A Juicy Happiness Lesson

Have you taken a look at some of those newfangled juice names: Get Smart Juice, Passion Power, Energy Hound, Hocus Focus, B- Relaxed, D-Stress.

So many juices promising so many benefits!

But nobody makes Compassion Cocktail or Niceness Nectar! Nobody makes a juice which makes you nicer or more considerate, offers up the potential for building up a bigger, warmer heart!

I know what you’re thinking: Maybe the manufacturers just can’t make it!

But, I’m betting if there were money to be made in Compassion Cocktail or Niceness Nectar, companies would find a way to make that juice.

Besides, are you really sure any of those other juices (like Passion Power and Hocus Focus) work anyway?

And yet you buy them, just for the hope they will help.

The harsh truth is companies would never even bother to put in the research to create a Compassion Cocktail or a Niceness Nectar, because they have a corporate sense that niceness, compassion and consideration are just not valued enough in this world to sell to the masses!

Which kind of explains much of the mess our world is in globally. And why people are so unhappy personally.

Kindness, compassion and consideration are key TRUE HAPPINESS DETERMINATORS, right on up there with having high self esteem and sharing intimate connections with others. Which makes sense, because the kinder you are in life, the more you raise your self esteem and the more you increase your connections with others.

Plus, here are some other quickie quirky facts on the perks of kindness...

University of Michigan reported nice is healthier. Older Americans who provide support to others, either through volunteer work or simply by being a good friend and neighbor, had a 60 percent lower rate of premature death than their unhelpful peers.

University of Toronto reported that nice is luckier in love. People who are low key and congenial have one half the divorce rate of the general population.

Malcolm Gladwell in his book Blink reported that nice spends less time in court. Doctors who had never been sued spoke to their patients for an average of three minutes longer than physicians who had been sued twice or more.

And according to positive psychology professor and author Martin Seligman, the biggest feelings of happiness come from leading “a meaningful life," using personal strengths to be of kindly, altruistic service.

In an experiment called "Philanthropy versus Fun," Seligman divided his psychology students so some engaged in pleasurable activities (going to the movies, eating yummy ice cream) and the others did philanthropic activities (volunteering at a soup kitchen, reading to the blind).

Guess what?

The happiness afterglow of the fun was nada compared to the lasting happiness of doing altruistic acts.

Meaning?

Doing good for others will also make you feel good—and, according to Seligman, your highest level of feel-good.

Your Assignment: Today be aware of doing small kindnesses to others. Give an extra smile, sweet gesture, warm compliment, generous favor. Also, ask your self what loving deed can you do? How can you help those in greater need? Consider getting involved with a charity where you can make an ongoing contribution.

The Positive Effects Of A Sinking Economy

I love discovering new voices -- and being a mentor to blooming young writers. With this in mind, I'd like to introduce Nisha Kumar. Here's her first post on my blog -- about a fascinating editorial from the NY Times -- all about the positive affects of a sinking ecomony. Take it away, Nisha...

......

Thanks, Karen!

In a time where messages of recession, war, and conflict have been flooding our news, I was happy to discover a happy editorial spin on world events in the NY Times – about the positive effects of our sinking economy.

This surprisingly upbeat editorial was called “Tighten Your Belt, Strengthen Your Mind” and was written by Sandra Aamodt and Sam Wang.

The cliff notes in one sentence: They explain how restraining your consumer spending may actually help you achieve other goals in your life.

Admittedly, at first glance, their theory may sound like a sham – as if by the end of their piece they’re going to convince you to purchase a software package for $99.99. But no. They’re serious – and offer serious studies to back up their theory.

Aamodt and Wang explained how the brain has a limited capacity of self-regulation, but by practicing the control of your willpower, your willpower capacity can actually increase.

Meaning? If during “lean times” you exercise self-control and curb your instinct to spend or indulge in things you don't really need, you will then be strengthening your willpower and your mind for other important goals in your life.

For example, if you can get yourself to resist having that latte from Starbucks every morning -- you will not only save money – but your willpower muscles will be strengthened just that wee bit more – thereby perhaps motivating you to finally sign up for that Italian class – pronto!

Basically, every person has (1) short term willpower capability and (2) long term willpower capability.

(1) Your short-term willpower requires making small adjustments in order to help you reach smaller goals in your life. And little by little the more you display just a little willpower the more your short-term willpower increases.

(2) Your long-term will power is used for the bigger and tougher goals and obstacles in your life. And the way the brain is structured, it helps if you take on one big goal at a time in order to use your willpower to its maximum. Once you are able to achieve your first goal, it should then be easier to conquer your second -- and so on.

The happy news: Eventually, your brain grows accustomed to tapping into both techniques of self control, and thus over time it becomes easier to focus on doing more positive habits which lead to greater success.

Aamodt and Wang mention how increasing willpower capacity can even begin with something as simple as brushing your teeth for two weeks with your non-dominant hand. This personally chosen shift will eventually increase your willpower muscles, and help you gain control over those other irascible parts of your life which you know you’ve been needing to show a little self-control over.

Pretty amazing stuff, huh?

Personally I loved hearing how I might spin-doctor our looming and gloomy world economic recession in to a potential time of personal growth and greater life success.

On that note, I'm off to brush my teeth with my left hand.

Nisha Kumar reporting!

Cancer Made an Optimist Out of Me

Jen Singer wrote to me -- and I was deeply touched and inspired by her story of how she bounced back stronger, wiser, happier from cancer -- and so I am sharing her story below.

If you have an inspiring "bounce back story" you want to share, please write to me. My email is my first name with that little "a" thingie then notsalmon with com preceded by a dot. (Sorry, trying to avoid spam spiders!)

I am definitely looking for inspiring bounce back stories because in May/June I have a new book coming out - THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK - with a red rubber cover on the outside and inside tips on how to thrive in the face of adversity, setbacks, losses, rejection, failure, illness, divorce, assault, bankrupcy - you name it.

I will be visiting 15 cities -- and would love to meet you when on on tour.

And please write to me and share your motivational stories of bouncing back --and I will post them on this site to share with others -- so your story will help folks have true hope that no matter what happens in life, the best is truly yet to come!

Okay...with this in mind, here's Jen Singer...Take it away, Jen!

.....

Cancer Made an Optimist Out of Me

I was always a sort-of glass-half-empty kind of person. If I didn’t get my hopes up too high, I thought, the subsequent rejection, defeat or disappointment wouldn’t hurt as much.

And then I got cancer.

I had four chapters left to write of my book, You’re a Good Mom (and Your Kids Aren’t So Bad Either) when I found out I had an aggressive form of non Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I would undergo chemotherapy, with two of the six rounds as grueling five-day infusions in the hospital where my 82-year-old roommate would stop by my bed to shake her head and lament, “So young. So young.” I was 40, and I had a cancer most common in 65-year-old men.

I could have ditched the book and hidden all summer while other people cooked for my family and took care of my kids, but I didn’t. I’m still not exactly sure why. I know that it was important to “stay strong for the kids,” as people had advised me. Frankly, I just didn’t want to be the one to ruin their childhood. So, we watched HGTV together and played board games – ironically, the game of Life.

When my doctor told me our goal was to cure me of cancer, I went into overdrive. As the well wishes, flowers, brownies and dinners rolled in, I felt like Luke Skywalker in that scene in Star Wars where everybody scrambles into X-fighters and the Millennium Falcon to go take on the Evil Empire. Together, we were going to destroy the Death Star. I was going to put up a fight.

By the time I finished chemo and then radiation last fall, my glass had gone from half-empty to half-full.

“You handled it better than everyone around you,” my brother told me at lunch one day in December.

A few weeks later, I got the news: I was in remission. Goodbye, Death Star.

But remission is not a cure, and I’ve got PET scans every three months this year and plenty of blood tests, check-ups and fear. I’ve got a one in four chance of recurrence, and yet, I feel hopeful. Even if it does come back, I’m going to put up a fight – again.

For now, I’m busy with my book signings and media appearances for my new book – the one I finished in the chemo chair – which was published this month. Cancer, it seems, made an optimist out of me. Maybe it doesn’t matter why.

-- Jen Singer
author of You’re a Good Mom (and Your Kids Aren’t So Bad Either) and the creator of MommaSaid.net. She blogs about parenting and cancer for Good Housekeeping.com and Yahoo Shine. Check out her book trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRMwuaHi2S4

Word to the Wise

I’ve loved today’s “Word to the Wise” word for a very long time.

cor•us•cate [kawr-uh-skeyt]
–verb (used without object), -cat•ed, -cat•ing.
to emit vivid flashes of light; sparkle; scintillate; gleam.


To me, this word is the epitome of a happy person; someone so radiantly cheerful that they emit light and “sparkle.”

Do you or someone in your life fit this description? You damn well should, because happiness is contagious. The attitude you exude rubs off on people whether you realize it or not.

It’s important to get in the habit of being happy, and as hard as that sounds, I’m here to offer you some easy to use tips that will lead you to your happiness peaks!

1. Smile Often
Nothing softens a bad mood like the turning up of your lips. Even if you feel silly doing it, it will at least get your mind off of whatever’s bugging you.

2. Project
Sometimes the things that make us angry are petty and inconsequential. Ask yourself, “Is this worth getting upset over? How will my life be affected by this tomorrow morning? How about in ten years? Chances are if it doesn’t have a lasting effect, there’s no point holding onto that anger in the first place.

3. Put things in Perspective
You may be mad, for example, that traffic is making you late, but I guarantee there’s someone in the traffic jam in a worst off position that you are. While you’re just stuck trying to get home to watch the news, there could be someone running late for a doctor’s appointment to check on his or her biopsy results. This is sad and depressing to think about, but often times being selfless helps us get in touch with ourselves.

4. Write down your thoughts
Someone at work getting on your nerves? Rather than reaming them out, write a little letter to them, and never send it. Or send it if you think it will help. Basically, writing down your emotions is a healthy exercise in getting to the source of your aggressions.

These tips are far from demanding. Instead, they are just a few little tweaks you can institute into your daily life to ensure a coruscating attitude.

Holley Simmons Reporting!

What's your tail of happiness?

Once upon a time there was a small, happy little dog who loved to wag his tail and be playful and adoring with others. This happy little dog heard about a wonderful house with lots of other doggies. He decided to visit.

The happy doggie found The House up on nearby hillside. He bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway and when he peeked inside he saw a bunch of other doggies.

The happy doggie's ears instantly lifted high and his tail began to wag as fast as it could.

To his great surprise, the happy doggie found himself staring at 1000 other happy little doggies, each with their tails wagging just as fast as his.

He smiled a great big smile, and was answered with 1000 great big smiles – each just as warm and friendly as his.

As he left The House, the happy doggie thought: Wow! That was fun! What a wonderful place. I must come back and visit often!

Meanwhile, in this same village, there lived another little doggie, who was not quite as happy as the first one. In fact this doggie was often seen trudging around mournfully, hanging his tail low, growling at passerbys.

This mournful doggie also decided to visit The House on the hillside.

He slowly climbed the stairs and as he peered into the doorway, he hung his head low and protectively growled.

Inside he saw 1000 unfriendly looking dogs, each staring back at him. He growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him.

As he left, he thought: Wow! That is a horrible place. I will never go back there again!

Basically, wherever you go there you are, reflected in all you see around you.

The world is a world of mirrors.

The reflections you see in the faces of the people you meet are often a reflection of your mood and lens on the world.

Today if you feel the urge to growl at someone, think about that little growling doggie and what he received back.

Instead of growling, ask yourself: What would LOVE do in this moment?

Albert Einstein said: We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

I say: Most of the problems in your life were created by not being in a place of love energy - and instead being in a place of anger/hate/resentment energy. If you want to solve your problems, you must change your energy to a loving energy, and keep asking yourself: What would LOVE do in this moment?

And...if you consistently see growling angry MIRRORS around you, think about this tale of those wagging tails.

Force yourself to wag a bit more merrily at others.

Build up those tail wagging muscles, dammit, and you will see a change in all you see!

Win The Metaphorical Life Happiness Lottery!

Did you ever notice that when you go away, thats often when you can see your life the clearest, from a distance of a few thousand miles away?

