Note: This is a guest blog by the inspiring Ellen Gerst.
Happiness is not a finite destination. It is a road you travel.
And a happy road is most often strewn with terrific memories.
There are many ways memories may be made.
For example:
- Spending time with those you love.
- Participating in activities you enjoy.
- Watching children grow up.
- Participating in milestone ceremonies.
The common thread that binds these together is that they are emotionally touching experiential events vs. touchable concrete objects – such as a possession.
When items are purchased, they can outgrow their usefulness, break, or the thrill of ownership can fade.
Conversely, when you purchase an experience (such as a trip ) fond and happy memories can last a lifetime.
These beautiful times you experience are deposited in a memory bank.
You are able to withdraw your “fix” from this memory bank as needed – which comes in especially handy when you’re facing difficult times.
As Jean de Boufflers said…
“Pleasure is the flower that passes; remembrance, the lasting perfume.”
To better understand this concept, let me give you some examples.
Remember back when your children were first born and you were the center of their world?
You had a mutual love fest going on. Your new baby was the most adorable child on the planet. You marveled over every action and every sound uttered. Even your baby’s poop was something to be examined – even oohed and aahed over!
During this time – and up and through all the many stages of early childhood – you were storing up irreplaceable and loving memories.
Now, fast forward to your child at 15 years old.
He or she is a teenager, and you are wondering if aliens have body snatched your cute baby!
However, even though you may be at the end of your rope with your child, you opt not to banish him or her to his/her room for eternity.
In truth, your restraint is tempered by the stored memories of your adorable baby boy or girl.
During tough parenting times, you simply make a withdrawal of these fond memories from your memory bank.
Thanks to your memory bank of happy times shared, your child does not drive you to the brink of despair!
Similarly, the memory bank theory comes into play during dating and/or established relationships.
When you are dating, it is necessary to spend enough time in the courting phase to store up those perfect, loving moments.
All of the awesome times that make you fall deeply in love will come in handy throughout the course of your relationship.
For example…when you hit a bump in the road (and you will!), you will have enough good, happy, loving stuff stored up in your memory bank -ready for withdrawals- making sure you don’t deplete the entire love bank!
As for your present relationship…?
It is very easy to become complacent.
This might lead to boredom or feeling there is something missing.
Studies show the two most common conversations long-time partners have are:
- “Did you take out the garbage?”
- “What’s for dinner?”
Accordingly, you must remember that relationships are fragile.
They must be nurtured to keep the connection vibrant. It is always a good idea to continuously collect and deposit new “happy” memories – many of which can be done through travel related adventures.
In fact, statistics show that taking two or more family vacations annually can significantly strengthen the parent/child and sibling to sibling bonds, as well as fortify a marital relationship.
Having fun, while creating lasting memories by participating in both recreational and educational experiences away from home, can be a major part of the foundation upon which a happy and cohesive family unit is built.
Pssst…. You can start today – by planning your next family or romantic trip!
Written and shared with love by Ellen Gerst – a grief and relationship coach, author and workshop leader. For more about Ellen click this line here! To see her book, click here!
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