Positive Self-Talk To Use When You Downward Spiral

Bolster your mindset with this system for positive self-talk that you can use when you downward spiral during a tough day – or tough life situation.

Ever had one of those days where it feels like nothing’s going your way? Maybe you spilled coffee on your favorite shirt, got a “we need to talk” text…. or you’re simply faced with a unbearably tough situation.

Suddenly, it’s like your brain is a relentless commentator, highlighting all your stumbles.

Yeah, we’ve all been there.

But what if I told you there’s a way to hit the brakes, to slow down that wild ride of self-doubt and worry? It starts with something as simple as the conversation you have with yourself.

Positive self-talk isn’t just feel-good fluff. It’s about flipping the script in your head, so that you can face challenging times with a bit more grit and a lot more kindness to yourself. Plus start to believe that, yes, life is beautiful.

I’m writing this article because I’m a leading Behavioral Change Expert,  the bestselling author “Think Happy” and founder of The Anxiety Cure Course – which is a therapist-recommended online program.

• Coming up I will break down some the most common negative phrases people use when they are downward spiraling.
• Then, I will share how to create more emotionally healthy positive talk reframes to start saying instead.
• Together we will rewrite your self narrative!

Understanding Positive Self-Talk and the Downward Spiral

The downward spiral often starts with a trigger: a comment from a colleague, a misstep in a project, a social snub, or a challenging situation that feels like a pattern or repeat from a past trauma.

The mind races, weaving narratives that reinforce our darkest doubts.

But the key to arresting this fall is in the pause and reframe.

• You need to take a moment of “self-interrogation” and ask, “What am I interpreting this situation to mean about me and my life?”

When things go wrong, it’s easy to slip into asking, “Why me?”

But questions like that only make you feel powerless.

When you change your questions to positive self talk, you halt the downward spiral.

Ask These 12 Positive Reframing Questions:

Below are some examples of positive reframing questions to help you to pivot away from a victim mindset.

1. Swap “Why is this happening to me?” to “What can be done?”

• This shifts our focus from rumination to action, guiding us towards seeking solutions and taking control of what we can change.

2. Switch “Why does my life suck so much right now?” to “What can I learn from this?”

• Every challenge holds a lesson. By seeking the lesson, we move into a growth mindset, looking for opportunities to strengthen our resilience and wisdom.

3. Trade “Why can’t I ever get this right?” to “How can I approach this differently next time?”

• This question encourages adaptability and learning, rather than fixating on the frustration of the moment.

4. Swap “Why did they do that to me?” to “What could be going on with them?”

• This prompts empathy and understanding, potentially defusing personal affronts and leading to more harmonious interactions.

5. Switch “Why am I always so unlucky?” to “How can I create my own luck in this situation?”

• It’s a switch from a mindset of passivity to one of empowerment, where actions can influence outcomes.

6. Trade “What if I fail?” to “What will I do, no matter the outcome?”

• It transforms anxiety about the future into planning for perseverance, thereby reducing the fear of unknowns.

7. Swap “Why doesn’t anything go my way?” to “What’s something good that happened today?”

• By recognizing even the smallest positives, it can balance the scales of perception away from a sense of perpetual misfortune.

8. Switch “Why do I have to deal with this?” to “What can this teach me about my strengths?”

• This shifts focus from the burden of the situation to the potential for personal growth and self-discovery.

9. Trade “Why am I not as successful as others?” to “What is my own definition of success?”

• It’s a move away from comparing oneself with others to defining personal goals and values.

10. Swap “Why does this always happen to me?” to “Is there a pattern I can change?”

• This encourages a proactive approach to break potentially negative cycles by identifying and altering behaviors or situations.

11. Switch “Why can’t things be easier?” to “How have challenges made me stronger?”

• This reframing helps recognize the value in hardship—as a means of gaining resilience.

12. Trade “Why am I not good enough?” to “What are my unique strengths and qualities?”

• Instead of dwelling on perceived inadequacies, this question reinforces self-esteem and positive self-identification.

Conclusion: Positive Self Talk When You Downward Spiral

So, the next time you find yourself in the middle of a ‘why does this always happen to me?’ kind of day, remember you’re not alone. We’ve all been the star in our own personal blooper reel.

The good news: You’ve got the power to change the channel.

With a little bit of practice and some handy reframing questions and affirmations, you can be the director of your own thoughts, not just a spectator.

Remember, it’s not about pretending everything’s great when it’s not. It’s about changing how you talk to yourself in these moments.

If you need help to reclaim your narrative, and learn to love who you are, let’s chat.

• Work with me in 1 on 1 coaching sessions to strengthen your mindset.

Plus explore my therapist recommended program The Anxiety Cure Online Course.