The following is an excerpt from Danielle Pashko’s new book, Breaking Your Fat Girl Habits: Weight Loss Mistakes Even Healthy Chicks Make!The brain and the heart are powerful organs that are often neglected when we think about our appearance. They are directly related to how we feel about ourselves starting at a soul level. When the soul is feeling unfulfilled, the heart is sad about our current state of being (i.e., not being thin enough, pretty enough or whatever).
The brain will then logically reinforce the negativity with logical reasons why we will never achieve our goals (i.e., becoming more attractive). Sometimes you can’t quantify the best success with logic. Doing A + B may not always = C. The body is complex, and while there are formulas for being skinny, don’t underestimate the power of your conscious and subconscious mind. It sounds a little hokey but your emotional heart and your logical brain need to be on the same page for the desired outcome to occur.
Here are some ways to manifest your perfect body without killing yourself at the gym and following crazy diets.
Stop saying things like: “I have a big ass,” “My thighs are tree trunks,” “My arms are too bulky.” Replace these with Positive Thoughts in your head even if it sounds ridiculous to you: “I love my butt in yoga pants,” “My thighs are sexy,” “My arms are lean and toned.”
Go mentally to the place that would be the ultimate result of all your efforts. If you were a head-turner with an insane figure in high school and are now 30 years old, it’s not impossible to look like that again. (I know that firsthand) I gained about 20 pounds in my early 20’s with bad habits I was unaware of and always wore black to camouflage it. By the time I hit 26 (and after much visualization), I lost the weight. I didn’t know how it would magically happen but as soon as I started seeing the change in my mind, the knowledge and answers to reverse my body appeared. So take that dusty old photo from senior year and hang it on your refrigerator!
“I’m not beautiful unless I’m thin.” Self-confidence shouldn’t be contingent on your size. You
can’t be excited through the process of getting fitter and healthier if you are self-deprecating. That just creates unnecessary pressure, everyone around you will feel your burden, and you’ll probably just quit. Try to enjoy the journey at the pace it comes even if it’s slower than your timetable. There are plenty of girls who are objectively thin and pretty but guys don’t find them sexy because they are constantly nitpicking and stressing about their appearance. It’s a huge turnoff that has nothing to do with aesthetics. If you have a few extra pounds but good energy and can accept yourself at whatever pace your body changes, you will be way more beautiful and desirable than the skinny girl who’s insecure.
“I have to punish myself in order to lose weight.” Who wants to start a program that suggests you now have to basically give up the pleasure of eating, going out to dinner with friends or having a drink on a date because your life will be on hold for whatever duration of this misery? You are not becoming a contestant on The Biggest Loser that has to attend 6 a.m. Bootcamp and get your ass kicked by Jillian Michaels.
To read more, get Danielle Pashko’s Book here.
Danielle Pashko is a NYC-based wellness guru. She is the author of Smile at Your Challenges and the upcoming Breaking Your Fat Girl Habits: Weight Loss Mistakes Even Healthy Chicks Make! Danielle has successfully overcome her physical setbacks and never takes how well she feels for granted. Her knowledge has led to lectures, articles and videos on healthy living for several publications including The NY Post, Yahoo Shine, The Jewish Week, Galtime, JCoach, Betty Confidential and NY Wellness Guide.
Hi I’m Karen Salmansohn, founder of NotSalmon. My mission is to offer you easy-to-understand insights and tools to empower you to bloom into your happiest, highest potential self. I use playful analogies, feisty humor, and stylish graphics to distill big ideas – going as far back as ancient wisdom from Aristotle, Buddhism and Darwin to the latest research studies from Cognitive Therapy, Neuro Linquistic Programming, Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Quantum Physics, Nutritional Studies – and then some.