –  because I am.

But I was nervous because I felt like I’d be tossed from the room – then kicked for good measure.

Why is it more acceptable to share the negatives over the positives?  Your child is misbehaving, the stove stopped working, the lady at work is a bitch – guess what she did today?

Do we think people will like us better if we suffer?

If we admit we’re happy to whatever degree we are, does that open us to jealousy and hatred?

Sometimes I think it does. If we’re too happy, people begin to resent us for it. They want what we have and they convince themselves we don’t deserve it.

I don’t think we need to worry that bad things will happen to us just because someone wishes they will. I think negativity breeds more negativity, and hate breeds more hate, and it’s always directed at the one harvesting it.  What good can come of that?

So, go ahead and be happy and admit that you are. Happiness breeds more happiness, so don’t hold back.

Note: This is a guest essay by Denise Barry.


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