Self-confidence and narcissism are two qualities that have differences, but are often mistaken for each other.
While a healthy dose of self-confidence is essential for personal growth and success, too much crosses the line into narcissism.
Admittedly it’s sometimes tough to identify the differences between being self confident and being a narcissist.
So coming up I’m going to share the 4 main signs that you (or someone you know) is starting to tip the scales a bit too far in the direction of narcissism.
I’ve spent 2 decades researching how to manage & disarm narcissists – interviewing experts – reading piles of research – gathered from Trauma Recovery, Childhood Programming, Positive Psychology, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, NLP, Boundary Mastery, The Art of Conflict Communication, etc…
This topic of “narcissists” is highly important to me for a few reasons.
Firstly, because I myself have unfortunately had my heart broken by a narcissistic love partner. I wrote about this heartbreak in my Oprah recommended book “Prince Harming Syndrome” and online course Broken Heart Recovery.
Plus I’ve also been hurt by a few narcissists in non-romantic relationships – which I share about in my therapist recommended course Manage & Avoid Drama Llamas.
So, let’s get going!
And I thought we’d start by taking a look at traits of self confidence versus narcissistic traits.
First of all, let’s define what we mean by healthy self-confidence.
According to psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, self-confidence is “a trust in your abilities, qualities, and judgment.”
When you have healthy self-confidence, you believe in yourself and your abilities and don’t allow insecure thoughts to overtake you.
You also have the humility to recognize your limitations …and the grace to learn from your mistakes.
You take pride in your accomplishments. But you don’t let them go to your head. And you don’t need constant validation from others to feel good about yourself.
On the other hand, narcissistic traits are characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance and a preoccupation with power, status, and admiration.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), individuals with narcissistic personality disorder have a “grandiose sense of self-importance” and “require excessive admiration.”
There are many different types of narcissists.
Some of the traits all narcissists share in common include…
Do you find yourself dominating conversations and always needing to make sure that everyone knows how amazing you are? If so, it might be a sign that you’re starting to develop some narcissistic traits.
Narcissists have a fragile ego and can’t handle criticism. Even if it’s constructive criticism. If you find yourself getting defensive or feeling attacked whenever someone points out your flaws, be forewarned. It might be time to take a step back and assess your level of self-confidence.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. If you find yourself constantly thinking about yourself and your own needs, be forewarned. It’s a major red flag if you’re unable to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. It could be a sign of narcissistic tendencies.
Narcissists need constant validation from others to feel good about themselves. If you find yourself always needing approval from others (and feel hurt or angry when you don’t get it), be forewarned. It’s a sign that you might be developing some narcissistic traits.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe a little bit of self-promotion and ego boost never hurt anyone. As long as you do it in moderation. In fact, a little bit of self-confidence can go a long way in helping you achieve your goals and be successful in life.
But when it starts to interfere with your relationships and your ability to connect with others, it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate.
Concerned that you might be crossing the line into the realm of narcissism? Here are a few steps you can take to get back on track.
I’d love to work with you as your Mindset Mastery Coach to help you identify any underlying issues and to help you to develop healthier coping mechanisms and self-confidence building techniques.
Healthy self-confidence and narcissism are actually two sides of the same coin. It’s important to find a healthy balance between the two.
While a healthy dose of self-confidence can be beneficial for personal growth and success, too much of it can cross the line into the realm of narcissism and start to negatively impact your relationships and overall well-being.
So, if you’re starting to see some red flags in your own behavior, don’t be afraid to seek help and work on developing a healthier sense of self-confidence.