Im now back from Paris, and feeling the opposite of jet lag! I'm more full of clarity and motivation than ever, thanks in part to an inspiring Italian joke which Im excited to share.

How did I come about an Italian joke in Paris?

I was reading Elizabeth Gilberts truly amazing EAT PRAY LOVE on my trip before bedtime, the perfect book to read while traveling, as it inspires you to really use your vacation as spirit restoration.

That Italian Joke:

A poor man goes to church every day and prays before the statue of a great saint, begging, Dear saint, please, please, please, give me the grace to win the lottery!! This lament goes on for months. Finally the exasperated statue comes to life, looks down at the begging man and says in weary disgust: My son, please, please, please, buy a ticket!!

This terrific joke is a reminder to all of us that we must do our part to create our own good luck.

Life is not 100% random destiny. Life is a lively, interactive fusion of destiny AND free will.

The more you tap into this human perk of free will, and do positive "free will" habits, actions which you can control, the more you increase the odds you will be a winner in that metaphorical Life Happiness Lottery!

Reading and thinking about this joke cured me of my jetlag. I'm truly psyched to be back in NYC doing my "free will" part to create my happiest life. And psyched to share my recommended...

"Free Will" Habits To Do List:

1. Think as many positive thoughts as you can. Each positive thought you think is a Happiness Lottery Ticket you're gathering.

2. If you're having trouble being positive, put in the effort to master your negative thoughts by meditating, journaling, working out. Each of those habits are Happiness Lottery Tickets you're gathering. (For added motivation, tell yourself you are Negative Thought Intolerant, the way some people are lactose intolerant. You simply cannot think negative thoughts because they weaken you and make you feel yucky. You can only think positive thoughts which nourish and energize you, and give you better odds of winning that metaphorical Life Happiness Lottery, dammit!)

3. Studies show The Top Three Happiness Determinators are (1) high self esteem, (2) intimate connections with others, and (3) doing acts of altruism. With this in mind, make sure your daily to do list is full of (1) doing actions which you are proud of (2) spending time in intimate conversation/experiences with loved ones (3) spending time giving back to the world in some way. Each of these action items are metaphorical Life Happiness Lottery Tickets youre gathering around you.

4. Control your stimulus-response mechanism, which makes you reactively pick bad choices in the moment, choices which you later regret. Instead decide to gather around you as many "Long Term Happiness Lottery Tickets" which will set you up for life, well into your crickety old age. How? Every day make sure you choose actions which move you towards your long term life fulfillment, instead of only doing easy, lazy, reactive actions, based on your short-term emergency/impulse needs.

5. Nourish your body/mind/spirit with healthy foods, exercise, meditation, sleep, sex, hugging, smiling. The more habits you do from these areas, the more metaphorical Big Ticket Life Happiness Lottery tickets youre gathering.

6. Go on a No Nuts Diet. Remove nutsy crazy-makers from your life. Nutsy crazy-makers lower your odds of winning that metaphorical Life Happiness Lottery. Likewise, surrounding yourself with lots of loving, growth-directed people increases your odds of being a Mega-Happiness Winner!

Remember...each of these "free will" habits are equal to snagging a Happiness Lottery Ticket. The more tickets you gather, the more you stack up the odds that a happy destiny awaits you.

And best of all, each of these "free will" habits are ALL available to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, rich or poor, young or old!

So do your part to create your own good luck, starting today!

Got the Blues…and I'm Happy 'Bout It!

Who knew the key to happiness was sadness all along?

That is, at least to author Eric Wilson. In his new book entitled "Against Happiness-In Praise of Melancholy" Wilson explores ways in which sadness is actually beneficial to achieving happiness.

Wilson states that by recognizing what makes us truly sad, we can pinpoint what makes us equally happy. Likewise, when we allow ourselves to be melancholy, we fully appreciate it when we become joyful.

Say you're having a wonderful day... Your hair looks good. You're feeling skinny. You just finished a great book. Now say you're at work and your boss compliments you on a job well done. Although this feels really good, it's not likely to make a huge impact on your mood -- since you were already in such high spirits.

But now imagine the exact opposite... Your hair belongs in Glamour's "Don't" section. Your jeans won't zipper all the way. The 500 page book you just finished was a complete waste of time. When your boss tells you that you did an excellent job on something, chances are you'll be so much more appreciative to hear something uplifting.

The natural ebb and flow between these polar opposite emotions creates a balanced tension to be happy about.

Wilson argues that today's society is overly-medicated with anti-depression pills and treatments meant as quick-fixes. Rather than accepting these feelings of sadness, we are pumped full of drugs to make them go away. Now in some serious cases, medication is necessary, and he's not suggesting people walk around with unbearable sadness.

However, what if Vincent Van Gogh had been on Prozac? Do you think he could have created masterpieces without the rage and sadness he experienced? And imagine Earnest Hemmingway doped up on Zoloft. Chances are the sun would have set on the "The Sun Also Rises."

More people need to embrace their mild sadness rather than ignoring it. Otherwise, we're doomed to lead a life of unexamined emotions that could be stinting our creativity AND happiness.


Holley Simmons reporting!

Timeless Happiness Truths: A Penny For Lincoln's Thoughts

Lincoln was not a lucky guy.

At age seven, he was forced to make money for his family.

At nine, his mother passed, forcing him to work even harder.

At twenty Lincoln lost his seemingly stable job as store clerk ... and then by twenty-three he went into debt trying to become partner in a small store.

Three years later, just as his store was picking up speed, his business partner died, leaving him in even more debt.

At twenty-eight, after dating a girl for four years, he got up the gumption to propose. She said no.

Later, when he did eventually marry, his son died at age four.

At thirty-seven, Lincoln was elected to Congress... but... well... that was on his THIRD try. (He then failed to be re-elected. )

At forty-five, Lincoln ran for the Senate. Again: no-go.

At forty-seven Lincoln ran for vice-presidency. But... well...¦ You got it. More no-go, amigo.

At fifty-one, Lincoln was elected President of the United States ... which considering his life resume of consistent failure was a very shnazzy title.

How did he achieve this great success? By holding onto some positive Lincoln thinkin.'

Even in the midst of the Civil War -- a war which claimed more American lives than any war in history thus far -- Lincoln issued a positive proclamation:

"It has seemed to me fit and proper that [the gifts of God] should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged with one heart and one voice by the whole American people. I do, therefore, invite my fellow citizens . . . to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens."

How could Lincoln have made such a positive plea during a time of such suffering?

Because Lincoln recognized that even in the midst of tough times, there was always something to be appreciative about. Lincoln had a naturally grateful heart.

As a life/career coach I've seen how the power of gratitude can not only change a person's mood, but their results.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Make it a habit to end each day talking with your loved ones about what you appreciated about your day. What made you happy? Proud? Excited? Feel loved? By talking about it with your loved ones, you get double the perky perks, because you're not only reminding yourself to keep a grateful heart, you're connecting heart-to-heart!

Oh....and here are some more goodies which Lincoln was thinkin'...

"Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm."

"You can be anything you want to be, do anything you set out to accomplish, if you hold to that desire with singleness of purpose."

And my personal favorite Lincoln quote:

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

And you can QUOTE ME when I say, "No matter what happens today, make up your mind to be happy, dammit!"

Word To The Wise

Starting today myself and my fabulous new assistant -- Holley Simmons -- will be sharing a weekly blogpost called "WORD TO THE WISE" -- where we will share a word to think about...and become wiser for it.

Indeed...Holley will start off this series. So, take it away, Holley!

HOLLEY SIMMONS' "WORD TO THE WISE":

Being a writer, I'm a huge word person. So much so that I subscribe to www.dictionary.com's "Word of the Day."

This week I found the word of the day "indolent" to be particularly interesting, especially the 3rd and 4th definitions.

indolent \IN-duh-luhnt\, adjective:

1. Avoiding labor and exertion; habitually idle; lazy; inactive.

2. Conducive to or encouraging laziness or inactivity.

3. Causing little or no pain.

4. Slow to heal, develop, or grow.


As the definition suggests, true healing, development, and growth comes from experiencing pain. And I totally agree.


Just the thought of going through an emotional painful event is enough for some to pull their tails between their legs and go sit in a corner out of harms way. But how can you ever learn who you are as a person if you're always protecting yourself from disappointment, loss, heartbreak, and any other kinds of hurt?


You can't. And that's because if you go your whole life un-challenged, you'll never know anything about yourself other than what's on the surface. And living your life wearing rose-colored glasses will certainly strain your eyes, and give you a massive headache in the long run.


I'm not suggesting you purposefully put yourself in harms way. That'd be masochistic and not fun (unless you're into that). But don't shy away from a potentially painful experience just because there's a chance you come out scathed.


You need to take risks, push limits, and never make assumptions to get anywhere in life. If your dream job is up for grabs, don't shy away from it because you think you don't stand a chance. What's the worst that can happen? Let's say you apply and don't get it. You re-group and move on. It probably wasn't meant to be anyway.


Or imagine there's a strange illness you've experienced for a while, but are too afraid to get it checked out in case it's something very serious. Don't ignore it. Instead, get yourself to a doctor because even if the diagnosis is bad, you've caught it and can begin to treat it. And if it's really bad, at least you can begin to re-direct your life and re-evaluate what's really important to you before it's too late. People have done it before, and will continue to do so in the future. What makes you any different?


You're stronger than you think, dammit. And, in a word, that's incredible.


Holley Simmons Reporting!

Can you double your happiness, double your fun?

According to research with twins, you can't double your happiness -- but you can increase your happiness by up to 50%.

Yes, after three decades of twin research, studies have shown that 50 percent of your tendency to be happy or sad is determined by your genes.

This tendency is called your "happiness setpoint.”

It means your brain is pre-wired to either see the glass half full or half empty.

But this discovery is actually happy news.

Professor of psychology at the University of California Riverside, Sonja Lyubomirsky, compares the genetically determined happiness set point to our inherited tendency to stay thin or to put on weight.

"All the set point means," Lyubomirsky, says, "is that in the same way some people have to work on maintaining their weight, you may have to work to achieve the same level of happiness as someone else. It may be harder, but it can be done."

In our culture most people struggling with their setpoint – in either happiness or weight – usually turn to quick fix medications – which can be affective.

But -- there are other more fun options when it comes to raising your happiness setpoint.

Indeed researchers say there’s a simple formula for increasing happiness:

H = S + C + V

H = Happiness

S = Setpoint

C = Conditions of Your Life

V = Voluntary Activities


You know already about H and S.

Let’s look at that C – your Conditions.

Researchers say factors like education, health, income, and good looks have little effect on our genetic "setpoints."

Drastic changes in any of these conditions (aka winning gobs of money in the lottery) tend to re-regulate -- balancing themselves right back to original setpoint.

The same holds true for subtle conditional changes, like dying your hair. As the roots in your hair grow back in, you grow used to your new hair – and thereby might not want to re-dye it – because it no longer gives you that added ooompapa of happiness

But there is hope with that valuable V – with all your varying Voluntary activities you can add into your life.

These Voluntary activities fall into two broad categories: pleasures and gratifications.

Voluntary Pleasures are sensual and emotional (a back rub, having flowers sent to you) – and these are generally fleeting in their effect.

Voluntary Gratifications, however, are those activities which give us a sense of purpose -- and tend to last much longer (volunteering at a dog pound, picking up some soup for the homeless. And of course there’s the Grand Gratification of doing your signature strengths – those skillsets you excel at – which make you feel like your life has true meaning and purpose!)

The more you find time in your schedule to do more Voluntary Gratification Activities, the more you will increase your joy – by up to 50%!

Holley Simmons reporting!

What's your 10 Year "Happy" Plan?

Making difficult, life-altering decisions would be a breeze if we had a magic crystal ball to tell us which choices would most ensure our happiness.

But alas, no such thing exists, and we're left up to our own devices to plot our futures and hope for the best.

This onerous act of predicting our happiness is called "Affective Forecasting" -- as coined by Harvard University Psychology professor Dan Gilbert.

In his research, Gilbert explores our thought processes and determines just how good our brains are at forecasting what will make us happy in the future.

Whether our decisions are small ("What shirt will I feel most comfortable in tomorrow?") or large ("Should I spend the rest of my life with John or Pierre?") our brain tries to decide very rapidly how to maximize happiness.

