Margaret Mead suggested that we should all have three marriages in our lifetime. Famed American cultural anthropologist
The first for love
The second for parenting
The third for companionship
Basically, Mead was suggesting that we match up our love lives with our different developmental stages at different ages.
According to Mead we shouldn’t be too judgmental on ourselves for the mistakes we might have made in love in our 20’s, 30’s, 40’s etc – because we were simply choosing partners for that specific stage in our life.
Mead’s philosophies on love and marriage were inspired from her own life. She was interviewed before her death, and asked about the failure of her 3 marriages. ”
“What failure?” Mead responded. “I had three successful marriages for three different developmental periods of my life.”
I’m more of a romantic than Mead. I love the idea of finding one longterm, loyal soulmate – who is able to satisfy all 3 out of 3 of these developmental needs.
But with that said…. I admit I relate to what Mead suggested.
I know when I was in the frame of mind of wanting to raise a child, I looked for different things in a partner than when I was in college.
Plus, the older I get, the more I appreciate having a partner who feels like a companion – a true best friend. I don’t need the same romantic fanfare I reveled in when I was in my 20’s. These days when I go out on a date with my partner, I’ve swapped getting all gussied up in high heels for dressing down and wearing low heeled walking shoes – because my idea of a good time is strolling around New York City, hand in hand, looking for a new good restaurant to sit in and quietly catch up about our day.
Hi I’m Karen Salmansohn, founder of NotSalmon. My mission is to offer you easy-to-understand insights and tools to empower you to bloom into your happiest, highest potential self. I use playful analogies, feisty humor, and stylish graphics to distill big ideas – going as far back as ancient wisdom from Aristotle, Buddhism and Darwin to the latest research studies from Cognitive Therapy, Neuro Linquistic Programming, Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Quantum Physics, Nutritional Studies – and then some.