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How to Help a Teen with OCD of Thoughts: Research-Based Tips

How to Help a Teen with OCD of Thoughts: Research-Based Tips

I’m sharing about how to help a teen with OCD of thoughts because I’m a bestselling wellness author and leading Behavioral Change Expert. I love to help people to live their happiest lives.

We all know teenagers. They’re expert eye-rollers, pros at slipping out of conversation with a “fine” or “whatever,” and remarkably agile when it comes to dodging any and all parental concerns.

But when your teen seems especially tangled in their thoughts (repeating, analyzing, and worrying obsessively) it might be more than just a bad day or a case of the high school nerves.

Enter the lesser-known but equally tricky cousin of classic OCD: purely obsessional OCD, sometimes called “Pure O.”

Unlike the kind of OCD that gets all the Hollywood airtime (hand-washing, light-switch flipping, door-checking) Pure O doesn’t come with the telltale rituals you can see. It lives inside, often as a carousel of relentless, unwanted thoughts, looping around and around.

It’s like a brain stuck on replay, but without any of the catchy pop beats.

For teens, this can be especially tough. And as parents, it can be heartbreaking to witness. So, how do you help?

What’s Going on in Their Heads? Understanding Purely Obsessional OCD

First, it’s important to know that OCD of thoughts isn’t about being “a worrier” or “stressed out.” It’s a mental health condition rooted in how the brain processes unwanted, distressing thoughts. Research points to misfiring in the brain’s threat-detection system. While most of us have odd, random, or even alarming thoughts pop up now and then, we usually wave them off. For someone with OCD of thoughts, that’s where the trouble begins.

These intrusive thoughts often fixate on areas that feel scary or deeply uncomfortable, such as fears of causing harm, of moral wrongdoing, or intense self-doubt. For teens, this can be especially painful. They’re at an age where identity, acceptance, and self-worth are already tricky to navigate.

How to Be There for Them: Five Research-Based Tips

Now, if you’re hoping for a quick fix, I have some bad news: there isn’t one. OCD is like that pesky groundhog that pops back up even when you’ve tried everything to make it go away. But there is good news too! Research shows that OCD of thoughts is treatable. With the right mix of compassion, patience, and therapy, your teen can learn to manage these relentless worries.

Here are five research-backed tips to support them on this journey.

1. Normalize Their Experience. Intrusive Thoughts Are More Common Than They Think

For teens caught in the spin cycle of obsessive thoughts, it can feel like they’re the only one with a mind that won’t leave them alone. But here’s a comforting fact: everyone has intrusive thoughts. Studies show that 94% of people experience them! It’s a near-universal brain glitch. The difference for those with OCD is in how the brain responds. Instead of a passing, “That was weird,” the mind grabs hold and won’t let go.

How You Can Help: Gently remind them that having unusual or scary thoughts doesn’t make them “bad” or “dangerous.” Normalize it, so they don’t add guilt to an already heavy burden. It can also be helpful to connect them with resources or communities where they can see they’re far from alone in their experience.

2. Encourage Professional Support. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) Are Gold Standards

When it comes to OCD of thoughts, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and, more specifically, exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy are the top-tier treatments. ERP works by exposing the person to their obsessive thoughts without engaging in any compulsion to neutralize the anxiety. For teens, this can be a game-changer. A trained therapist can guide them through the process of recognizing and ultimately detaching from these thoughts.

How You Can Help: Research local therapists specializing in CBT and ERP for OCD and offer to help your teen make that initial connection. Remember that therapy is not a magic cure, but rather a supportive, gradual process. Consider framing it as “coaching” for their mind, a place to learn tools that will serve them far beyond their teen years.

3. Practice Self-Compassion. Teach Them to Be Kind to Their Thoughts

Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research, has found that people with a more compassionate approach toward themselves can better handle anxiety and intrusive thoughts. For teens with OCD, this means learning to accept and let go of these thoughts without self-judgment or spiraling into self-blame.

How You Can Help: Self-compassion can be a hard sell for teens who are used to the “grind and hustle” culture of modern-day adolescence. Start small: Encourage them to talk to themselves as they would a friend in distress. Share a mantra like, “I am not my thoughts; thoughts come and go.” This can plant a little seed of gentleness in a mind that’s used to battering itself over and over.

4. Introduce Mindfulness. Grounding Techniques to Keep Them Present

Mindfulness has been shown in numerous studies to benefit people with OCD by keeping them present and creating some distance from distressing thoughts. Techniques like deep breathing, body scans, and grounding exercises can bring them back to the here and now, rather than getting swept away in the internal monologue.

How You Can Help: You don’t need to become a Zen master to help your teen practice mindfulness. Apps like Headspace or Calm can introduce them to mindfulness in an approachable, guided way. Consider practicing along with them—these grounding exercises can be especially effective when shared, making it a collaborative rather than prescriptive experience.

5. Foster Open Communication. Listen More Than You Advise

Teens are famous for their “I’m fine” reflex, so when they actually do open up, it’s crucial to meet them with a wide-open heart and a little extra patience. Research on adolescent mental health highlights the importance of strong family communication for managing symptoms. When teens feel safe sharing their struggles without fear of being “fixed” or lectured, they’re more likely to stay engaged in therapy and recovery.

How You Can Help: Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just be there. Create a judgment-free zone by letting them know that they can share the weird, the scary, and the uncomfortable without you rushing in to “solve” it. Reflective listening—acknowledging and validating their experience—goes a long way. Try to ask questions that show genuine curiosity, not problem-solving, like, “What’s the hardest part about these thoughts?” or “What helps you the most when you’re feeling this way?”

Final Thoughts: Teens with OCD of Thoughts

Helping a teenager with OCD of thoughts is a bit like being a lighthouse. You’re there to guide them, stay steady, and shine a light, even when they’re tossed around in stormy mental seas. The journey isn’t an easy one, and progress might feel as slow as a plot twist in a bad sitcom, but it’s real progress all the same. With compassion, a good therapist, and tools like self-compassion and mindfulness, your teen can learn to quiet their mind and feel more at ease.

Above all, remember: your role isn’t to “fix” them but to be the one person they know won’t let go, even when the going gets tough. Because adolescence might feel fleeting to adults, but to a teenager, every struggle feels like forever. Helping them find that calm in the storm? That’s a gift they’ll carry for a lifetime.

Get Tools To Manage Your Thoughts

Explore my bestselling and therapist recommended audio and video program: The Anxiety Cure Course.

P.S. Before you wander off to whatever’s next, here are 2 things that will help you get more out of this wild ride called life:

1. Explore My Book: "Your To Die For Life: How to Maximize Joy and Minimize Regret Before Your Time Runs Out." It's just the tool you need to pry more joy, love, meaning and fulfillment out of your life. Curious? Learn more and snag a copy here.

2. Life Review Therapy - This is a coaching session where we get real about where you are, where you want to be, and why you haven’t gotten there yet. We’ll dig deep into what’s working, what’s holding you back, and how to create more joy, love and fulfillment moving forward. If you’re ready for actionable steps and real results, book a free consult call here.

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