However, certain obstacles get in our way during this decision making process. Gilbert calls one of these obstacles "Impact Bias" -- which is a tendency to believe events will have a stronger impact than they usually do.

For example... Do you remember your first heartbreak? It was debilitating and terrifying and made you believe you'd never find love again. But after time passed and you learned to live with out your significant other, you grew stronger and realized he or she wasn't as significant as you had thought.

According to Gilbert, humans are susceptible to this Impact Bias because we are overly-rational beings.

"People are very good at finding the good in the bad – very good at making the best of the situations that they are irrevocably stuck with. But they don't know they have this talent," says Gilbert.

So with all this in mind, is it possible to Affectively Forecast our future? Should you constantly be evaluating -- and re-evaluating -- what you think will make you happy five years from now? Not exactly. If you are constantly focusing all of your energy on the future, how can you ever truly appreciate your present? You need to avoid planning out every aspect of your future, because what happens if something doesn't go as planned?

Your goal: Try as best as you can to maintain a healthy balance of flexibility versus assuredness when it comes to guessing what will make you content.

Holley Simmons reporting!

7 Booster Shots for Happiness

During her 15 years teaching health and wellness at UCLA, Dr. Darlene Mininni discovered something undeniable: most people will stumble in life without a plan to master their feelings. Inspired to create that plan, she developed and taught an emotional education course that became so popular, applications jumped from 30 to 700 in just 18 months! Soon, even her students’ parents were calling to find out about Dr. Mininni’s life changing lessons.

From this overwhelming response, Dr. Mininni realized that we’re all looking for practical strategies to live our happiest lives.

She left the university to write The Emotional Toolkit and teach people of all ages scientifically proven techniques to boost their happiness, health and longevity.

Dr. Mininni’s 7 POWER-SKILLS to Boost Your Happiness, Health and Longevity:

1. PUT YOUR WORRIES ON TRIAL: Most of us assume our thoughts are facts. Not so. It just feels that way. Next time you find yourself obsessing, put your worries on trial and cross-examine them like an attorney. Ask yourself, “How do I know for sure this won’t work?” or “What evidence do I have that they won’t like me?”

2. DO “3-3-6” MEDITATIONS: New research shows meditation can rewire your brain for happiness by revving up your left prefrontal cortex, a part of your brain that’s associated with happy moods. To start, breathe in deeply to the count of three. Hold that breath for 3 seconds. Then slowly breathe out to the count of six. That’s 3-3-6. When your mind wanders, gently redirect it back to your breath. Do this five minutes every day and whenever you feel stressed.

3. LEARN HOW TO AGREEABLY DISAGREE: Researchers can predict with 91% accuracy whether a couple will divorce by watching how they disagree. If you want a happy relationship, how you manage conflict matters more than love. One rule for success: begin difficult conversations without criticism. Instead of saying, “Gee, you must like sitting around while I do all the work…” say, “I’m really overwhelmed by all there is to do, and I’d love us to work on it together.”

4. WRITE YOUR HEART OUT: Writing about your tough feelings can change them. People who document their deepest emotions when they’re upset are more optimistic about life than before. Try this. When you’re unhappy, write about those feelings for 15 minutes, 3-4 days in a row. Then examine what you’ve written with questions like, “Why does this upset me so much?” or “What would I like to see happen?”

5. WALK OUT YOUR FEELINGS: Just 10-20 minutes of physical exercise is all you need to get an emotional boost. Certain movements, like a brisk walk, can lift your spirits just as effectively as an antidepressant or mild tranquilizer. Next time you’re in a funk, take a jaunt around your neighborhood, dance in your living room, or take your dog for a stroll.

6. STAY CONNECTED: Having just one good friend can alter your body chemistry enough to be happier, healthier and even physically younger. That’s because caring connections spike the release of hormones that produce calm in your body. Looking for a sure-fire way to feel good? Stay connected: call a friend, catch a movie with your mate or even get a pet. (Meaning Charles Schultz was right! Happiness is a warm puppy!)

7. SEEK THERAPY: If you’re unhappy no matter what you do, you might consider therapy. Studies show that if you answer YES to these 2 questions, your therapy is likely to be successful: “Do you have a good relationship with your therapist?” and “Are you learning new skills that move your life forward?”

Timeless Happiness Tips: Ayn Rand

I am going to be running a series of Timeless Happiness Tips which come from famous, cool (dead) people…beginning with the very interesting Ayn Rand.

First of all, you pronounce her name “Ayn” so it rhymes with “mine” – which I find very apropros, because Ayn’s famed life philosophy of OBJECTIVISM is all about going for the “mine, mine, mine” – living your individualistic destiny to its fullest potential.

“I swear, by my life and my love of it,” said Ayn, “I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine. “

Ayn described this philosophy of hers as “rational individualism.”

In her famous novels THE FOUNTAINHEAD and ATLAS SHRUGGED, Ayn dramatized this “rational individualist” -- this “ideal man” – this “heroic being” -- as someone who lived by his own effort – never giving away or receiving anything undeserved -- who honored self-achievement -- and rejected envy of others.

As a self help author I've read many modern day research studies which support Ayn's philosophies. The happiest people are those who tap into their "signature strengths" daily and who don't step foot on that "hedonic treadmill" wanting more just because their neighbors have more.

I remember reading both THE FOUNTAINHEAD and ATLAS SHURGGED back in college – and thereafter torturing every college boyfriend by forcing them to read both these two books.

Lively conversation about the difference between Ayn's highly approved view of “rational individualism” and her less condoned view of “outright selfishness” always followed.

Further followed by frisky talk about Ayn’s sexy sex scenes.

Further followed by no talk …because, well, Ayn sure knew how to write a steamy sexy scene.

But I digress…

Back to Ayn’s views…

Ayn believed that OBJECTIVISM was the secret to happiness – and that there was no greater moral goal than achieving happiness.

With this in mind, Ayn proclaimed that true happiness could never be achieved by mere wish or whim -- but only by a feisty one-pointedness -- pursuing your personal, individualistic passions!

As a self help book author I agree -- and am often coaching clients that "The purpose of your life is to find and do the purpose of your life."

And find and do your purpose you MUST!

To quote Ayn, “The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. “

I love this philosophy. Basically it's saying you gotta go out there and create your own good luck.

Indeed, when I coach clients I'm always telling them that a big secret to happiness and success is turning what you want in life into a PASSIONATE MUST -- instead of letting it simmer as a mere SHOULD.

The “heroic beings” who follow Ayn’s OBJECTIVISM -- in both her novels and in real life -- are achievers who build businesses, invent technologies, and create art and ideas, based on their individualistic talents and in synergy with other fellow “heroic beings.”

Basically, Ayn’s philosophy of OBJECTIVISM is very optimistic.

OBJECTIVISM purports that the universe is built to allow each of us to live a rich, fulfilling life – if we CHOOSE to take our life by the balls.

According to Ayn, “Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice. “

Ayn is also a big believer in NOT feeling guilty about having it all -- if you can snag it all.

MY BELIEF: Sadly, too many people feel guilty if they start to amass too much success and joy – and even self-sabotage.

For example, as I wrote in HOW TO BE HAPPY DAMMIT – if you want to make lots of money, you need to feel good about what it means to be rich – get in harmony with making gobs of money. Once you’re in harmony with wealth, you will see money opportunities everywhere – even in the word “harmony” – which might even start to appear to you as if it's spelled “harmoney”!

When it comes to monetary success and materialism, Ayn said….

“Run for your life from any man who tells you that money is evil. That sentence is the leper's bell of an approaching looter. “

Granted, although I agree with a lot of what Ayn had to say about importance of making a hearty profit from your skillsets – there's a lot of what she said which I do not agree with. For example…

“If any civilization is to survive,” said Ayn, “it is the morality of altruism that men have to reject. “

Ayn writes a lot about the negatives of altruism vs. the benefits of materialism in her famed book of essays “The Virtues Of Selfishness” -- a book I found both fascinating and downright offensive – as I am huge believer that it is important to give back to our world through charity and service – and indeed, I believe that doing acts of altruism is one of the biggest routes to extreme joy. When you do good, you instantly feel good.

But I know even if Ayn and I wound up disagreeing, Ayn would be cool with hearing my thoughts nonetheless.

To quote Ayn: “When I disagree with a rational man, I let reality be our final arbiter; if I am right, he will learn; if I am wrong, I will; one of us will win, but both will profit. “

And it is for THIS particular version of the word “profit” – as in TO PROFIT IN ONE'S SPIRIT AND MIND FROM HEARING NEW, EXCITING IDEAS– which Ayn consistently promotes – and which I love Ayn forever for!

Cloudy With A Chance Of Brain Sex

What’s in the forecast for love?

I've asked my new assistant, Holley Simmons, to research and report on this very important topic. Indeed, Holley will be my Happiness Researcher on my blog regularly from hereon in. This is Holley's first post -- which I personally find very fascinating. Take it away, Holley!

........

Thanks, Karen! For this blog I consulted with Social Technologies, an organization of top futurists, and they gave me the following ten ways technologies will impact relationships of the future.

1. G.P.S.-Goodbye Personal Space
With the advent of social websites like AdultFriendFinder.com, finding a mate could be as easy as locating a liquor store using your Tom Tom. This and sites like it use GPS technologies to alert your phone when a potential match is within a 5-mile radius.

2. Out of Site, Out of Mind
The definition of “cheating” will become more fluid in new virtual worlds. Dating rules which apply in real life may not translate when applied to social websites, like Facebook and MySpace.

3. Where the F*#% art thou, Romeo?
To keep track of your significant other, newly developed systems offer you real-time maps that update according to changes in your lover’s location.

4. Think Shrink
Those in need of relationship advice or guidance need look no further than their computer screens. Online therapy offers love-sick sufferers a virtual space to work out their problems and tackle sensitive issues.

5. Strike a Match, Light a Flame
Compatibility tests will be taken to the next level, using proven scientific analysis to find that perfect someone.

6. Turn Me On
Just because your honey is across the Atlantic doesn’t mean you can’t have an intimate encounter. Using Telerobotic principles, sex toys can be controlled by an operator miles away for a stimulating and interactive experience.

7. Phero-Moans
By unlocking the chemistry behind love and physical attraction, scientists will develop biochemical potions made specifically to magnetize a love interest.

8. Hot Bot
Technological advances will make today’s best sex toys look lame in comparison. Imagine being able to build your ideal man or woman. Literally.

9. Head Games
Have “Brain Sex” using neurodevices which rouse emotions at will. Satisfy cravings as they arise, and have a little fun with your wildest fantasies.

10. That’s it…Keep Doing What You’re Doing…
Take these advancements or leave ‘em. After all, we know our own bodies best, and we ultimately decide what we want out of love. But it’s fun to imagine a world raining sexually connected men and women, weather we like it or not.

Are You A Cougar?

A "Cougar" is a sexy, confident woman over age 40 who never apologizes for her success…and attracts the attentions of younger men.

Some Cougar Examples: Demi, Halle, Madonna, Julianne Moore, Sheryl Crow, Reese Witherspoon, and …Actress/Comedienne/Cougar Donna Moore!

“The Cougar is a metaphor for female empowerment,” Donna Moore says. “The Cougar has overcome sexual and professional taboos and now lives her life to the fullest.”

In her show “The Cougar Cabaret,” Moore completely lets the cat out of the bag -- and shares her many tips and insights on being a Cougar.

Moore's Cougar prowess obviously is seductively appealing - because after a successful run off-off Broadway, "The Cougar Cabaret" is now debuting on February 9th at New York City’s WEST BANK CAFE - with additional performances on February 13 and 16, March 1 and April 11 and 18.

Directed by Robert Brink, with Musical Direction by Steven Borsuk and original music score by Donna Moore and Mark Barkan, "The Cougar Cabaret" is a production of Blue Cloud Productions LLC.

Details available at Donna Moore's site.

Tickets are available through Theatermania...

Or call for reservations at (212) 352-3101. Use code “BWAY” for $15 tickets.

If you know someone who is a Cougar -- or are a Cougar yourself -- or have a good Cougar story to share -- please write to me at karen@notsalmon.com.

