SOME SOUL MATE SNAGGING TIPS...

I recently got out of a relationship with someone who I never felt fully connected with.

After work at dinner each night I'd always ask him about his day, but to no avail. He'd clam up, never sharing fully who he was underneath his expensive suits. And whenever I tried to get him to talk about his emotions, he'd stonewall, confessing his ex used to have the same problem with his inability to want to share his feelings.

In thinking about this now I realized he didn't have AN OPEN SOUL, which should be a top priority for anyone seeking a SOUL MATE.

YES...first and foremost -- far ahead of seeking someone who is sexy, smart, funny, successful -- you must seek AN OPEN SOUL.

Likewise, if you want to snag a SOUL MATE it is essential you be AN OPEN SOUL.

Sure when you live with AN OPEN SOUL you run more risks for rejection, abandonment, and overall vulnerability/pain.

BUT...

It is only when you risk living with AN OPEN SOUL that you stand any chance at all of feeling connected to another.

Another perk to OPEN SOUL-DOM: self-growth!

When you drop your guards and your fancy-shmancy socialized self exterior, you are up for being challenged -- and thereby up for growing into your highest potential -- which in my belief system is the holy grail for happiness -- gaining insights which help you grow into your highest potential.

Chances are if you are already AN OPEN SOUL it's because you are presently someone who values becoming your highest self, and are thereby up for the risk and challenge of true intimacy. If so, yay for you!

OPEN SOUL people are those who live a life viewing relationships as not only being there for THE PRACTICAL PURPOSE of companionship -- but for THE HIGHER PURPOSE of growth.

OPEN SOUL people put learning how to be better at receiving and giving love as a top life priority... and thereby spend a lot of their time in SOUL SHARING mode... being communicative, appreciative, openly caring, openly loving - because they know the gains of true intimacy far outweigh the pains.

Indeed, if you want to better increase your odds of finding your SOUL MATE, increase your openness of sharing your soul with your partner.

Yo! It's called a SOUL MATE for a reason! Being a SOUL MATE with someone is about connecting soul to soul with them. And if your soul is not coming out to play, you will never feel connected - and thereby never feel like youve found your SOUL MATE. End of story (and a story without that yearned for happily ever after ending)!

WITH THIS IN MIND, HERE ARE SOME SOUL OPENING TIPS TO KEEP IN MIND AS YOU GO ABOUT YOUR WEEK:

1. STOP expecting your partner to be a mind reader. Hate to break it to you -- BUT -- even mind readers are NOT really mind readers! They're clever show biz folks. If a mind reader is not truly a mind reader, neither is your partner! Speak up! If something is on your mind... share it! One of my favorite quotes is from Emile Zola: I came into this world to live out loud. ...So live out loud, dammit!

2. STOP focusing on your fears of intimacy (aka: rejection and abandonment) and re-focus on the amazing perks of intimacy (aka true connection and higher self growth potential!)

3. Commit to staying committed. When the relationship gets bumpy -- see things through the lens of "growth opportunity" -- and learn how to share how you feel warmly with the potential of you being wrong and your partner being right! Learn how to better give and receive love when it's hardest to give and receive. Remember: All relationship challenges are opportunistic vehicles to help you learn how to better receive and give love...the holiest grails to aim yourself at in life

Having a hard time either finding love or staying in love?

Every relationship has 2 purposes:

1.THE PRACTICAL PURPOSE OF A RELATIONSHIP -- to simply have someone to share your life with. And duh...life is a lot more wonderful when you have a loving partner by your side. You double the good times. And hopefully halve the bad times. But as for those bad times -- they can be very challenging -- and at times feel impossible. And it is for this reason that we also need/have a HIGHER PURPOSE for a relationship...

Which is...?

2. THE HIGHER PURPOSE OF A RELATIONSHIP -- to learn lessons on how to become better able at loving! Think about that. Every relationship is actually here to serve to teach us how to become a more loving person -- teach us how to respond rightly/lovingly during those challenging times! And... I believe one of the big goals of a successful life is to LEARN HOW TO BEST LOVE OTHERS! Another big goal: LEARN HOW TO BEST RECEIVE LOVE! Yes -- receiving love is often difficult for many people. They have blockades to allowing happiness and love to flow through their lives and hearts. Well, that is until they get "The Clunk" (AKA: The Life Lesson!) -- which shows them that they have blockades to love -- so they can finally figure out (duh!) they have to work on unblocking their blockades -- because it is due to their damn blockades -- and not merely/solely due to their partner -- that they are so unhappy with their love life! A good relationship will do just that -- clunk you/teach you how to finally see your blockades to love -- so you can fix those blockades and allow more love to flow through your life -- so you can give and receive love at its utmost highest level! With this in mind...all relationship problems are actually secretly vehicles to help you discover what you need to work on within yourself to keep love in your heart. This higher purpose of a relationship is also about learning to pay more attention to all the good in your relationship -- even during the bad -- to learn how to stay a loving person even when challenged! Too many of us don't even seem to notice the good in our partner -- or FORGET HOW TO BE LOVING TO OUR PARTNER -- when the practical purpose's road starts to get a bit bumpy. THE HIGHER PURPOSE OF A RELATIONSHIP is here to remind us: "Yo! You must strive to always treat people at your highest, most loving level if you want the highest level love and happiness in your life!"

Basically the practical purpose of a relationship is obvious to most people. BUT... The higher purpose of a relationship is not.

I wanted to put all this into print for you -- SMACK in your face -- so it might become more obvious as you go about your weekend!

I truly do believe we are all here to learn how to best love and be loved.

I truly do believe that the truly successful life is one which has "learning how to best love and be loved" as its ultimate goal.

And this applies not only with our spouses/parmours... but friends and family members too.

