Divorce can be one of the most challenging experiences in life. It’s not just the end of a relationship. It’s a significant life transition that impacts every aspect of your existence.
This person was supposed to be your best friend, your partner in life; you were supposed to be there for each other through thick and thin, but then things changed.
While divorce can be awful, in a way, it’s a doorway to a new life, new changes, and overall, just a new chapter, too.
But before you can look back on your divorce and see for yourself how far you’ve grown you first need to go through the hard part. Now, there’s a lot to consider during a divorce. You have the emotional upheaval to financial strain, and in the middle of all of this you still have daily responsibilities too. So, with that said, is it even possible to make any of this easy on yourself?
I’m sharing this article about how to make your divorce go a little easier because I am a bestselling relationship author with about 2 million books sold globally.
I also founded the therapist recommended self-paced course: Broken Heart Recovery.
Read on to learn whether divorce can be a positive turning point in your life.
Well, this is pretty obvious, actually, but even with that all said, it’s still best to just take a look at this and see what all the aspects are that really make this all feel like such a challenge. So, there are the obvious ones, such as the emotional turmoil, the impact on the kids, the confusing legal battle, and the finances, but these aren’t the only things, either.
You were in this comfortable stage of life that was there for a while, years, even decades. But now it’s all being pulled away from you. Well, the uncertainty that comes with divorce is another significant challenge. Suddenly, the future you had planned looks entirely different.
Where will you live? How will your finances change? What will happen to your social circle? These unknowns can create a lot of anxiety and fear. Humans are creatures of habit, and facing a future filled with unanswered questions can be incredibly daunting.
Divorce doesn’t just separate you from your spouse; it can also affect your social life. Have you ever known anyone who’s been through a divorce? Have you ever watched a show of someone going through a divorce?
A great example would be the TV show The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. The character goes through a divorce, and basically, all her friends (except for one) no longer want to associate with her and instead choose her husband (who was in the wrong and caused the divorce).
So, going back to real life, friends and family might feel compelled to take sides, leading to strained relationships or even loss of friendships. Social circles that once felt supportive can suddenly become complicated or divided, making you feel isolated at a time when you need support the most.
Being part of a couple often becomes a significant part of one’s identity. You’re supposed to be one. So when that relationship ends, it can lead to a sense of lost identity or purpose. Needless to say, rebuilding your sense of self, figuring out who you are outside of the marriage, and creating a new life path can be tough, but overall, it’s worth it to reclaim who you once were.
Divorce can also bring about a lot of self-doubt and regret. You might find yourself questioning your decisions, wondering if you could have done something differently, or feeling guilty about the impact on your family. This internal conflict can be mentally exhausting and add to the emotional weight of the process.
All right, so just above were the things that usually make divorce feel like such a challenge, but is there anything that can be done to make divorce feel a little easier? Well, it’s not going to be a cakewalk; rarely (if ever) is that even possible. But there are ways to make the process a little smoother. Whether you’re in the early stages of considering divorce or already in the thick of it, here are some tips to help you navigate this tough time with a bit more ease.
While this might seem like low hanging fruit, this is important. Essentially, the foundation of a smoother divorce process is good communication. This doesn’t mean you have to become best friends with your soon-to-be ex, but maintaining a level of civility can make a world of difference.
Overall, discussing expectations, agreeing on priorities, and being open about concerns can help both parties understand each other’s viewpoints better. When communication channels are open, misunderstandings can be minimized, leading to fewer conflicts and a more straightforward divorce process.
Mediation can be a game-changer when it comes to making divorce easier. You don’t always need a divorce lawyer, and those can really add up. So, instead of battling it out in court, mediation allows both parties to work with a neutral third party to reach an agreement. It’s less adversarial and often more cost-effective.
Overall, mediation encourages cooperation and can help maintain a cordial relationship post-divorce, which is especially important if you have children.
Easier said than done, right? Needless to say, divorce stirs up a whirlwind of emotions, but keeping these feelings in check can significantly impact the ease of the process. So, you might want to try and approach the situation with a clear mind and focus on the practicalities.
Basically, if you’re allowing anger or resentment to drive your decisions, it can lead to prolonged disputes and increased costs. If needed, seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help manage your emotions healthily.
This is something a lot of people don’t know about but its true, divorce involves a lot of paperwork and deadlines. Staying organized can help you stay on top of everything and avoid unnecessary stress. So that’s why it’s best to keep a dedicated folder for all your divorce-related documents, including financial records, correspondence with your lawyer, and court documents. It might even help to create a checklist of tasks and deadlines to ensure nothing falls through the cracks.
Financial transparency is crucial in a divorce- this is just as big as open communication. So, both parties need to disclose all assets and liabilities honestly. You really need to understand that hidden assets or dishonesty can lead to complications, legal repercussions, and a longer, more contentious process. It’s just a big headache, and it will get more expensive.
So, with that all said, that’s exactly why full financial disclosure can help in reaching a fair settlement more quickly, saving both time and money.
Speaking of finances, property is something that goes hand in hand with it. So, when it comes to dividing property, things can get messy. Yes, really messy, and this can be where the emotional turmoil sets in. If one party is keeping the marital home, using a quitclaim deed can simplify the transfer of ownership. Some couples will do this if they have kids so the environment doesn’t have to change too much for their kids.
But what exactly does this entail? Well, this legal document allows one spouse to transfer their interest in the property to the other without extensive legal proceedings. It’s a quick and relatively simple way to handle property division, which can help make the overall process a bit smoother.
Speaking of kids, if children are involved, their well-being should be the top priority. They need to be number one for both of you! A bitter, drawn-out divorce can take a significant toll on kids, and this can cause trauma with age.
So, you’re going to have to try it. Aim to co-parent amicably and keep the children out of conflicts. You’ll both have to discuss custody arrangements and parenting plans calmly and rationally. So, just remember, you’re still a team when it comes to your children, and working together can make the transition easier for them.
Now, this one might definitely be far easier said than done, but again, divorce is hard, and the goal is for everything to go smoothly for both parties. So, flexibility and willingness to compromise can significantly ease the divorce process.
Sticking rigidly to your demands can lead to prolonged disputes and higher legal fees. So, it’s going to be for the best to just try and approach negotiations with an open mind and be willing to make concessions where reasonable. But overall, a fair settlement that both parties can live with is better than a drawn-out battle.
Everyone can agree that divorce is draining. But you can’t go about this properly unless you’re taking care of yourself. While sure, self-care sounds generic, seriously, this isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a crucial part of maintaining your resilience during tough times.
Your support system can be a lifeline during a divorce. So, you’re going to have to try and keep close friends and family informed about what’s going on, but also be mindful of not turning every conversation into a venting session about your ex. You’re going to have to try and surround yourself with positive influences who can offer support and practical advice when needed.
If your relationship has been feeling unstable, and you want to save your marriage, then you might want to talk to a Behavioral Change Expert Coach like myself. Sign up for a free consultation call here.
Or explore my bestselling digital programs: The Secrets of Happy Couples Online Course or The Broken Heart Recovery Course.
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