Do you work in a stressful environment where you need to know how to deal with tyrannical boss. Here’s some helpful tips.
Note: This is a guest essay by Paula Stone
We used to be told as children that if we work hard for our dreams and we believe in ourselves we can achieve anything. But as we grew up many of us had to realize that life is more complex. Life is not a fairy tale.
We need to stay strong when there’s obstacles our way.
Let’s say you were lucky enough to find your dream profession at a very early age. You set your intention for what you wanted and chose the right education. Next, you struggled your way through the bureaucracy. And you passed all the tests to achieve the right position in that company.
Perhaps you feel at this point you could relax – because you’ve now achieved getting to enjoy a safe and understanding working environment, where your work is appreciated, your skills can continuously grow and your personality can bloom. You know you’re doing your part. You always make sure that you are approaching your team members with an open mind. But what happens, when you find yourself in front of an incapable boss.
There are plenty of warning signs of a boss with a toxic personality.
Unfortunately, the best-known feature of toxic boss is someone who can hide their true face for a long time – until you realize that they’re toxic.
- These kinds of people have a problem separating personal and professional life from each other.
- They have a ton of insecurities that they would never admit.
- They’re always looking for a scapegoat that could take the responsibility for their mistakes.
- They have unrealistic expectations from their employees and shifted interpretations of the hierarchy.
- They’re always looking for the chance to create a scenario where they are in control. T
- hey love to turn minor situations into big problems.
- Their subconscious aim is to manipulate people by dividing them.
Many of the cases mentioned above are the most common descriptive signs of a narcissistic personality. Unfortunately many of these people are in leadership positions. They often get what they want because in most cases they don’t play by the rules.
The easiest way to tell that a boss is toxic is to scan their behavior at teamwork.
Usually, these people pick out one person from the group to pick on. They have a very sensitive radar to spot the weakest link. They are always trying to publicly humiliate someone, driving the attention from organizational deficiency to the incompetence of their employees.
If you tell them too much information, they are not afraid to share humiliating personal details about you. Some set themselves up as victims to win your sympathy. But be on guard.
Once you start putting the pieces together your toxic boss might recognize your ability to see behind the curtains. So be careful how much you share. In case you would play with open cards don’t be surprised if they will continuously postpone the personal meeting they promised you, so they can maintain their controlling position.
Once you think you can see the situation clearly and you are ready to make your first step, you might want to consider the possible outcomes of your decision. This can include losing your job. It is very important to recognize how serious the situation or is there any chance for a change.
These toxic personalities hardly can deal with any kind of confrontation or self-reflection.
But there are some tricks to help you to better defend yourself. Whenever you recognize any signs mentioned above make sure that you don’t show your insecurities. This doesn’t mean that you have to remain in silence. In fact you have to know when you should talk.
Whenever your boss is picking someone – or trying to create toxic energies – speak up for your colleague in the most politically correct way possible. Show your colleagues that you recognize there is a problem – and that you’re ready to take actions if needed.
If you start to create a safe situation, others might follow. Plus you can reach out to other colleagues and organize a small meeting about the situation. Don’t forget that unity is strength. When you create a solid network you show signs of power. The key is to find the need for everybody to join in – and estable mutual understanding, trust and connection.
If you noticing that you are indeed capable of bringing people together, you might want to consider not only your position in the company but your position among people. If you are really serious about your own and other people’s well-being you might consider seeing yourself as a leader.
Signs you are a good leader
- You’re someone who can put other’s needs before his or her own
- You respect others – no matter their level
- You’re open to recognizing your own limitations
- You have enough self-criticism to admit your own mistakes.
Note: The above was a guest essay by Paula Stone.
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