How Much is That in "Dog Money"? (A Tail Of Two Price Tags)

Want to increase your chances of getting that job, getting that raise, getting that discount?

I have an informative tale to tell… which begins with a tiny tail – the one attached to my very cute little dog Maxine – a miniature terrier -- my better 1/8th.

I often “multi-task” walking Maxine with doing errands – especially errands where I know there might be long lines – like going to the bank or Fedex. I figure not only might Maxine benefit from some good heavy petting -- but -- all those bored and impatient people can get some good licks in – and the playful warmth exchanged is very win/win.

Last month I had a major computer meltdown -- and so invited Maxine along on my excursion to the local computer store, knowing they always have lines so long, they actually give out “bakery tickets” to keep track of the entourage.

About forty minutes passed before my number was called – but thankfully for me (and Steve -- the very exhausted computer attendant who had called my number) my waiting time had passed in good spirits -- because Maxine had made many friends – all of whom she’d generously introduced me to.

I arrived at a very fatigued Steve’s desk in a playful mood – rather than the typical foul customer mood more expectant of someone who’s computer had crashed -- and they had to wait nearly an hour -- only to be told an exorbitant price to amend their laptop situation.

I tried to bargain with Steve.

But Steve kept telling me “no” – then “NO” – in sort of the same stern voice I use to tell Maxine “NO” when she wants to partake of the dinner my boyfriend and I are sharing.

But…because I was in a playful mood, rather than give up, I adlibbed a joke.

I held up Maxine, so her sweet puppy dog eyes stared Steve directly in his dog-tired face, and said: “Maybe you can say no to a discount for me – but can you look Maxine directly in her eyes and tell her we’re not getting a discount?”

Steve laughed.

Heartily.

The next thing I knew, Maxine had snagged me a bonus 15% off discount.

And Steve’s mood had risen far more than 15%. He actually began smiling -- bigtime.

The lesson here?

No, it’s not to bring a dog with you the next time you buy a car or negotiate your salary.

It’s to bring a sense of humor wherever you go!

Much of my success in business is due to using humor – and so below are some helpful tips which you can use verbatim -- or re-write to fit your personality – all of which will remind you of the powerful perks of staying in a perky mood.

The truth of the matter: There’s far too much stress and sadness in the world.

According to Marci Shmimoff, author the N.Y.Times best seller, HAPPY FOR NO REASON, “The World Health Organization predicts that by 20/20, depression will be second only to heart disease in terms of global burden of illness.”

Meaning? Even if using some of the humorous ideas below don’t snag you that discount/job/raise – at least you’re out there having fun – and trying to make this world a happier place.

5 LAUGH YOUR WAY TO THE BANK BUSINESS TIPS:

1. SALARY NEGOTIATION… I once used this humorous quip, during a tough salary negotiation. The client said, “Karen, this is a negotiation. There’s supposed to be some give and take.” I teased: “Fine. You give. And I’ll take.” Guess what? That’s exactly what happened.

2. TRYING TO GET IN THE DOOR… Recently I had this humor quip used on me – and it worked. A PR person kept pitching me their client for my Sirius show. On about her seventh email, she switched gears, and began her email with this line: “I feel like one of those dolls that keeps bouncing back up again and again … but…” I laughed at her joke – re-read her pitch more attentively – and booked her guest. Later I used her exact email intro quip on someone I'd be unsuccessful at getting in to see. Guess what? I got the meeting.

3. INTERVIEW….When I was in advertising, I used this joke once at the end of an interview – and it clinched my job offer. At the end of the interview, the exec asked me, “Okay. Do you have any questions for me?” I adlibbed: “Um…yes. Can you name all seven of the seven dwarves?” The exec laughed, then tried to list them. As he did I quipped, “You know I have a theory that whichever dwarf you name first says something about you.” (He’d said “HAPPY” first. Maybe my surreal answer had put him in this state...?) Then the exec tried to list all seven of those seven dwarves, but couldn’t. So I quipped, “I also have a theory -- it’s revealing which dwarf’s name you can’t remember.” (As it turned out, neither he nor I could remember all seven dwarves. And so my job offer came with a strange code word. My headhunter called to tell me: “The exec said you got the job and to tell you ‘Sneezy.’" My guess: This humorous quip worked for a few reasons. (1) It was a creative director job I was interviewing for -- so I was actually giving him proof of my creativity. (2) All resumes being equal, people are so yearning for fun at work, they'd rather hire the fun/playful person. (3) Their ad agency was more of an "edgy" agency. This humorous quip might not have boded so well if I'd be interviewing at a bank. (4) It's boring interviewing people. I snapped the exec out of his interview trance -- and so I not only stood out in the crowd -- I changed his energy state -- and so he associated more positive emotions with me. Note: This adlib was completely by accident. I too was bored with interviewing -- and was yearning to pep things up. I did not go in purposefully with this answer -- but hey, if it worked with me, feel free to try it for yourself -- if the "job offer" fits this jokey response.)

4. AVOIDING A DIFFICULT QUESTION: Often people ask me inappropriate questions – like: “Do you mind if I ask you how much money you got for an advance on that book deal?” My answer: “I don’t mind you asking. I just mind me answering.” I find it closes down this uncomfortable conversation in a warm manner.

5. WARNING: EVEN A COMEDIAN KNOWS TO TEST HIS AUDIENCE AND DO A FEW WARM UP JOKES…With this in mind, I always begin EVERY phonecall I make with: “Is now a good time to talk?” If someone is in a frantic mood, it’s important to know before you begin talking. After all, it won’t matter how fabulous your product is or how adorable you might be, if someone’s mindset is on OFF. Plus, I also know to test out my humor slowly and raise the “edginess” of it slowly. Know thy audience -- before you quip to outrageously!

Do you have a story where humor bred success? If so, please share it below.

And if you're having trouble getting yourself into a humorous mood, please check out my book HOW TO BE HAPPY DAMMIT.

Energy To Go, Go, Go...

Fact: You can't get to where you want to go in your career -- or your relationship -- if you're low on energy.

Fact: Eating healthy foods will not just help you get rid of "muffin top" and "big buns" (note: see blog below). There are also deep and meaningful reasons for eating right -- which include having the vitality to accomplish your work goals -- and the spirited, positive energy to interact with your loved ones.

And I'm reminded of all these extra perky perks to eating right -- every time I bump into the fabulous Andrea Beaman -- a Top Chef Contestant -- and an inspiringly productive, high-energy gal.

I'd also like to add that Andrea's blessed with a trim figure, clear bright eyes, shiny hair, smooth skin and overall healthy glow -- but Andrea wasn't simply blessed-out-of-nowhere with these fabulous attributes.

No, no, no. Andrea truly earned these descriptors.

Indeed, Andrea is living proof of that expression "You are what you eat."

In her fascinating book, The Whole Truth, Better Food for Better Health, Andrea elaborates on how when she used to eat a diet filled with refined foods, junk foods, “diet” foods, stimulants and sugar... she was a whopping 25 pounds heavier, suffered from hypothyroidism, adult acne, brittle nails, and split ends.

It's hard to believe any of that -- when you look at Andrea today!

But Andrea insists it was only after she improved her food and lifestyle choices, that her energy, health and body dramatically changed.

Below are some of her insider cliffnotes -- on how you too can up your energy levels while you lower your weight...

EAT WHOLE FOODS! Whole foods have the vitamins, minerals, fat, fiber, protein, antioxidants and other elements your body needs to be nutritionally satisfied and to thrive. Some whole foods to chew on include whole grains, beans, animal proteins, vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, sea vegetables and real fats.

TOSS OUT ANYTHING “DIET.” Any packaged food stating it is diet, non-fat, low-fat, or contains sugar substitutes is probably loaded with chemicals, fillers, non-nutritive food substances and other nasty ingredients that your beautiful body cannot process. Remember to keep it real!

SPEND MONEY ON BETTER FOOD. Buy naturally raised, organically grown, local and seasonal foods. It may cost a little bit more, but you are making a delicious investment in your health. You are worth it!

Andrea insists that when your body is filled with the best quality foods, you will not only look better, you will have an abundance of energy!

Remember: If you're lacking in energy -- then it won't matter if you have the most talent in the world to do your job -- or if you have the biggest heart, best personality, and most fabulous kisses to give to your loved ones. You need energy first and foremost!

Remember: Eat right, dammit!

Dismayed by Muffin Top?

"Big buns" is an expression I've known for years -- but it's only recently I learned the expression "muffin-top" -- which is in reference to the sides of your waistline which jut out above your pants -- like the edge of a muffin top -- when you've packed on a few.

Khatun, one of NYC's top trainers, has the cure for both muffin top and big buns.

Khatun, an ex-pat Brit with twelve years experience, says: "Half the battle is showing up! But once there, it's actually quite simple to use your time more efficiently."

Here are a few of Khatun's main tips....

- GET YOUR VALUES IN SYNC WITH YOUR ACTIONS. We all know what it's like - when you're feeling torn between the gym and the couch. Right then is an opportunity to ask yourself, on a scale of 1 to 10, how important are feeling lean, fit, strong and healthy are to you? Get your answer - and act accordingly!

- WORK OUT LIKE YOU MEAN IT. When you pay attention to what your body and muscles are doing and how it feels when you're working it -- guess what? You actually increase the effectiveness and intensity of your workout. Sound preposterous? It's not. Repeated studies show body awareness during work-outs improves results.

- DON'T SPEAK! Workout time is time to work - not to be social. If you can talk while you work, you're not working hard enough!

- HIRE A TRAINER! Knowing someone is waiting for you and expecting you to show up is very motivating. Once there, they will also push to go further!

And if you live in NYC, and want to work out with Khatun, feel free to write her at perceptionmanagement@yahoo.com.

Want More Sex and Romance?

If you’re feeling as if staying close is not so simple, that’s because the male and female brain are very complex.

Very.

I just finished reading an interesting article in Men’s Health Magazine, written by Louann Brizendine -- a professor of psychiatry with an expertise in neuroscience.

Here are its Cliff Notes: “Yikes -- what a difference a chromosome makes!”

Okay. Let me expand a wee bit more on those Cliff Notes...

Basically the article explains how a man’s hypothalamus – the brain area which governs sexual pursuit -- is said to be potentially as much as seven times larger than a female’s hypothalamus – making it a fact that men have sex on the brain more than women – in a literal sense. Plus, it has also been estimated that the sex circuits in a typical man's brain light up once a minute -- much more often than a woman's – only the article didn’t say how much more.

One thing men and women actually do share in common – the natural decline in dopamine and oxytocin (the two male and female stimulators of feelings of emotional attachment). It’s both a male and female phenomenon that as length of a relationship increases, the plentihood of dopamine and oxytocin decrease.

However Brizendine shares a silver lining within the midst of this dark neurological cloud: “Anything that brings the two of you together --reading on the couch with her legs stretched across your knees, or watching TV with your heads resting together -- can produce a splash of (dopamine and oxytocin).”

A quick tip in particular for men: “Studies have found that a hug from a partner will produce an oxytocin rush in a woman's brain--but only if that hug lasts 20 seconds or more. And just about everything that falls under the general heading of 'foreplay' is likely to produce a similar effect.”

A quick warning in particular for women: “The effects of oxytocin can be incredibly disarming to a woman. Female animals injected with the stuff seem to throw caution to the wind and cuddle up with the first available male. And that is why, when women ask me for advice about men, I warn them, "Don't hug the guy unless you plan to trust him."

One story in particular stood out in this article…about a couple seeking marital aid.

In Brizendine’s words: “The woman--let's call her Jane--had virtually stopped having sex with her husband, whom we'll call Evan. They had both begun new jobs, and the hot wires that connected them had gradually gone cold. Jane never felt in the mood. Evan suspected she had a lover. Jane was thunderstruck. How could Evan imagine such a thing?”

“Never in the mood,” says Brizendine, is one of the most common complaints women bring to her office, and one of the easiest to fix. It's simply what happens when male and female brains – being so different -- miss the point with one another.

Brizendine explains: “It was natural for Evan, with his male brain bleating for sex once a minute, to assume that his wife had similar appetites that were being satisfied elsewhere. Jane had no idea that to the male brain, sex is as essential to a relationship as TALKING.”

The couple hashed out their problems in Brizendine’s office. When they returned two weeks later, their sex life was as hot as ever.

