Feeling Invisible? Here's What I Did To Reclaim My Power

Feeling Invisible? Here’s What I Did To Reclaim My Power

Feeling Invisible? Here's What I Did When I Felt Invisible
Are you feeling invisible – like you’re not yourself anymore? This can happen for many reasons. For me, it happened when I became a mom. I started feeling invisible – both to myself and others.  Here’s what I did to reclaim my power. 

I confess there was a time, a few years back, that I lost myself in the role of mommyhood. I didn’t put in the time for “me,” because I was so caught up in making sure I was lovingly taking care of my son – in every way possible.

For example…

When my son (Ari) began Kindergarten, I’d spend the morning putting far more attention into deciding what Ari would be wearing, than what I’d be wearing. Ari and I would discuss what clothes were “cool” (sweatpants and Pokemon tee shirts) and “not cool” (jeans and button down shirts). Meanwhile I just threw on a “whatever” outfit (usually involving yoga pants).

One morning my son and I were riding down in our building’s elevator with a neighbor. My son was talking with me in an animated way about his favorite Pokemon cards.

My neighbor warmly interrupted, “Excuse me,” she said smiling.

reclaim your power when you feel like you're not yourself
Ari and I looked at her. It was common for our neighbors to interrupt us – so as to say something sweet to Ari.

I was certain whatever she’d say next would be about Ari.

“Love that necklace,” my neighbor said.

Immediately I looked at Ari. But he was not wearing a necklace.

So I thought I must not have heard my neighbor correctly.

“What did you say?” I asked her.

“Love that necklace,” she repeated.

Again I looked at Ari. Again, I reconfirmed that there was no necklace around my son’s neck.

My neighbor pointed to my neck. “Your necklace,” she said

reclaim your power when you feel weak and overwhelmed
I laughed. “Oh, I’d forgotten all about this necklace,” I explained. “It was bought many years ago. Plus I sleep in it and shower with it.”

“It’s beautiful,” she said.

Although this compliment might seem at first like a simple exchange – it had a big impact on me. It was a bit of a wake up call even.

Why?

Because I realized in that moment that I hadn’t simply forgotten about my silly necklace. I’d forgotten about me too.

I’d forgotten that I could be notice-able.

Plus I also realized that I didn’t feel comfortable in the role of The Noticed.

I much preferred my role feeling invisible – as mere background fodder to my son.

My top priorities since Ari was born: be the best mommy to Ari when with him – and make money to support Ari when not with him.

Mommy-time and work-time eventually superceded self-care time and Karen time.

Feeling Invisible you need to reclaim your power

My needs had become invisible to me.

I’d become invisible to me.

My next wake up call to my Invisible Woman role came about one month later.

Ari and I were watching a Disney movie on Netflix. We got to talking about the concept of “lead characters” versus “sidekicks.”

The next day Ari came home from school and asked me if he was the lead character in his Kindergarten classroom.

I explained to Ari that everybody in his classroom was the lead character of their own life – and how there were multiple storylines going on at the same time.

I also told Ari that although he was the lead character in his own life – sometimes Ari played a sidekick in someone else’s life story.

Ari looked surprised – then he looked accepting. “Ok, I get it,” he said. “I’m just the lead character of my life only.”

“Yes,” I said. “Correct.”

“BUT,” Ari said, “I’m also the lead character in your life too….Right, mommy?”

I smiled – but said nothing.

“Right mommy?” Ari asked again. “I’m the lead character in your life too?”

Feeling Invisible? Here's What I Did When I Felt Invisible
I paused and wondered.

Ari had become the lead character in my life.

And I wanted Ari to be the lead character in my life.

I even felt bad thinking that I was in fact the lead character of my own life.

Then I thought about it some more.

I realized that I shouldn’t feel guilty about being the lead character of my own life.

This was not an egotistical choice.

It was a “soul-itstical choice”- and there’s a big difference between the two!

I also found it interesting how we don’t have this word “soul-itistical” in our vocabulary – when it’s a very important word to think about.

Here are my thoughts on what it means to be “soul-itistical” – and thereby the leader of your own life.

Feeling Invisible? Here's What I Did When I Felt Invisible
I believe we are here on this planet to become our best possible selves.

We are here to stretch and grow our souls – or our “core selves” – if you’re more psychologically oriented.

