self-help for people who wouldn’t be caught dead doing self-help

How To Let Go Of the Past and Future And Enjoy A Happier Present

Want to know how to stop living in the past and enjoy a happy life in the present? Read on for some helpful tools.

The past is good to learn from – not to live in.

If you’re looking for a second place to live, make it some place beautiful – like a beach house somewhere in Hawaii.

Or better yet – simply start living in the moment – wherever you might be in the moment – even if it’s on the subway – or doing the dirty dishes in your home. Vow to be fully present.

I know what you’re thinking. Easier said than done. No worries. I’m here to help- with 2 practical tools to encourage you to break free from the past and future – so you can enjoy the good stuff that’s right smack in front of you.

1. Get clear on why you’re clinging to the past.

Ask yourself what this time you keep obsessing about represents to you.

Does it represent something you miss?
Do you feel that you will never be able to once again enjoy that status, that attention, that high bar of achievement or fulfillment?

Take some time to list some accomplishments you’ve made recently – so you remind yourself you’re strong, worthy and capable.

Check out this article for 6 tips to boost your confidence.

Also ask yourself this questions:

Does this time from the past represent regret? If so – looking for the meaning, purpose and lessons you attained – so you focus on the gain in your pain.
Commit to stop re-playing in your mind what you could have done differently. Just vow to learn the lesson – and do things differently – starting now!

Remember: You cannot change the past. But you can learn some really good life lessons from it – which then improves your present and your future.

Check out this article for a tool to forgive your past mistakes.

Reset your mood to be happier. Check out my book, Think Happy.

2. Get clear on what you’re avoiding in the present and future.

3 Tools To Stop Living in the Past and Focus On A Happy Present

Ask yourself if you are preferring the past – because there’s something about your present and/or future you don’t want to face.

Does living in the past keep you blessedly preoccupied – so you don’t have to deal with a particular challenge, fear, project, task or individual.

Make a list of things you might be avoiding.

Then make a list of how to better confront and deal with these things – so they’re less overwhelming and challenging.

Ask yourself this:

Are you avoiding getting out of your comfort zone – because “the pain of living in the past” is a better alternative than “the pain of uncertainty which the present and future bring”?

Remind yourself: The best things in life are at the exit ramp of your comfort zone.

Plus, ponder this fact: Research says that 80% of what people are afraid of happening ….never actually happens!

I write about this more here – oh and here – and also here

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Karen Salmansohn (Founder)

Hi I’m Karen Salmansohn, founder of NotSalmon. My mission is to offer you easy-to-understand insights and tools to empower you to bloom into your happiest, highest potential self. I use playful analogies, feisty humor, and stylish graphics to distill big ideas – going as far back as ancient wisdom from Aristotle, Buddhism and Darwin to the latest research studies from Cognitive Therapy, Neuro Linquistic Programming, Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Quantum Physics, Nutritional Studies – and then some.