How?

The couple together had decided to stop referring to sex as "sex.”

Instead the husband and wife had good humouredly re-named sex as: "male communication."

Brizendine ended her “Men's Health” article by saying to all her male readers that she wished them “an abundance of male communication.”

I agree – and would like to add a note to the women readers out there – that I wish you all plenty of multiple male communication!

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What is the luxurious life?

"Luxury is not just about amassing quantity, it is about living life to the fullest," says Lorre White, "The Guru Of Luxury,” and CEO of White Light Consulting LLC, an international luxury marketing consulting company which serves the Ultra High Net Worth demographic.

Although White is in the know about some of the biggest extravagances in the world -- and literally out of this world -- like the first hotel room in outer space (available in 2012 for a fun-filled $4.2 million vacation), White insists: "You can also do luxury on budget. Luxury can be for everyone."

Here are 5 simple ways White suggests you bring luxury into your daily life...

1 Wear your favorite fragrance every day. It will make you smile.

2 Light a scented candle at dinner and again when you start to get ready for bed. Candles are the most affordable way to create a drastic change in your environmemt. Make it a daily ritual.

3 Instead of showering, take a warm, relaxing bath with your favorite foaming scent or bath oil. This is great to do individually or with your partner.

4 While bathing, drink a glass of wine or exotic tea or listen to relaxing music. The goal: Delight as many senses in one experience as possible.

5 Give yourself a little treat everyday….perhaps one piece of Fran’s fig chocolate ganauch. Remember to truly stop and be present in the moment.

For more Luxury On A Budget tips, check out White's site and podcasts at www.GuruOfLuxuryPodcast.com.

Is love still the same kind of love at any age? And if so, is heartbreak still the same kind of heartbreak at any age?

I became curious to find out when I received "30 Days to Getting over the Dork You Used to Call Your Boyfriend: A Heartbreak Handbook" written by Girlsense.com's advice columnist, Clea Hantman.

Clea's goal for her tween-something handbook: Teach young women how to deal with the pain of an icky Dork early on in their lives, so that perhaps they'll never need grown-up break up books when going through the angst of a yucky divorce!

After checking out her book, I definitely feel Clea's advice is restorative for gals of all ages -- and ironically might be especially helpful to the angst-ridden divorcing-set, because of Clea's playful writer's voice and super-fun ideas for re-loving your Dork-free life.

Here are 5 of Clea's many helpful tips:

Let it out. The idealized romance, the glowing, rose-tinged retrospect version of how fuzzy-warm the relationship used to be — well that needs to be said. And then it needs to be dissected like a dead frog and trashed.

Put time limits on how much you spew. Friend time shouldn’t be entirely spent on rehashing what’s already been said. Get out and get silly.

Anger is useful. It just cannot be directed at a human being. Clea suggests writing down on pieces of masking tape five things about the Dork which make you mad - then slapping the tape on the soles of your shoes. As you walk around you can dig your feet in, grind, stomp, really walk with a purpose.

Let’s get physical. There is so much scientific fact out there that states that exercise makes your mind happier and your body more peaceful so exercise is key even if it’s simple walks or joining a roller derby team.

Air guitar is good for the soul. Music has this incredible power to carry us as if on a wave through sets of emotion. And it can be a great way to express feelings that are otherwise impossible to say. It should be used wisely though. Limit the amount of wallowing cute-boy singer-songwriters.

Ultimately Cleas book recommends a whole lot of soul searching, discovering who you are, what you want/don’t want – which is indeed wise advice at any age.

Ever notice when change is served at a company, people don’t rush over -- plate in hand -- eagerly loading up?

No, the normal reaction is to stand still -- gripped with fear.

Far too many people translate the news of “change” as meaning “Oh no! I'm about to lose my job, my compensation, my influence, my expertise, my credibility, my seniority, my office, my friends, etc, etc”

But for many reasons -- paradoxically -- “lack of change” offers up a far higher risk – especially in today’s fast-moving, ever-shifting global marketplace.

Timothy Clark, in his new, wonderful book, "EPIC CHANGE: How to Lead Change in the Global Age," explains why change should be happily welcomed -- and offers practical tips to help you avoid the greater risk of standing still.

For example…

1. Own Your Career
Take complete ownership of your career development -- by consistently seeking out training, coaching, active learning, and annual reviews.

2. Consider Your Skills Like Technology
Professional skills today go through the same product life-cycle as technology: introduction, growth, maturity, and decline. Accept that you must abandon many of your skills as they become obsolete and re-learn new ones.

3. View the Organization As Configurable Parts
Agile, high-performing employees view organizations as dynamic systems with configurable parts. Instead of getting emotionally attached to the familiar, they stay focused on finding new ways to create value. When they see an organization is not performing well, they accept it's time to reconfigure some parts to create a better whole.

Is the glass ceiling becoming an anachronism?

This morning on my Sirius show BE HAPPY DAMMIT, I had on a wonderful panel of women -- representing a few generations -- a feisty/successful woman in her 20's, 30's, 40's and 50's.

The panel was pulled together for me by the 20's something representative -- Hannah Seligson -- and she blogged about it over at her column on dailycents.

Each woman panelist discussed what they felt were the biggest challenges facing women of their particular decade -- and just how much progress each believed we women are/aren't making!

Because it was such a complicated/interesting topic, we ran out of time just as things were heating up.

I promised my listeners I'd post information on my guests on my blog, so if they wanted to find out more they could read their books and/or websites.

Below is my distinguished panel...

20's Gal -- Hannah Seligson -- a career expert, journalist, and author based in New York City. Her work has appeared in The New York Post, The Boston Globe, The Daily News, Marie Claire, The Village Voice, and The Huffington Post. She is a monthly contributor to JobWeek, a nationally syndicated career section. Hannah’s first book, New Girl on the Job: Advice from the Trenches, a career guide for young women based on over a hundred interviews she conducted.

30's Gal -- Harleen Kahlon -- the CEO and Founder of Damsels In Success. She is a former lawyer and executive recruiter, and is a graduate of U.C. Berkeley and Yale Law School. Harleen is a firm believer in the idea that we create our own opportunities, and her vision for Damsels is that it should be a place where professional women are inspired to create theirs.

40's Gal -- Debra Condren, Ph.D. -- a psychologist, a business coach and career advisor, and is the Founder and Executive Director of the Women's Business Alliance. Dr. Condren received a U.S. Small Business Administration's "Women In Business Advocate of the Year" award in 2000. Her client roster includes a diverse list of Fortune 500 companies, entrepreneurs, and students between the ages of sixteen and sixty.

50's Gal -- Leslie Bennetts -- a contributing editor at Vanity Fair since 1988, writing on subjects that have ranged from movie stars to priest pedophilia, industrial pollution and U.S. anti-terrorism policy. She is the author of the Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving up Too Much. Prior to joining Vanity Fair, Bennetts spent fifteen years as a newspaper reporter. She started covering so-called “women’s issues” at The Philadelphia Bulletin in the early 1970’s, and has continued to write about women, marriage, families and parenting ever since. After five years at The Bulletin, where she won many awards, Bennetts moved to The New York Times -- and was the first woman ever to cover a presidential campaign for The Times.

Unlock Your Untapped Brilliance

Want to be more energized, innovative and successful?

In his new book "Surrounded by Geniuses," bestselling author Dr. Alan Gregerman shows how rediscovering your innate sense of curiosity can be your secret weapon in coming up with new ideas needed to solve pressing problems and create real business opportunities.

But... you have to get off your butt and out of your comfort zones to make it happen!

Here are his six simple actions to unlock your untapped brilliance today.

1. Expand your reading horizons. Start reading at least three new magazines that interest you and have absolutely nothing to do with work. Then broaden the array of books, websites and other sources of information that you explore.

2. Hit the road in search of new ideas. Take mini-excursions into the world around you to unlock fresh ideas and new ways of doing things. Visit museums, interesting neighborhoods, trendy shopping districts, world-class organizations and even performances that spark new ways of thinking.

3. Ask thought-provoking questions whenever you get the chance. Raise more “big” questions in every meeting you attend. Challenge yourself and your colleagues to question everything that matters to see if there’s a better way.

4. Become your customer’s best student. Hang out with customers and learn as much as you can about their world and the real challenges and opportunities they face. Then invite them to take shared journeys of discovery.

5. Make friends with unusual people. Talk to strangers from different fields whose work and ideas fascinate you to understand how others use their talent, passion and curiosity to unlock compelling value for “customers” they choose to serve.

6. Cast an even wider net in search of insight. Then look to nature, history, geography, the arts and the genius of other people and other cultures as an untapped source of great inspiration. Dare yourself to discover what others know so clearly and how it might apply to your world and the world of your customers.

What is a Go-Giver?

According to Bob Burg and John David Mann, co-authors of The Go-Giver, it’s that man or woman who has achieved great success by putting emphasis on giving - more than emphasis on getting.

Being a "go-giver" is not only a nice way to live . . . but very profitable, as well.

Burg and Mann use a parable/fable format to share their five laws of "go-giver" success that are not only easy to understand, but easy to implement.

They are:

THE LAW OF VALUE: Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value, than you take in payment. Guess what? Price and value are two different things! Your goal: Strive to provide value over and above the price/fee you charge. Your results: More people will desire to do more business with you.

THE LAW OF COMPENSATION: Your income is determined by how many people you serve -- and how well you serve them. When you touch many people's lives with lots of great value, your “bottom line” soars to the top.

THE LAW OF INFLUENCE: Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first. “All things being equal, people will do business with, and refer business to, those people they know, like and trust.” There’s no faster, more powerful or more effective way to elicit positive feelings than by constantly focusing on others' needs.

THE LAW OF AUTHENTICITY: The greatest gift you have to offer is yourself. All the technical skills, sales skills and even people skills are practically for naught if you are not your genuine self.

THE LAW OF RECEPTIVITY: The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving. In the same way that it’s just as important to breathe in as it is to breathe out, giving and receiving are simply two sides to the same wonderful coin. Be willing to receive. But always continue to give!

The Business of Blogging for Business

My friend Jonathan Fields has a wonderful blog always full of insightful information, written with a playful voice. So, the other morning over coffee I revealed my "crush" on his blog, and Jonathan generously shared helpful advice about blogging -- one of his tips being BLOG MORE REGULARLY...which I am now doing. (Thanks, Jonathan!)

Jonathan also gave me this short list of 5 small-business blogs which he says are "must reads" for anyone looking to not only stay in the loop, but discover a growing library of immensely usable tools! So here they are, for you all to benefit from as well!

1. Small Business Trends | Launched in the early days of blogging by former corporate lawyer turned technology CEO and, eventually, powerhouse blogger, Anita Campbell, this blog is updated daily with highly-practical, tips, software reviews, online tools and interviews.

2. Duct Tape Marketing | Rivaling Anita Campbell for time in the blogosphere, John Jantsch’s blog, drawing from his popula book by the same name, focuses on marketing and business-building techniques for small businesses, especially online. Recent additions include an interactive community called the Workbench.

3. How To Change The World | The blog of former Apple evangelist and now venture-capitalist and entrepreneur, Guy Kawasaki, you’ll find great profiles, breaking news, resources and opinions with a heavy emphasis on interactive entrepreneurship.

4. Dane Carlson’s Small Business Opportunties | Dane Carlson’s biz-opps blog is chock full of ideas and innovations, both for starting or buying businesses and taking existing businesses to the next level. Lots of profiles and reviews really draw you in.

5. Entrepreneur Daily | The blog for small-business magazine/website Entrepreneur.com, Entrepreneur Daily updates several times each day with small-biz tools, tips, and a healthy bit of news from around the world of entrepreneurship

BEWARE THE GLASS WALL!

A research study was performed on fish who were put into an aquarium with a glass wall down its middle.

Due to this glass wall, the fish grew up believing they could only swim half way across the aquarium, because if they ever tried to swim further, their little fishie noses would get smashed.

After a few months, the glass wall was removed.

Guess what?

The fish still did not swim to the other side of the aquarium.

We humans, with all our advanced consciousness, are often no better than those fishies.

We grow up with limiting beliefs, which we hold onto... and which then hold us back from getting all we want in our lives.... even if these limiting beliefs are imaginary.

