Ask for what you need by Alissa Finerman

How To Ask for What You Need by Alissa Finerman

NOTE: This is a guest blog by the awesome Alissa Finerman.

Here’s a novel idea….


Sounds like a simple enough idea to ask. When kids are hungry, they ask for food. When kids are thirsty, they ask for something to drink. Somewhere between being a kid and becoming an adult, we forget that we have the ability to ask for what we want. And just to clarify, I’m not encouraging you to be greedy and ask for unnecessary things, I’m encouraging you to think about what’s important to you and why and then go for it.

We can ask for what we need in all areas of our life. We can ask in our career, relationships, and financially. By asking with compassion for what we want we increase the likelihood to live our truth. You may need time for yourself, sleep, honesty in a relationship, respect, more or less responsibility at work, or a day off to highlight a few themes. And sometimes what you need, such as space in a relationship, may not be what the other person wants and that’s ok.  It’s important to honor yourself and your needs.

Perhaps you don’t know what you want.
Perhaps you are scared to ask.
Perhaps you wouldn’t know what to do if you actually got what you asked for.

Amazing things happen when you ask.

One client, who was seriously considering leaving her job, was able to put a four-day work week into place by masterfully conveying to her boss why this would be good for her, the company, and her team. Her boss agreed and my client now works a four-day work week and enjoys her job again. Prior to this shift, my client was frustrated with her job and not happy in her role.

Now, here’s the tricky part…

Just because you know what you want, doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. Once you figure out a four-day work week is appealing (and I’m sure everyone loves this one), you need to think about why this makes sense for your employer, what type of conversation you need to have with your manager, how will it impact people on your team, and what rituals need to shift in your daily work schedule to make this possible. Often, you may find yourself making excuses for why something is not possible (as my client did when I introduced the idea). As you learn to stop this conversation in your head, and re-train yourself to focus on what you want, and why it needs to happen, you will cross the line from im-possible to possible.

And if it doesn’t happen this month, that’s ok. Keep rolling forward because it could happen the next month.

I know one thing for sure — it’s okay to ask for what you want. If you don’t ask, I can guarantee one thing — nothing will change. The next time you’re not sure what to do:

ASK with compassion
ASK with clarity
ASK with confidence

Top 1% Bottom Line:

Sometimes an idea sounds entirely unrealistic until you ASK and it happens. This process of shifting your mindset to what’s possible opens up new possibilities in all areas of your life.

Written and shared with love by Alissa Finerman, Professional Business/Life Coach, motivational speaker, and author of Living in Your Top 1%. For more about Alissa, click this line now!

Think happier. Think calmer.

Think about subscribing for free weekly tools here.

No SPAM, ever! Read the Privacy Policy for more information.

Join over 1.5 million loyal fans!

My research-backed happiness tools have been featured on CNN, Oprah, Psychology Today, The Today Show, etc – and will empower you to live a live of love!


Karen Salmansohn (Founder)

Hi I’m Karen Salmansohn, founder of NotSalmon. My mission is to offer you easy-to-understand insights and tools to empower you to bloom into your happiest, highest potential self. I use playful analogies, feisty humor, and stylish graphics to distill big ideas – going as far back as ancient wisdom from Aristotle, Buddhism and Darwin to the latest research studies from Cognitive Therapy, Neuro Linquistic Programming, Neuroscience, Positive Psychology, Quantum Physics, Nutritional Studies – and then some.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This

Life is short. So we’ll keep this copy short.

Live your happiest life. Get my research-based happiness newsletter delivered conveniently to your inbox.

No SPAM, ever! Read the Privacy Policy for more information.