The Telltale Signs That You May Be Lonely - Karen Salmansohn

The Telltale Signs That You May Be Lonely

The Telltale Signs That You May Be Lonely

If you’re feeling that you may be lonely, there are telltale signs to look for – and strategies to help you to feel more connected to loved ones. Read on…

Health is more than staying physically active.

If your mental wellbeing isn’t high, your body will start to deteriorate.

More people are aware of the very destructive disorders, such as stress, yet one emotion that still goes under the radar is loneliness.

Nobody likes to think or admit they are lonely. After all, you could be surrounded by people you love.  However, these relationships may not be fulfilling. You’ve got to work at and cultivate them to ensure your support network is strong.

In my book Happy Habits I explain how important it is to create regular habits of social connection. In particular, I mention an interesting study about the importance of sharing “substantive conversations” with loved ones – and how these “deeper talks” can raise happiness levels.

The study states: “The findings demonstrate that the happy life is social rather than solitary and conversationally deep rather than superficial.”

4 Telltale Signs That You May Be Lonely

Unfortunately, it’s not rare to miss the telltale signs of loneliness. I want to to help. So here are four signs that you might be lonely – which you shouldn’t ignore.

1. You’re Always On Social Media

overuse of social media might be Sign Loneliness
Social media has some positive features. For example, it’s an incredible way to connect with people you would otherwise fall out of contact with.

Plus, it’s excellent at raising awareness of subjects spreading information.

On the flip side, you can become addicted. And if you’re feeling lonely, you can use social media to replace human interaction – and try to get your “dopamine hits” from others liking and commenting on your posts.

Remember that addiction doesn’t have to revolve around substances. You can be addicted to social media too.

The key:

  • Honestly gauge how many hours you spend on Instagram (etc) – versus socializing in person – or even by Zoom or by phone.

Idea:

  • Don’t just comment on social media about a post which a loved one shared. Call them by phone – and talk to them voice to voice – about a post which they shared.

2. Your House Isn’t Clean

refresh update home decor
Once your emotional perspective swings one way, it’s hard to get it back.

As a result, you can lose passion for routine things that you would normally do out of routine.

After all, dusting the surfaces isn’t high on your list of priorities when you’re lonely and need someone to speak to.

In my book Happy Habits I share a study which reports that people who have more clutter in their homes also have more of the stress hormone “cortisol.”

Thankfully, you can hire cleaners to take care of the housework for you.

FreedomCare even says that anyone on Medicare can pay a relative to assist with their health care.

These are excellent ways to kill two birds with one stone. After all, getting somebody else to do it will present an opportunity to socialize.

3. You Take Long Showers

shower meditation Signs That You May Be Lonely
It’s worth pointing out that you may enjoy the sensation of a long shower, especially on a cold day.

But, research from the NCBI points to the requirement for physical warmth when you’re socially cold.

What this means is that you’re isolated and substitute and want to feel as if you’re wanted. Hot water is similar to a hug or embrace – it is welcoming and comforting. Interpersonal warmth is a human trait that you can’t eliminate, which is why you search for it in other places when you’re lonely.

The lesson to absorb: Keep taking your long hot showers. After all, they’re helping you to feel better. But don’t allow yourself to think that these showers are enough. When you’re done your show, put in the effot to reach out to talk to someone you feel close to.

4. You Do Nothing

Signs That You May Be Lonely friends are important
If you’re choosing to sit around and do nothing – well, then, this the biggest sign that you’re lonely.

When you don’t have anybody to speak to or interact with, you won’t have many activities in which to fill your day.

In short, you’re bored and need to fill the time.

As a result, you resort to binging Netflix shows and sitting on the sofa for extended periods = because you have nothing better to do with your day.

Know this now:

Spending time by yourself is healthy – but only to a certain degree.

If you’re feeling like a sad couch potato, then being alone could be something far different than “me” time. 

In my book Happy Habits I share the happiness perks of cooking and baking.

So here’s an idea to get yourself out of your couch potato funk:

  • Cook something yummy.
  • Invite people over to enjoy the food with you.

You’ll get double the happiness perks:

  • the joy of spending time in the kitchen, making something good to eat 
  • the joy of spending time with friends – watching them smile when they enjoy the treats you made for them

Remember:

Loneliness manifests itself in many ways. Be on the lookout for the signs. Then take action to spend more time with loved ones.

Be The Happiest Version of You

Build happier habits & bust the naughty ones with my book Happy Habits

Think happier. Think calmer.

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