For example.... If youre feeling like youre having a challenging time getting the healthy-love you want, the passionate-successful career you want.... the toned-buff body you want... thats because youre being held back by a leftover glass wall from your childhood... a glass wall which has long been removed, because, hey, that was then, this is NOW.

And NOW is the time to get over your limiting beliefs and get on with living your happiest, most love-filled, most productive life!

On Dec. 17th at 7pm at THE SOHO HOUSE in NYC I will help you do just that... by giving you the information which will lead to your transformation... in my new seminar called: MAKE 2008 YOUR BEST YEAR EVER, DAMMIT!

Be sure to bring your most troublesome problems and lamest excuses for not living the life you desire and deserve - and I will make sure you leave that seminar room empty handed of what's been weighing you down and keeping you back!

BONUS: FREE Moet Chandon Champers will be served .... because, hey, this is not only going to be your best year EVER... but the best seminar youve attended EVER!

UBER-BONUS: I will be picking 1 attendee from the audience to become a regular guest on my Sirius radio show, BE HAPPY DAMMIT. Twice a month for three months, I will coach you at the speed of NOW.... live on the airwaves. You dont even need to come into the studio. You just need to have a clear landline... and a clear headed determination to live the life you want, dammit. Oh, and morning coffee helps... as the show airs 8am to 9am EST!

SEMINAR DAY/TIME: Dec. 17th at 7pm

SEMINAR FEE: $35.00 by paypal up until Dec. 1st $40.00 Dec 1st through Dec. 16th, $45.00 at door

ADDRESS:SOHO HOUSE, 29-35 Ninth Ave (b/w 13th and 14th St)...in New York City, baby!

Click here to go to reserve your seat QUICKLY/EASILY through PAYPAL now! Just seek out the info on the LEFT COLUMN!

The Contagion Theory On Happiness

Have you ever noticed how being around nutsy/negative people can make you feel nutsy/negative?

Psychologists call this “emotional contagion” – and there’s even evolutionary reasons for why someone else’s curmudgeonly ways can infect you.

“The original form is the contagion of fear and alarm,” said Frans de Waal, a psychologist and primate expert at Atlanta’s Emory University. “You’re in a flock of birds. One bird suddenly takes off. You have no time to wait and see what’s going on. You take off, too. Otherwise, you’re lunch.”

Translation: Getting caught up in another’s negativity is a hard-wired survival mechanism.

“I have often noticed how primate groups in their entirety enter a similar mood,” de Waal said. “All of a sudden, all of them are playful, hopping around. Or all of them are grumpy. Or all of them are sleepy and settle down. In such cases, the mood contagion serves the function of synchronizing activities. The individual who doesn’t stay in tune with what everyone is doing will lose out, like the traveler who didn’t go the restroom when the bus stopped.”

Translation: Contagion theory of happiness also explains the powerful energy of “mob mentality” and why there’s a tendency for groups of people in a movie theater or concert to share a similar feeling for the move or concert.

Plus psychologists believe that “the contagion theory of happiness” is yet another form of our hard-wired mimicry we humans do – our instinctive human tendency to unconsciously imitate other people’s facial expressions, vocalizations, postures, and body movements.

For example, if someone scratches their nose, you might suddenly feel your nostrils twitch. Or if someone yawns and stretches and gets sleepy, you might yawn and feel more tired too.

Indeed, mimicry is such a strong foundation of our human emotional development that even at a mere 1-hour old, a newborn infant will be hard-wired to mimic a person's facial gestures.

Hence why you can smile at 1-hour old baby, and this 1-hour old baby will smile back!

Translation: Our built-in human system for mimicry, explains why we humans can transfer our good and bad moods to each other.

Recently The Journal of Applied Psychology offered up a study which showed the downer effects of a downer leader on a group. They took 189 volunteer undergraduates, divided them into 63 groups of 3, and told them they were taking part in a team-building exercise to put up a tent. Then a “leader” was chosen for each team, and shown either of video clip of a “Saturday Night Live” skits or a vignette on torture — to create either a positive/up beat mood or a negative/downer mood.

The result: If a leader was up, the team members’ moods rose. But if the leader was down, everyone became down.

Numerous other studies have also shown how when one person in a romantic coupling gets depressed, the other also becomes more depressed.

Psychologists believe this transfer of emotions is yet another form of empathy.

In London’s University College, psychologist Tonia Singer and colleagues used brain scans to explore empathy in 19 romantic couples. She hooked both individuals to brain scans. One partner in the couple was given a slight electric shock while the other partner watched. Each of their scans showed identical brain reactions. Although only one partner was shocked, both of the partner’s pain center lighted up - as if both had been jolted.

On a more happy note… Howard Friedman, a psychologist at University of California at Irvine thinks “emotional contagion” this is also why some people can move and inspire others to positive action – like a good coach or a powerful preacher – or a joyous/exuberant partner in a romantic coupling.

Friedman believes it’s because the happy person’s happy facial expression, happy voice, happy gestures and happy body movements all together conspire to transmit happy emotions to all those around the happy person!

YOUR ASSIGMENT: Today decide to be a HAPPINESS TRANSMITTER! Choose to be a happier person – and spread happiness around you. And choose to surround yourself more with happy people. With this in mind, think of a happy person you know, and invite them to do something fun with you. And...with this in mind, join my facebook group called “I BET I CAN FIND 1,000,000 HAPPY PEOPLE!”

A friend is someone who stabs you in the front!

Psssst...want to know a big secret for happiness?

Start having less secrets!

The more truthful you become with others about who you really are - and what you need and fear -- the happier you will become!

Laurie Gerber, a coach with the Handel Group, talked with me about how to truth your way to happiness on my Sirius show last week. She explained it like this: "If right now you are not telling someone the truth about a particular something, and you think you're being dishonest to spare their feelings, chances are you're being dishonest with yourself! Most people would rather know the truth. Most people would rather know they have spinach in their teeth - or the equivalent thereof in their life! The real meanness is in not being honest with people."

So, what are people honestly afraid of when they're afraid of speaking truthfully?

TRUE INTIMACY!

When you have gut honest conversations with people, you will always increase your intimacy with them. Sure you risk vulnerability -- but you also gain the opportunity for a closer bond!

"Being fake is not only exhausting behavior to keep up," says Laurie Gerber, "being fake is also lonely. It means nobody will ever get to know the real you!"

Another perk to truth-speaking: When you hear your truth out loud about your own secret behaviors, you wind up wanting to work harder to correct these behaviors which you're not proud of in your life!

Here are some pointers from Laurie Gerber on how to start speaking the truth more today:


1. If you're planning to tell someone the truth about how you feel about their behaviors, start with the premise that your POV is relative. Your truth about them is not necessarily THE truth.

2. If you're planning to open up about a secret part of your life, ask yourself why you've been hiding what you've been hiding. Write about this in a journal freely. It might help you to talk more honestly, if you've had a gut honest conversation with yourself first.

3. In either situation #1 or #2, when you go to have the gut truthful conversation, make sure enough time and full attention has been set aside. Set the context. Before you start blurting, tell the person up front that you want to share your experience or perception of something with them -- to bounce it around and hear their perspective. Tell them that you care about your relationship -- and that's why you are committed to speaking truthfully with them. For example you can say: "I am sorry I have not communicated this until now -- but I want to tell you how I feel about (fill in the blank)." Or.. "When I did (fill in the blank) or you did (fill in the blank) what it meant to me was (fill in the blank)." Or... "I have been hiding from asking you about (fill in the blank) -- or telling you the truth about (fill in the blank) because I am afraid if I bring it up you will think/feel (fill in the blank)."


Now go forth and be truthful today. You'll literally feel very happy that you did!

(You can hear A FREE PODCAST of my conversation with Laurie Gerber on BE HAPPY DAMMIT by clicking here!)

"A single conversation across the table from a wise man is worth a month's study of books." - Old Chinese Proverb

I'm a curious person. I've always enjoyed talking with taxi drivers and strangers on airplanes. One of my big beliefs in life is that you never know where you'll get your life changing insights. Even a jerk can teach you things. In fact... often it's your tormentors - more than your mentors - who teach you those biggie lessons you remember for life.

For example: "Yo! Nothing is ever as good - or as bad - as it first appears!"

Unfortunately both "Part A" and "Part B" of the above got drilled into my neurons far more from my tormentors than my mentors.

The good news... if you stay curious about this curvy, twisty, chaotic thing called life -- and keep your eyes open for insights - they will come from surprising places and unexpected people.

Once I was seated on an airplane next to a man who told me they were passionate about gardening.

"What's a super good gardening tip for me?" I asked curiously (although the only thing I'd ever grown in my life was an occasional onion in my vegetable drawer.)

"My number one gardening tip," said the man, "is to recognize that some plants and flowers are only meant to live a certain amount of time -- for a certain season -- and if you try to make them live longer, you will be a bad gardener."

Wow. What he said rang true for me about a business relationship I was in at the time which I needed to get out of. It was interesting how "the zen of gardening" also applied to "the zen of relationships."

The man went on to add, "Also, different plants have different needs for sunshine and water. Some need very little sunlight - thrive best in darkness - with only a little moisture. Others need a lot of light and feeding. Different plants all have different needs and speeds for growth. You must really know what each individual plant needs - and not treat them all the same."

Again I felt that Wow. This "zen of gardening" also applied to "the zen of relationships." It's always essential to get a pulse on an individuals needs -- read their instruction manuals very carefully!

Because I never know where "zen wisdom" might come from, I'm always open to having conversations with strangers. At parties, I especially love to have conversations with people who at first glance have nothing in common with me.

Your assisgnment:

Become a more curious person. During times of crises, get curious about the lesson to be learned!

During times of boredom in taxis, planes, and trains start a conversation.

You never know. Next time you're waiting in a long movie line, and start talking with the people in front of you -- the conversation you share with these strangers, might turn out to be more exciting and entertaining than the movie you're waiting to see.

Stop Staring at Metaphysical Alligators!

Do you keep threatening to pursue your truest passions – but can't seem to find the time, energy and courage to motivate?

I relate. Truly! I wasn't always a full-time writer. Over a decade ago I was a Sr. Vice President Creative Director in advertising, who was always threatening to quit my high-paying, high-stressing low-free-time job to pursue my passion for writing.

But I was like the girl who cried wolf. Always saying I was gonna quit—but not doing it.

Admittedly there was a huge part of me that was afraid.

Not just about the money angle. I was afraid to let go of a lovely fantasy about a parallel universe in which I existed as "Happy-Go-Lucky Author Girl."

I was afraid to potentially risk giving up this fantasy – in case my fantasy didn't come true.

Chogyam Trungpa wrote: "True fearlessness is not the reduction of fear; but going BEYOND fear…by fear-less we don't mean 'less fear' but 'beyond fear.'"

I knew I needed to get to this beyond-fear place – and here's how I did it.

You know how it's easier to walk a plank that's on solid ground, instead of one that's plunked above an alligator-infested lagoon -- because the fear of those yapping hungry alligators makes you less focused on what you desire?

The same is true with your career. You must avoid staring at your metaphorical-alligators, and instead stay focused on your supporting plank, which in careerland is composed of two strong fibers:

(1)Your confidence -- what you know you have going for you

(2) Your passion -- what know you really want

When I finally did quit my ad career, it was because I finally stopped staring at my metaphorical-alligators – which for me were:

"I'll never be a published book author! Heck, I've never even written one itty bitty magazine piece! Geez, what will I do for income if I fail – afterall, I have a child to support… MYSELF!"

Instead I focused on my supporting plank:

my confidence (in my writing-skills, discipline, persistence, resilience, optimism, meeting people, learning quickly, following-through) and my passion (my excitement to be a writer in a BIGtime way!)

YOUR ASSIGNMENT:

If you're stuck in a job you hate it's probably because you're staring at your metaphorical-alligators. Today re-focus on your supporting plank. Make a list of your areas of high self esteem and reasons for high passion. Whenever fear strikes, strike back with these lists!

Want to whip your career into submission? Clickeroo here...

REGRET is pain RE-LIVED instead of pain RELIEVED!

CONFESSION: There have been many times in my life that I’ve felt like an honorary member of the WHAT WAS I THINKING CLUB.

