Inside The Forbidden Topic Of Childhood Sexual Abuse by Louisa Bishop

(Whispering) Forbidden Topic. Proceed with Caution. Shhh…  (A guest blog by Louisa Bishop)

I used to think that I was cursed.

I had somehow perfected the art of attracting the ‘biggest losers’ when it came to mate selection.

Although I now believe that there are no coincidences, my ‘aha’ moment came after  I was emotionally pummeled for the fifth time.

Finally, I was in enough pain to listen to my inner wisdom which gently informed me that the problem was not out there – with them.

The problem was me.  (Gasp!)

I would show up in each relationship as a happy victim who needed rescuing.

After all, love was supposed to hurt, wasn’t it?

When I became empowered by the spiritual insight that the problem might be within me, I made the decision to educate myself around victimhood.

I discovered that my ‘isness’ was a direct result of having been sexually abused as a child.

Statistics show that child sexual abuse happens to 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys.

This means that either you or someone you know has been a victim at some point.

Only one in ten will ever tell.

It was when it became so overtly obvious to myself that this taboo topic had created a negative imprint on my adult life that I finally became the ‘one in ten’ that’s telling.

Who knew that my numerous breakups would present me with sacred healing opportunities?

Too bad I wasn’t clear that healing was an inside job.

Here are four nuggets that I excavated along my sacred healing path.

1.  I falsely believed that because it happened ‘so long ago’ there was no negative impact on my life let alone my ability to choose an emotionally available mate.  Truth:  Childhood sexual abuse is the worst kind of abuse in terms of destroying self esteem and severing the heart/head connection.  Child sexual abuse survivors often fall in love easily and have a high tolerance for unacceptable behavior.
2. I had been living under a cloud of shame.  Truth:  The victim is blamed and shamed and made to feel as though it is her fault and that she is ‘bad.’ This toxic shame impacts not only mate selection but she mirrors shame-based behaviors to her daughters thus possibly repeating the cycle of shame based behavior.
3. Secretly, I hoped and prayed to be rescued by my Prince Charming.  Truth:  Girl, nobody is coming to rescue you.  Fix you before you approach any so-called ‘Prince.’
4. Though I wore my fierce Superhero neon pink tee shirt on a daily basis, leapt proverbial career and financial buildings in a single bound and appeared to be a social uber rock star, I was deeply wounded and ill equipped to maintain a healthy intimate relationship.  Truth:  Disney says it best:  “Let it go.”  Let go of the emotional baggage and learn to live authentically.

It’s time to educate ourselves and initiate honest conversations around ‘forbidden topics’ like child sexual abuse.  Together we can make a stand against this taboo issue.  We must do this for our daughters.  Let the sacred healing begin.   In am ‘one in ten.’

I’d love to hear your insights on the comment section below! What’s something which comes to your mind and heart when you read this essay. Share your personal story or a personal happiness tool! I LOVE it when you share – because I love to find out about my community! Plus, many thousands of peeps read these inspirational essays – so, what you share could be a helpful inspiration for someone else! xo Karen