If you’re single and looking for love, here are the main things you need to know before you try online dating, so you can find a good partner.
While we all know and agree that 2020 has been a rough year, it has also been a year of learning. Some took to baking, some to acquiring a new language but what we all learned was that it could get lonely when it is just you, your houseplant and your cat in an apartment for days on an end because the government said so.
Many people turned to dating apps in these lonely times. The traffic and activity on dating apps have been truly unprecedented—but can we say it was entirely surprising?
Humans need contact and dating apps are virtually providing for that. So, dating apps are going nowhere in 2021 and we need apps for new amorous pursuits. If, for some strange reason, you haven’t joined this new wave, here are some things you need to know before you try online dating.
Psssst…. if you need some additional emotional support to heal your heart (and learn how to date smarter), check out my groundbreaking video course Broken Heart Recovery. Already the tools in my course have helped many thousands of people around the world to create happier futures.
You may have heard of dating sites like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, etc. These are easily the most popular ones and based on what you’re looking for—whether that’s something casual or serious. Tinder is unanimously chosen for casual stuff, Hinge is for the more serious ones, Bumble also doubles down as a social network app. But dating apps are nearly endless when it comes to variety.
Are you a health-conscious person who wants someone to have the same lifestyle? You have Meet Mindful. You are a queer woman who does not want to waste time if her match is queerbaiting her? HER is your answer. If you’re a swinger couple then there are even sites for swingers, like, Swinglifestyle. Crazy stuff, to say the least!
The first thing you absolutely must do is figure out what you want in your life right now. Dating in the digital age becomes easier when you select the right app.
Selfies with fish are out—men, please heed, women don’t understand why you’re posing with dead carp in your dating profile. Movie quotes in lieu of actual words about yourself are also a no-no. Gym selfies are also hereby banned to the last circle of hell. While shallow, the first impression is the most important, so spare some thought when you write your bio and select the images that your match will see before anything else.
While playing hard to get is also not advised, you also should not be too eager. If you match with someone, take your time. Don’t immediately jump into loaded conversations. If you feel the sparks through the screen, wait a while before you unload your past romantic woes.
Newbies on the scene would be excited, and that’s fair, but just because you have a smoking hot profile picture, it doesn’t guarantee your success. Sometimes, conversations end nowhere and fade out. The taste of failure is bitter but having thick skin helps.
It is obvious that we are not living in the early 2000s when typing a “wassup” would be enough. Most of the young adults of the 2000s are now in their thirties and they have seen it and done it all too. It comes across as a lack of effort when the conversation begins with a lackluster text.
We aren’t paying by the text anymore, so the message needs to be more than pick-up lines and movie quotes.
While reading your match’s profile is highly encouraged, please do remember it is not an exam. No one is testing you on what you have learned. So, pick things that interest you. You don’t always have to impress them. The best way to start the conversation is by quoting something from their dating profile.
You have chosen your dating app, you have controlled your enthusiasm and you are a maverick at texting at this point.
But have you told them what you are looking for?
Have you made your intentions clear?
If you are looking for something casual and they don’t know that, you will be needlessly hanging them along.
If you want something serious and they just want to keep things casual, you are signing yourself up for hurt. So, lay it all down in front of them, and if they don’t want the same, move on.
As if dating was not difficult enough, you also need to be on your toes for scammers and harassers lurking around on apps. It seems the pandemic also left these bunch of people with too much time on their hands, so they turn to apps.
They are not easy to spot but they are common enough that you should know from the signs alone. If you are aware of bot or troll accounts, spotting a suspicious dating account is not a problem.
If it all feels too smooth and if your match wants to hurry things along, be careful and trust your intuitions. While choosing to dive into the world of dating means you need to keep an open mind and let yourself trust the other party, make sure you do not let yourself get taken advantage of. If they are suddenly asking for money and you have only known for half a week, treat it with suspicion. And if they keep asking for personal details like your email or phone number right off the bat, be careful. Most apps allow you to block and report such accounts, so make sure to use them.
We have talked about eagerness and having a thick skin, but allow us to reiterate—it is not always a success right at the start. Expectations breed disappointments even if it always does not happen like that.
Ghosting, spam accounts, verbal harassment are some of many, many problems that come hand in hand with online dating. You are not going to meet the right person the moment you create an account on an app. You have to bide your time and you have to be careful of pouring too much too soon.
Online dating might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but with the correct mindset and tips, it could be a great experience.
The above material is just a sampling of the kinds of helpful insights you’ll find in my groundbreaking video course Broken Heart Recovery.
If you’re struggling with the pain of heartbreak and tired of experiencing a bad pattern of unhappy relationships, learn more about my video course here now!