But instead of spending time regretting, regretting, regretting mistakes… I've always consciously decided to make sure I am getting, getting, getting lucky lessons to be learned.

Basically, I convince myself to view every "failure" as "fullure" - FULL of helpful new insights to be learned.

How about you?

When you feel like you've made a WHAT WAS I THINKING blunder, how much do you torture yourself thereafter?

I'm here today to remind you: Yo! Regret is pain RELIVED, instead of pain RELIEVED. You gotta learn your lesson, then move on!

Which brings me to an Inspiring Quickie Buddhist Tale...

A man was wandering in the desert and got bitten by a poisonous snake. Immediately, he started to regret taking this trip into the desert. He regretted not taking a different route. He regretted not looking down at the ground more as he walked.Meanwhile the helpful antidote formula to cure him of snake- poison bites remained in his knapsack …unused. He became so caught up in his regret that he didn’t have the clear-headedness to take positive action to remedy his problem. Indeed, he was so caught up in his regret, that yet another snake came along -- and so he got bitten twice – doubling the poison in his system. He died. End of story.

THE LESSON TO BE LEARNED: If you’ve recently been bitten by a Big Life Problem, your locus of focus should be 20% thinking about your problem, 80% thinking about your solution.

You must make the choice to become positively proactive, not negatively reactive.

Peacefulness of mind is a bigtime power.

Thinking thoughts about regret, blame, anger, and resentment will only create chaotic static in your head that will stop you from seeing clearly how to move forward productively.

So...today, right now, take inventory of all the events you regret and the people you resent…and consciously decide to forgive and forget -- both yourself and others.

BONUS BENEFIT: When you train your brain to consistently be more loving in its "thought-content," you not only become more focused and productive, you'll find you also wind up attracting more positive people and positive circumstances towards you!

Want more lessons to lessen pain and increase joy? Clickeroo here!

NEW JOBS FOR 2020

In my book BALLSY, I warn up front that the world is constantly changing - so don’t forget to change with it!

If you want to enjoy a career of extreme success, you must always be asking yourself: Due to all the technological and social change out there, are there now new materials, new fears, new problems, new needs, new desires -- all of which are creating new demands for new widgets and new services?

In summary: Your widget or service might be good… but in this speedily shifting world, good has a very, very short expiration date.

But there's some good news behind all this speedy change. Soon the world will be offering up some very exciting career options.

For example, here are 10 new job options for 2020, predicted by futurist Josh Calder, leader of the Global Lifestyles program at Social Technologies LLC, a research and consulting firm.

1. E-scrubber--Works to undo or minimize the indiscretions that people accumulate on the Web.
2. Deceptionist--Provides tech-enabled deception services for those wishing to disguise their activities.
3. Unrealtor--Creates virtual tourism, adventure, and retail destinations.
4. Realizer--Creates real versions of virtual objects for people, from grog tankards to sports cars.
5. Nano-decontaminator--Cleans up nanomaterials now being spread through the environment.
6. Genetic dietician--Creates diets tailored to people's individual genetic makeup.
7. Geoscaper--Makes corporate and private properties look attractive in Google Earth-style aerial views.
8. Eye pilot--Operates small, remotely piloted, camera-equipped aerial vehicles over war zones, disasters, and other locations of interest on behalf of news services, nongovernmental organizations, and private companies.
9. Sexbot controller--Many things can be done remotely. Not for the squeamish.
10. Unplugger--Counselor/mental health professional who helps wean people from excessive technology use.

I find some of what Calder lists to sound a wee bit like science fiction. And some of it to sound like job necessities for 2007. But what all these positions share in common are larger trends for transparency, virtualization, and outsourcing. And if you study his list further, you'll see that most of Calder's job listings involve new ways to manage information -- which is becoming more and more central to more and more careers.

Want to convince people to do and believe in whatever you want?

The above sounds good, huh?

But I got one better.

How would you like to convince triple the people to do and believe in whatever you want?

Brian Clark, creator of copyblogger.com, calls this the difference between being persuasive (good) and being truly influential (very, very, very good).

Brian obviously knows about being influential, because his blog is one of the top 40 in the world, according to Technorati.

Brian shared his tips on becoming a more influential blogger on my morning Sirius show BE HAPPY DAMMIT. I found what he said so spot-on, I wanted to share it in this forum, as well.

Below are my Karenesque speedy cliffnotes from Brian Clark. For the whole enchillado, definitely visit him at copyblogger.com.

QUICKY CLIFFNOTES FROM COPYBLOGGER.COM ON HOW TO CONVINCE TRIPLE THE PEOPLE TO DO AND BELIEVE IN WHATEVER YOU WANT:

1. Repetition

Brian warns that there’s both a good and evil side to repetition. To stay on the side of good, make your point in several ways. For example -- use an example. Or offer up a quote from a famous person. And repeat again in your grand finale summary.

2. Reasons Why

Brian reminds how we humans don’t like to be told things or asked to take action without a reasonable explanation.

3. Consistency

Brian reminds consistency implies high integrity. The lack of it infers instability and flightiness. So get your reader to agree with you up front about something simple, then keep making a strong and varied case.

4. Social Proof

Humans love to witness as many others hopping on the bandwagon before they go a-hopping. Hence testimonials and outside referrals work.

5. Comparisons

Metaphors, similes and analogies are according to Brian the influential blogger’s best friends.

6. Agitate and Solve

First, identify the problem. Then agitate the reader’s pain before offering your solution. Brian explains this is not about being sadistic - but empathic. Let the reader know you “get” them.

7. Prognosticate

Offer your reader a glimpse into their new, improved future if they go bandwagon a-hopping with you.

8. Go Tribal

Give someone a chance to be a part of a “cool” group — be that wealthy, hip, green, or even contrarian—and they’ll go bandwagon a-hopping!

9. Address Objections

Brian admits addressing every objection is tough. But your biggest arguments should be obvious. He also warns that if you think there are no objections, you’re in for a shock if your blog’s comments enabled.

10. Storytelling

Stories allow people to persuade themselves -- and that’s what it’s really all about.

Want to lose weight? Absolutely DON'T go on a diet!

I have a wait problem. I hate to wait. When I want something, I want it NOW.

My wait problem also applies to my need to lose weight problem.

When I want to lose weight, I want to lose it NOW.

But how?

I've discovered a method which speedily quickens up results -- and I'd love to share it with you!

I've created A NEW VOCABULARY MENU -- where I have changed the words I allow to enter and exit my mouth. In other words...I'm now firstly on a special Word Diet – beginning with banning the word “diet” -- because if you really want to get slim and healthier, you're not “on” a diet -- which implies going "off" the diet at some point. In fact, the word diet has a lot of negative associations. I hear that word and think: "LOTS OF PAIN AHEAD!"

So I renamed the healthier eating I'm doing as “DO IT PROGRAM" -- not a diet program -- because I'm really “doing it” -- and this new vocabulary feels more fun and inspiring!

Another word on MY NEW VOCABULARY MENU: “APPRECI-EAT.” This word is all about slowing down the eating and thereby tasting food more – so you’ll want to eat less. Studies show that if you eat more slowly, you allow your body the needed time to signal to your brain that you are full -- which is usually 20 minutes. So I no longer eat meals and snacks - I appreciEAT them!

More words on MY NEW VOCABULARY MENU: “F0RWARD” and “BACKWARD.” Every food one chooses to eat either moves you forward to your dream weight - or backwards to gaining more weight. So when I look at a food I ask myself: "Is this a forward food - or a backward food?"

More words from MY NEW VOCABULARY MENU: “THE OLD ME" and “THE NEW ME.” All your actions come from your identity. If you think: “I always overeat late at night.” Guess what? You do. If you think: “I’m the type of person who can resist chocolate -- the new me is great at resisting it -- the new me eats forward foods -- the old me ate backward foods!" Guess what? The new you will be very much going forwards to fab – instead of backwards to flab!

Another word on MY NEW VOCABULARY MENU: "WALLPOWER!" To hell with ordinary mere mortal willpower. When you have WALLPOWER, nothing will be able to break through your wall of commitment!

A new sentence on MY NEW VOCABULARY MENU: "INCREASING MY APPETITE FOR LIFE." If you want to be a slim, healthy person it's essential you swap the pleasure of food with life’s multitudinous other delights.

FACT: If you're presently overweight, it's because you're not being hungry enough about pursuing life’s other abundant pleasures – and are seeing mostly the pleasure of food.

FACT: If you want to lose weight you must make sure your appetite for life is far bigger than your appetite for mere food.

So… swap chips and salsa for salsa class! Stop eating! Start painting! Recognize the joy of taking photos lasts longer than the joy of ice cream!

Want to be your healthiest, slimmest self now, dammit? Read ENOUGH DAMMIT! Start by clicking here now!

The Paradoxical Commandments

1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

3. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

10. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

I just discovered the above Paradoxical Commandments by Dr. Kent Keith in researching for my BOUNCE BACK BOOK. I've invited the author to come on my Sirius show BE HAPPY DAMMIT -- and will definitely let you know when that will be.

If you have your favorite quotes which keep you inspired during challenging times, please share them below!

If you want to get into tremendous shape, you need to use the power of your mind, not just the power of your body.

As many of you know my trainer's Josh Margolis, who runs MIND OVER MATTER, with an interesting philosophy. Josh sent me the following -- and I found it so inspiring, I wanted to share it.

JOSH MARGOLIS SPEAKS:

Before you set out on that journey known as exercise, you must firstly recgonize that it is a journey -- not a destination. Secondly you must know WHY you are going on this journey! WHY are you waking up earlier to work out? WHY are you caring about pushing yourself past your comfort zone? WHY are you making this a commitment?

You have to be up front, honest and accountable with yourself BEFORE you begin this journey! After all, if you are not completely on board with your WHY, you won't have as much motivation to succeed.

Yes, if you want to get into tremendous shape, you need to use the power of your mind, not just the power of your body.

After all, there will be plenty of time along the journey when you will find yourself exhausted, busy, overwhelmed with other things to do -- and you will find yourself questioning: WHY do I need to take the time to work out? WHY is working out so important?

With your WHY in place, you'll be more willing too make those needed sacrifices and put in that extra effort.

So before you begin your journey, TODAY take that time to find your WHY.

I promise that when the time comes that you feel ready to give up -- as it will -- you will simply refer back to your WHY, and will find it much easier to keep your drive alive!

Break ups are tough - even JOB BREAK UPS!

And it’s just as hard for the breaker-upper boss as it is for the break-uppee employee.

With this in mind, Nancy Mindes, a NYC career coach (who calls herself a “Chief Audaciousness Officer”) offers up some bold practices for bosses to keep in mind to better prevent difficult job break ups from happening.

1. Create a detailed job description – or you’ll wind up with someone who lacks the key strengths you need.

2. Never hire someone quickly from a place of panic - just to get a body in the office. Remember: once you bring in the wrong person, it's very difficult to get them out.

3. Take the time to call past employers and google the potential employee. You won't regret it.

4. Delegate with very detailed direction – or you’ll wind up with missed deadlines and lousy results. Sometimes a “bad employee” is the result of bad instructions.

5. Do not give people too much autonomy – or you’ll wind up not knowing what's going on with your business – and might not find out until there’s a huge problem!

6. Do not under-delegate either – or you’ll take on too much yourself – and won’t be able to focus on what you do best.

7. If after you’ve hired a person, red flags are a-waving (sloppy deliverables, bad communication, attitude, lateness, etc) discuss the issues right away. Be direct. Give them a chance to improve. But remember: Some people’s problems will never go away – and keeping this employee around might cost you time, money, and business relationships!

8. In four words: HIRE SLOWLY. FIRE QUICKLY.

IMPORTANT TIME CHANGE ALERT!!

NOTE: The following TIME CHANGE ALERT applies to YOU.... whether you live in the East Coast or the West Coast...South Africa or Eastern Europe.

This is a TIME CHANGE ALERT that could save your life -- by making sure it's your best life.

This is a TIME CHANGE ALERT to remind you to live in the NOW.

Are you living in the NOW?

Studies have repeatedly shown that NOW is the best time of day to start that healthier diet, improve your love relationship, change your life for the absolute better!

