10 Positive Lessons Negative People Have Taught Me

Note: This is a guest essay by Susan Spira

I love growth. I thrive on positive thinking. I love to look for ways  to make the best out of my world and my experience.

In a quick 10 second flash, “View Your Tormentors As Mentors” jumped off the pages of Karen Salmansohn’s new book, INSTANT HAPPY, and into my positive disposition forever.

I love this nugget of empowerment and inspiration Karen shared in her book. I related in a big way – as I have often found that my greatest personal growth has come during times of great adversity and unrest.

I asked her if I could share my thoughts on her quote on her site – the 10 positive lessons I’ve learned from negative experiences with my “tormentors.”

Karen said yes – so here we are!

I thank all my tormentors (myself, included) for teaching me:

1. I love myself. Things I do may need improvement, but they do not define me. I love and am loveable.

2. When you torment me, it’s really more about you than it is me. You may be sad, unhappy, and need to lash out to make yourself feel better. I, personally, don’t have anything to do with your state of mind. I am just in the path of your unhappiness.

3. You don’t own me or control me. In the end only I control my thoughts about me and my views on how I should live my life.

4. It is ok for you to have your opinions. Regardless of your style and delivery, I will think about the content of your message.

5. I will stand-up for myself and not allow you to disrupt my happiness.

6. If you’re particularly cruel, I will consider you a verbal terrorist. And I do not negotiate with terrorists.

7. I do not wish harm to those who torment me. I am capable of forgiveness. I recognize that you are in pain – and I want you to find your happiness.

8. I cannot truly ever know the complete story behind someone else’s personal pain. And they can’t fully understand mine.

9. To be important enough to gain anyone’s attention, good or bad, is an honor.

10. You can only hurt me if I allow you to.

Written and shared with love by Susan Spira. For more about Susan, click here now!

Learn more about Karen’s book Think Happy.