27 Funny Witty Quotes About Life, Work, Friends and Love

27 Funny Witty Quotes About Life, Work, Friends and Love

funny witty quotes about life

I love to write and design funny witty quote posters about life, work, friends, and love.

I believe that “ha ha” can sometimes lead to “aha!” Humor can be a great enlightening agent – waking us up to important life truths.

Quirky info:  My first published book was a funny novel – which was loved by Jon Stewart. He even gave me an official blurb saying he thought my book was as funny as a stand up comic’s.

Below are some of my most popular funny witty quotes about life – shared on instagram. Oh – and my instagram “handle” is @notsalmon! Come hang out with me! Say a friendly hello – and I’ll say hi right back!

How Best To Use These Funny Witty Quotes

  • Print out these funny witty quotes about life. Sprinkle them around your house or office. Post these humorous quotes on your office bulletin board to help coworkers smile.

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27 Funny Witty Quotes About Life, Work, Friends and Love

I hope these funny witty sayings below inspire you to smile and let off some steam about whatever might be bugging you right now!

1. Silence can truly be golden

10 Funny Quotes About Life Which People Loved on Instagram

Some things are better left unsaid. Unfortunately I often realize this after I’ve said them.

2. It’s meant to be if…

10 Funny Quotes About Life Which People Loved on Instagram

If you love someone let them go. If they come back with coffee it was meant to be.

3. A different way to burn calories in bed

10 Funny Quotes About Life Which People Loved on Instagram

I’m guessing I burn about 1,000 calories every time I try to put a fitted sheet on a bed by myself.

4.  More Open-minded At Night

10 Funny Quotes About Life Which People Loved on Instagram

During the day I don’t believe in ghosts. At night I become a bit more open-minded.

  • Use these funny witty quotes about life as fun phone wallpapers. You’ll smile every time you text or call someone.

5. Home Messy Home

10 Funny Quotes About Life Which People Loved on Instagram

It’s either me or my home. It seems both of us can’t look good at the same time.

6. Nothing Sucks Forever

humorous quote about life

Smile. Be happy. Whatever’s happening, nothing sucks forever. -Karen Salmansohn

7. Thou shalt not judge too harshly

10 Funny Quotes About Life Which People Loved on Instagram

Thou shalt not judge too harshly because thou has messed up in the past also. – Karen Salmansohn

8. Texting Has Its Dangers

10 Funny Quotes About Life Which People Loved on Instagram

Texting is a brilliant way to miscommunicate how you feel and misinterpret what other people mean.

9. It’s called an occupation not preoccupation

10 Funny Quotes About Life Which People Loved on Instagram

It’s called an occupation. Not a preoccupation. It’s called success. Not obsess. It’s called being in a business. Not being in abyss-ness. It’s called giving yourself a break to avoid a breakdown. It’s called being good to you. – Karen Salmansohn

  • Share your favorite witty quotes in the comment section below. Maybe I’ll morph it into a quote image poster.

10. This too shall pass…

hilarious life quote

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

11. You either like me or you don’t…

funny life quote from instagram

You either like me or you don’t. It took me 20-something years to learn how to love myself. I don’t have that kinda time to convince somebody else. – Daniel Franzese

12. Older and wiser…

best funny quote from instagram

Every day I understand the phrase, “I’m getting too old for this crap,” on a deeper level.

13. Mean people who pass as nice people…

funny inspirational quote instagram

Mean people don’t bother me. But mean people who disguise themselves as nice people bother me a lot. -Cindy Cummings Johnson

14. If only there were people trailers…

make you laugh quotes about life

I wish people came with a 30 second trailer so I can see what I’m getting myself into. – Karen Salmansohn

15. You know you’re an adult…

funny life quote to make you laugh...

You know you’re an adult when you get excited to just go home.

16. Ooops!

best funny instagram quotes

Ooops! Sorry I didn’t respond to your text. I answered it in my head, and thought it was in real life.

17. Can you have it all?

funny meme about life

Me trying to excel in my career, maintain a social life, drink enough water, exercise, text everyone back, stay sane, survive and be happy.

18. A big secret to happiness

funny happiness quote

A big secret for happiness: Ignore people who do crappy things to you. – Karen Salmansohn

19. Life is ironic…

ironic life quote to make you laugh

Life is ironic. It takes depression to know happiness. Plus it takes stress to understand calm. And it takes absence to value presence.

20. Worry is exhausting

hilarious life quote instagram

An hour of worry is even more exhausting than an hour at the gym. Let it go. – Karen Salmansohn

21. Free time now has a monthly fee

funny quotes

Let’s stop asking people: What do you like to do in your free time? At this point, we all just watch Netflix.

22. Remind me later…

witty quote about life

I’m always hitting “remind me later” for software updates. Then one day I realized, hmmm, that’ sort of symbolic of how I am dealing with some things in my life. – Karen Salmansohn

23. Silent or vibrate?

witty saying about life

Why is it that every time I lose my phone it’s always on either silent or vibrate?

24. Please forget…

witty saying about life

When I tell my kids I will do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is: Please forget.

25. Grandmother to my inner child…

witty quote about life

I’m finally old enough to be the grandmother to my inner child. So now I’m spoiling my inner child, and giving them all the love they might have missed out on! – Karen Salmansohn

26. The irony about ironing…

hilarious saying

Laundry Schedule: Sort – today. Wash – later. Fold – eventually. Iron – ha, ha, ha.

27. One of the biggest lies…

witty quote

One of the biggest lies I tell myself: I don’t have to write that down. I’ll remember it.

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