Later that night, by coincidence, I was reading The World According To Mister Rogers (which, by the way, is a fabulous book) and I came across a bit that talks about crying.
Rogers talks about how so many people feel uncomfortable with people crying that they wind up saying, “Don’t cry.”
I stopped dead in my tracks.
How many times have I said that? Maybe a thousand? Maybe a hundred thousand?
Rogers suggests that we should allow tears to flow – and lend an ear to those who are upset.
Such a simple sentence, but wrought with so much meaning. I thought to myself about how many times I shut down conversations that could have lead to real understanding simply saying, “Aw, don’t cry.”
We should tell people, “Go ahead and cry. I am here to be with you.”
Since then, when someone cries, I ask them more about their tears. I let them know that it is okay to cry and that I am here to be with them. I recognize there is nothing more important than being in the moment with someone who needs you.
This seemingly small realization has opened a huge place in my heart and it is making me more attentive, sensitive, kind.
Our lives are so busy these days. Everything happens so quickly – and without a thought in many cases. It’s important we take the time to slow down and offer 3 important essentials to those we care about: permission to cry, attentive listening, and a box of tissues.
Hi I’m Karen Salmansohn, founder of NotSalmon. My mission is to offer you easy-to-understand insights and tools to empower you to bloom into your happiest, highest potential self. I use playful analogies, feisty humor, and stylish graphics to distill big ideas – going as far back as ancient wisdom from Aristotle, Buddhism and Darwin to the latest research studies from Cognitive Therapy, Neuro Linquistic Programming, Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Quantum Physics, Nutritional Studies – and then some.