How much love do you presently allow to flow in your life?

How can you get better at giving and receiving love?

Want to hear more love tips? Listen to a free BE HAPPY DAMMIT sirius radio show podcast on love -- for free -- by clicking here.

CHEW YOUR MORNING MUFFIN IN MY EAR! Dial 866-LIME-114!

Eeeegads!

It's finally here. My launch week of my NEW DAILY SIRIUS RADIO SHOW, Monday - Friday, 8am - 9am, Eastern Standard Time, on SIRIUS Channel 114 (and streaming later at www.lime.com).

Here's what's I'll be talking about -- and hope you join me in the conversations!

MONDAY, MARCH 12TH

Theme: The love/sex/love show

Behind The Theme: I was going to call it the love/sex show -- but I'm a romantic, and wanted love after sex as well as before!

Lisa Daily - author, Stop Getting Dumped -- on commitment issues -- it can happen to you or someone you can't love (with tips like how to get your man to propose using car salesman techniques!)

Michael Alvear - author, Men Are Pigs, But We Love Bacon -- on sex wreckers -- when what goes down, won't go up - and how to up the chances it will

Lisa McLeod - author Forget Perfect, -- about what's considered healthy compromising in marriage versus what is considered being plain pathetic -- and how to be imperfectly perfectly happy


TUESDAY, MARCH 13

Theme: The Extreme Success Show

Behind The Theme: When you fall on your face, use the leverage to push up HIGHER!

Jon Friedman -- Creator of The Rejection Show

Adam Walden -- presenting GenArt's The Pulse -- the hottest successes right now in fashion, design, film, etc...

Beth Shoenfeldt, Co-Founder, Ladies who Launch, the secrets of successful entrepreneurship -- with a new hot launching lady


WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14

Theme: The world is constantly changing, dont forget to change with it!

Behind The Theme: Trend spotting for your happiest life

Susan Shapiro Barasch - best selling author, The New Wife and Tripping the Prom Queen, on the changing roles of men/women in love/career

Khatun -- my "Be Happy Dammit Blokesperson" -- ranting on "Help! my man is becoming prettier than me" - and how equal rights have created equal beauty obession for both men/women

THURSDAY, MARCH 15

Theme: Get out of your own way, dammit!

Behind The Theme: The Laws of Subtraction + The Laws of Attraction = more happiness

Dr. Mark Goulston - best selling author, Get Out Of Your Own Way

Peg Samuel, Social Diva with Brooke Emery, from the www.attractionboutique.com, secrets for attracting more of what you want in life


FRIDAY

Theme: Create Your Zen Commandments!

Behind The Theme: What are your top personal laws - private promises, unbreakable intergrity practices, moral codes -- which keep your life percolating at its happiest?

Tea For Three, with Miriam Novalle, Tea Connoisseur, and Lori Anderson, fabulous musician/songwriter/singer

Meredith Haberfeld, Handel Group Private Coaching, why knowing your personal laws helps up your happiness

So...

If you're awake at 8am - 9am and curious about these topics, please call me at 866-LIME-114 and rant your views, or raise your questions. In fact, put my SIRIUS numberoin your SPEED DIALS because I want to hear from all of you!

And..

If you want to be a guest on my SIRIUS show, offering your unique tips on how to live a happier life, absolutely write me at info@notsalmon.com!

INSTANT LOVE (AND SEX) BOOSTERS!

First...thanks to everyone who attended last night's sold out ENOUGH DAMMIT seminar!

I know afterwards a bunch of you asked me more about how to snag and keep the happiest love relationship.

Here's some of my favorite love research discoveries, so you can all enjoy your happiest Valentine's Day ever!

1. Marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman’s main learned hypothesis: Respect and consistent daily affection are the two top essentials for successful relationships -- and contempt is the number one destroyer.

2. Dr. Gottman discovered couples who remain married vs. divorced often experienced just as much conflict -- but put in more "repair" -- with a 5 to 1 ratio of nice to nasty moments. Or as Dr. Gottman himself said: "Satisfied couples maintained a five-to-one ratio of positive to negative moments in their relationship, whereas couples heading for divorce allowed that ratio to slip below...to often one-to-one." Dr. Gottman's presecription: If you're having problems with your honey,add more honey! Give a hug. Cuddle. Compliment.

3. Psychoanalyst Dr. Jani emphasizes the importance of two people being able to appreciate ordinary everyday moments together -- and recommends always starting your day asking: "Anything special going on today?" At the end of the day, always ask: "Hey, how did that special thing go?" All this might seem obvious, but we can forget to ask about daily minutia. And the more you remember to ask, according to Dr. Jani, the more your sex life will improve -- because it will make your partner feel more connected with you! (Who knew? Simply asking:"How was your day, dear?" can lead to hot times in bed?!)

4. Research consistently shows money plays a far lesser role in divorce – usually ranking about fifth in the blame line-up – behind incompatibility, lack of emotional support, abuse and sexual problems. According to Olivia Mellan, author of “Money Harmony: Resolving Money Conflicts in Your Life and Relationships” even when couples fight about money, they’re often fighting about underlying problems. Mellan reminds: “Fights about money are usually more about what money represents: dependency, control, freedom, security, pleasure, self-worth.”

5. All psychologists agree: A couple is only as “strong” as their weakest moments -- how they handle conflict! There are THREE conflict strategies: #ONE: avoidance (the worst); #TWO: fighting (better than avoidance, but still not healthful or helpful); #THREE. validation (the winning method – which means trying to see things from the other person’s view, and sharing all views with kindness, and the goal of finding a win-win compromise!) TRANSLATION: When facing conflict, talk with your partner at the speed of life. Do not shut down. Do not attack. And ABSOLUTELY avoid that #1 love vaporizer: condescension!