Why I Now Believe It's Good To Cry - a guest essay by Billie Criswell

Why I Now Believe It’s Good To Cry -Billie Criswell

Why I Believe It's Good To Cry -Billie Criswell
I recently had an experience where I cried in front of five couples. We were sharing painful stories. It brought up a lot of tears.  Normally I’d feel uncomfortable crying in front of so many people. But on this night, in this open space, I found myself crying and feeling a kinship with everyone in the room.

Later that night, by coincidence, I was reading The World According To Mister Rogers (which, by the way, is a fabulous book) and I came across a bit that talks about crying.

Rogers talks about how so many people feel uncomfortable with people crying that they wind up saying, “Don’t cry.”

I stopped dead in my tracks.

How many times have I said that? Maybe a thousand? Maybe a hundred thousand?

Rogers suggests that we should allow tears to flow – and lend an ear to those who are upset.

We should tell people, “Go ahead and cry. I am here to be with you.”

Why I Believe It's Good To Cry -Billie Criswell
Such a simple sentence, but wrought with so much meaning. I thought to myself about how many times I shut down conversations that could have lead to real understanding simply saying, “Aw, don’t cry.”

I vowed to myself to never to say “don’t cry” again.

Since then, when someone cries, I ask them more about their tears. I let them know that it is okay to cry and that I am here to be with them. I recognize there is nothing more important than being in the moment with someone who needs you.

This seemingly small realization has opened a huge place in my heart and it is making me more attentive, sensitive, kind.

Our lives are so busy these days. Everything happens so quickly – and without a thought in many cases. It’s important we take the time to slow down and offer  3 important essentials to those we care about: permission to cry, attentive listening, and a box of tissues.

Written and shared with love by Billie Criswell.

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Karen Salmansohn (Founder)

Hi I’m Karen Salmansohn, founder of NotSalmon. My mission is to offer you easy-to-understand insights and tools to empower you to bloom into your happiest, highest potential self. I use playful analogies, feisty humor, and stylish graphics to distill big ideas – going as far back as ancient wisdom from Aristotle, Buddhism and Darwin to the latest research studies from Cognitive Therapy, Neuro Linquistic Programming, Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Quantum Physics, Nutritional Studies – and then some.

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