It’s important we be the lead character of our own lives – because that’s why we’re here on this planet – for our soul (core self) to learn, grow, thrive.

With this in mind, it’s essential that we not simply exist in the background of someone else’s life – because then we’d forget about our soul’s unique and true purpose!

We need to make sure we are nurturing our soul’s unique and true purpose  – living authentically to who we are.

In fact, many problems occur in life when we stop paying attention to our soul’s yearnings. We put our soul’s needs on hold in order to make others happy! It can make us feel pretty darn sad, angry, resentful, regretful.

It’s not egotistical to be the lead character of our own lives. It’s soul-itistical.

We need to pay attention to our soul’s needs and cravings in order to find true happiness and deep fulfillment.

“Sooooo,” Ari said, “Am I the lead character of your life, mommy?”

I sighed loudly. I hoped I could say what I wanted to say in the right way.

Feeling Invisible? Here's What I Did When I Felt Invisible
“Ari,” I said, “Right now you are the most important person in my storyline – but I am the lead character in my own storyline. My storyline has been a long, interesting and zig zagging one – and many of my most favorite parts in my storyline all happened when you arrived. You are one of the biggest contributors to what makes my storyline fun and happy. But…well… I am the lead character of my story.”

Ari took a moment to take all of this in. He smiled hugely!

“Ok! So, I’m your fun sidekick,” Ari announced. He sounded super-excited to play this role.

Shortly after this conversation, I stopped feeling invisible.

I stepped back into being the lead character of my own life. I started to go to the gym more – makes plans to see friends more – do more of my favorite hobbies (like reading novels and seeing indie films) – get mani-pedis and blow-out my hair. Plus I also started to get dressed up in the morning – in non-yoga pants.

Although these were small outer changes, they were symbolic of a bigger inner change. I became passionately determined to make sure I was indeed the lead character of my own life – without feeling guilty about it.  I accepted that it was absolutely okay – and even necessary – to pay more attention to nourishing my soul.

If you’re feeling invisible, here’s how to reclaim your power

Feeling Invisible? Here's What I Did When I Felt Invisible
I encourage you to embrace the role of lead character in your life.

  • Be soul-itistical!
  • Don’t forget who you are at your core.
  • Do not allow yourself to become The Invisible Woman or The Invisible Man.
  • Appreciate that you are here to grow and stretch your soul.
  • And appreciate all the many sidekicks who help to make your lead character role here on this planet a fun and happy storyline.

If you’re feeling invisible, here’s a mantra to help you reclaim your power

quote about refusing to stress and reclaim your power
Repeat the following intention: “Today I refuse to stress myself out about anything outside of my control.”

And…if you are dealing with challenges and uncertain times, I recommend meditation.

You don’t need to meditate for long periods of time to feel the relaxing results and reclaim your power.

Even taking 2 minutes out of your day to meditate can calm your mind and help you feel in your full power again.

I love the relaxing results of meditation so much….

I wrote a book called Instant Calm – which shares my favorite, simple, 2 minute sensory meditations – which are fun and easy to do.

Each meditation technique is based on using one of your 5 senses (sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste) – and will help you to quickly feel more calm and grounded.

Instant Calm
instant calm book is great for reclaiming your power
 
is great for beginners to meditation – as well as advanced meditators – because there’s something for everyone.

You will learn dozens of quick, stress-reducing meditations – each offering the power to snap you right out of your anxious mindset and into a state of relaxed mindfulness.

My book is loved and recommended by our world’s top wellness and meditation teachers – including Elena Brower and Kristine Carlson.

kristine carlson recommends instant calm to reclaim your power

INSTANT CALM IS A HELPFUL GUIDE TO DECOMPRESS FROM LIFE’S CHALLENGES

Karen’s book “Instant Calm” can help anyone redefine and expand their meditation practices. She shares a range of unique sensory meditations – which tap into all 5 senses – and offer a quick, fun approach to reset your mind and refocus your energy. I personally have begun to use these mini meditations whenever I just want to feel a mental boost throughout my day. Love the illustrations and Karen’s fun and lighthearted writer’s voice. If you’re regularly anxious, I highly recommend this book as a helpful guide to decompress from life‘s challenges. – Kristine Carlson, co-author Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Order my newest book “Instant Calm” now – and learn the super power of staying calm in tough times!!

Think happier. Think calmer.

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