Are you getting in your own way of happy happiness and success? If so, it’s time to stop! Here’s how.
Note: This is a guest essay by by Kristin Barton Cuthriell
Often we humans can consciously (or unconsciously) sabotage ourselves – because we do not think that we deserve to be successful in life.
We may have made mistakes in the past that we have been unable (or unwilling) to forgive.
We may self-sabotage by habitually selling ourselves short, thinking that our goals and dreams are unreachable.
We may discount our own internal resources – and deny our own personal strengths.
We may unconsciously sabotage situations and relationships that are really good for us.There are many different ways in which we self-sabotage. Some ways are much more overt than others.
Internal shame is at the root of these self-defeating behaviors.
We think that we are undeserving.
We then act in ways that create more shame – which further reinforces our feelings of unworthiness.
It’s a cycle.
An effective way to break this vicious cycle, is to act as though we are worthy.
We can start by asking ourselves, “What would a confident person who is full of self-compassion do in this situation?”
Offer yourself a range of relevant-to-you responses.
I’m sure you will agree that the answer is: “No. I don’t think so!”
There are a range of effective ways to break this vicious cycle of self-sabotage.
Here are some ideas which people with a strong sense of self-worth might choose.
Here again, we see the power of the cliché “Fake it until you make it.”
By acting as if we are already where we want to be, we create our own reality.
If you have been sabotaging yourself, you do not have to stay in this self-imposed prison.
You can start by reflecting on your behaviors and identifying the patterns in your life that are not working for you.
You cannot change what you will not acknowledge. Identifying the problem is the first step toward resolution. You get the snowball started.
When you treat yourself as worthy, you will make yourself feel more worthy.
And the truth is …you really are worthy! You always have been!
Note: This blog post is an excerpt from the book, The Snowball Effect: How to Build Positive Momentum in Your Life by Kristin Barton Cuthriell, MEd, MSW, LCSW. Kristin has spent the last twenty-three years working as an educator and licensed psychotherapist helping people who suffer from anxiety, depression, relationship issues, low self-esteem, and difficult life transitions. She is the author of the book, The Snowball Effect: How to Build Positive Momentum in Your Life and the founder of the inspirational and educational website,The Snowball Effect.
Hi I’m Karen Salmansohn, founder of NotSalmon. My mission is to offer you easy-to-understand insights and tools to empower you to bloom into your happiest, highest potential self. I use playful analogies, feisty humor, and stylish graphics to distill big ideas – going as far back as ancient wisdom from Aristotle, Buddhism and Darwin to the latest research studies from Cognitive Therapy, Neuro Linquistic Programming, Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Quantum Physics, Nutritional Studies – and then some.