Yes all of us humans, no matter what country we are in, live our happiest lives in he same time zone...THE TIME ZONE OF NOW.

Today be sure to set your awareness to the NOW.

Live NOW. Procrastinate LATER.

Ballsiness = Happiness

This morning I was driving to work with my boyfriend, when to the right of our car, we saw a Drake's Delivery Truck, painted with images of dancing pastries - including the infamous Drake's Coffee Cake.

My boyfriend holds up his coffee-to-go cup, and challenges, "Hey, Karen, why don't you ask the driver for a Drake's coffee cake for our coffees?"

Since I literally wrote the book on "Ballsy" I decide to do just that.

I roll down my window -- get the truck driver's attention -- point to my coffee-to-go cup, and shout, "Hey! Can you spare two coffee cakes for our coffees in here?"

The driver smiles and nods affirmatively.

He reaches over to his right, retrieves 2 coffee cakes, and defenestrates them at us.

(PERSONAL SIDE NOTE: Wow. I'm so happy I finally got to use that word "defenestrate" in my writing. I remember memorizing this word waaaay back when studying for my S.A.T.'s - and reading this recommended vocab word meant "to throw through a window." Immediately I wondered, "When the heck am I ever going to use THAT bizarre word?" Cut to 20 odd years later, on an odd morning...and voila: "Coffee Cake Defenestration occurs!)

With our coffee cakes in one hand, my beau and I wave a large appreciation "thanks" to the driver with our other free hands.

The driver beamed merrily.

Indeed all around us -- everyone in cars within a nearby Coffee Cake Defenestration radius was smiling joyously.

In talking about this a bit with my boyfriend, I realized that ballsy actions tend to create happy emotions.

When you risk and do things outside your norm, you tend to feel more alive -- more liberated - and this leads to more happiness in general.

If I look back at the aftermath of the many ballsy things I've done -- in my career -- and dating life -- I can absolutely remember feeling that adrenaline rush of glee coursing through my veins each time.

But this success formula is NOT simply a one-way thing where...

Ballsiness = Happiness

It also goes the other way around....

Happiness = Ballsiness

For example, this morning I was already in a happy state of mind driving to work with my beau -- which got me feeling feisty, frisky -- ballsy!

And if I look back at my state of mind BEFORE I did the various ballsy actions in my life, I also remember being in a happy/feisty/frisky mood.

The life lesson here?

The happier you are -- the ballsier you will be.

Indeed...in my career coaching I'm always recommending people try to do what they can to be overall happy people FIRST AND FOREMOST, if they want to score extreme success.

I say: Money doesn't bring you happiness. But happiness brings you money.

The happier you are, the more energy you have to jump over obstacles -- and the more ballsiness you have to take those leaps.

With this in mind, here's an important CAREER TIP FROM MY BOOK BALLSY:

"Consciously focus on the FUN - and NOT the fear!" Today...if you ARE feeling afraid to make a risky move, rile yourself into a fun frame of mind first. Force yourself to focus on the FUN of the action -- and NOT the fear of the action -- and do that ballsy thing you know you want to do! You'll literally be HAPPY you did!

JUNE 7th at 7pm - BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND - MY "GUT" EXTREME SUCCESS SEMINAR - NOW AT A HOT NEW LOCATION - NYC'S BOUTIQUE HEALTH CLUB/SPA: CLAY

Want to score extreme success?

Then you MUST recognize your BLIND SPOTS - that thing you do - or don't do - which leads you to make those dreaded "WHAT WAS I THINKING?!" business blunders...like:

Hiring the wrong assistant

Taking the wrong job

Waiting too long to do a presentation

Presenting a report too soon

Trusting the wrong person

Saying yes instead of no to a bid

Saying no instead of yes to a suggested innovation

No matter who you are - a CEO - or the assistant to a CEO - your "WHAT WAS I THINKING?" business blunders were ALL caused by the exact same problem! You did not listen to your intuitive GUT warning you: "YO! PROCEDE WITH CAUTION!"

Learning how to hone in on this important power of your GUT will absolutely increase your decision making abilities - and thereby help you to increase your success level to EXTREME SUCCESS!

Nowawadays it's more important than ever to trust your intuitive gut – because the world has speeded up. You have 4 enemies conspiring against you: TICK TOCK TICK TOCK. Learning how to be best trust your gut will help you make wiser/quicker decisions!

SO COME JOIN ME JUNE 7th at 7pm -- AND LEARN THE LATEST RESEARCH AND TECHNIQUES ON YOUR INTUITIVE GUT -- SO YOU CAN ENSURE YOU SCORE THE EXTREME SUCCESS YOU DESIRE AND DESERVE!

Where: The gorgeous CLAY SPA AND HEALTH CLUB

25 West 14th Street in NYC

Fee: $35.00

BONUS: 2 FREE TRIAL WEEKS AT CLAY IF YOU RSVP ASAP!

THE BONUS TO THIS BONUS: One of my intuitive GUT strengthening tips is to get you to RELAX, DAMMIT! And CLAY will help you relax a lot - through its cutting-edge fun exercise programs and massages!

Find out more about my best selling book GUT:HOW TO THINK FROM YOUR MIDDLE TO GET TO THE TOP by clicking here.

RSVP ASAP by clicking here.

BE HAPPY DAMMIT TIP

Every morning on my BE HAPPY DAMMIT sirius radio show, I start your day by making you write a TO BE LIST -- instead of a TO DO LIST.

But I take it easy on you. I only make you write one TO BE -- so you can truly focus on it.

A favorite “TO BE” : openminded.

Marcel Proust said: “The voyage of true discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes, but in seeing with new eyes.”

If you’re unhappy right now, you might NOT have to change your entire life -- just openmindedly view your life with “new eyes.”

It’s like this: Much of your view of your present reality is created due to your past experiences -- and the stubborn expectations and limited beliefs they’ve created – which block you from fully seeing your world with clarity.

Okay! Quick Buddhist tale to explain and inspire!

One day a very wealthy dad took his son on a trip to the country, to live a few days on the farm with a very poor family.

His goal: Teach his son how it was to be poor.

Upon return, the father asked his son, “So, what did you learn about what it means to be poor?”

The son answered, “I learned that we have one dog. They have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden. They have a creek with no end. We have imported lanterns. They have an abundance of stars at night. We have a small piece of land to live on. They have fields that go beyond our sight. We buy our food. They grow theirs. We have walls around our property. They have friends to protect them.”

The boy’s father was speechless.

Then the son added this final remark: “Yes, dad, you showed me how poor WE truly are.”

THE LESSON TO BE LEARNED: With an open mind – with “new eyes” -- you can create a new reality.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Today, I encourage you to stop reacting in the same old ways to the same old things which get you upset. Create a new reality by viewing your life with “new eyes.”

HAPPY DAMMIT SEMINAR - APRIL 18TH - NYC LEARNING ANNEX

Happiness tip#27: Sing your heart-ache out.

FACT: The Institute of Music, Health and Education has found that just five minutes of singing or humming can put you in a sunnier mood.

Your Happiness Assignment: When in the shower or bath, sing until your heart's content. Avoid songs once shared with an ex or lyrics on the maudlin side.

Some Guaranteed Musical Boosters I recommend: We will rock you – Queen; We are the champions – Queen; Emotional rescue – Rolling Stones; Simply the best – Tina Turner; Like a rolling stone – Bob Dylan; Respect – Aretha Franklin; Brass in pocket – Pretenders; Mustang sally – Wilson Pickett or the Commitments; These boots are made for walking - Nancy Sinatra; My Way - Frank Sinatra; Wind beneath my wings – Bette Midler; I will survive – Gloria Gaynor; Mocking bird – Carly Simon and James Taylor; Don’t worry Be happy – Bobby McFerrin; I can see clearly now - Bob Marley; Calling all angels – K.D. Lang; In my life – The Beatles; Who let the dogs out – Baha men; Banana boat song – Harry Belafonte; Girls just want to have fun – Cyndi Lauper!

If you live in NYC...come join me live -- and I will share all the latest empowering mood boosting research and tips to help you through challenging times -- at my Be Happy, Dammit seminar at THE LEARNING ANNEX on APRIL 18TH (Course 366CNY, Section A) from 7:00 PM to 8:30 PM. I promise I will help to perk up even the most cynical spirit - by sharing new research and techniques from psychology, biology, eastern and western philosophies, quantum physics, the Zen of Bazooka Joe.

Register by calling the New York Learning Annex office at (212) 371-0280...or click this linkerooni.

Having a hard time either finding love or staying in love?

Every relationship has 2 purposes:

1.THE PRACTICAL PURPOSE OF A RELATIONSHIP -- to simply have someone to share your life with. And duh...life is a lot more wonderful when you have a loving partner by your side. You double the good times. And hopefully halve the bad times. But as for those bad times -- they can be very challenging -- and at times feel impossible. And it is for this reason that we also need/have a HIGHER PURPOSE for a relationship...

Which is...?

2. THE HIGHER PURPOSE OF A RELATIONSHIP -- to learn lessons on how to become better able at loving! Think about that. Every relationship is actually here to serve to teach us how to become a more loving person -- teach us how to respond rightly/lovingly during those challenging times! And... I believe one of the big goals of a successful life is to LEARN HOW TO BEST LOVE OTHERS! Another big goal: LEARN HOW TO BEST RECEIVE LOVE! Yes -- receiving love is often difficult for many people. They have blockades to allowing happiness and love to flow through their lives and hearts. Well, that is until they get "The Clunk" (AKA: The Life Lesson!) -- which shows them that they have blockades to love -- so they can finally figure out (duh!) they have to work on unblocking their blockades -- because it is due to their damn blockades -- and not merely/solely due to their partner -- that they are so unhappy with their love life! A good relationship will do just that -- clunk you/teach you how to finally see your blockades to love -- so you can fix those blockades and allow more love to flow through your life -- so you can give and receive love at its utmost highest level! With this in mind...all relationship problems are actually secretly vehicles to help you discover what you need to work on within yourself to keep love in your heart. This higher purpose of a relationship is also about learning to pay more attention to all the good in your relationship -- even during the bad -- to learn how to stay a loving person even when challenged! Too many of us don't even seem to notice the good in our partner -- or FORGET HOW TO BE LOVING TO OUR PARTNER -- when the practical purpose's road starts to get a bit bumpy. THE HIGHER PURPOSE OF A RELATIONSHIP is here to remind us: "Yo! You must strive to always treat people at your highest, most loving level if you want the highest level love and happiness in your life!"

Basically the practical purpose of a relationship is obvious to most people. BUT... The higher purpose of a relationship is not.

I wanted to put all this into print for you -- SMACK in your face -- so it might become more obvious as you go about your weekend!

I truly do believe we are all here to learn how to best love and be loved.

I truly do believe that the truly successful life is one which has "learning how to best love and be loved" as its ultimate goal.

And this applies not only with our spouses/parmours... but friends and family members too.

How much love do you presently allow to flow in your life?

How can you get better at giving and receiving love?

Want to hear more love tips? Listen to a free BE HAPPY DAMMIT sirius radio show podcast on love -- for free -- by clicking here.

THE INSIDE SCOOP ON TIKI BARBER'S FIRST TODAY SHOW SEGMENT!

Tiki Barber spent the afternoon in my apartment doing some heavy petting -- of my little dog, Maxine.

Yes, the man is not only an incredible athlete, brilliant math/physics major from his college days, fabulous dresser (down to his 400 thread count socks) he's a got a sweet side which is not to be denied. Tiki played very warmly with Maxine -- as we readied up to tape a segment for THE TODAY SHOW.

Which brings me to....

I am excited to announce that I am Tiki Barber's first interview -- along with Marcus Buckingham -- for a TODAY SHOW piece about Marcus' new book GO:PUT YOUR STREGNTHS TO WORK -- in which I spoke in a counter-talk to Marcus' book -- about the importance of also focusing on your weaknesses -- your core pain truth -- your "Kryptonite" -- if you want to rise up from your career plateau.

This Tiki Barber premiere TODAY SHOW segment will be airing some time in mid-April. I will update here on the exact day and time.

But let it be known...I was very impressed by Tiki Barber. When it comes to focusing on Tiki's big stregnths he has many to choose from. Besides his obvious athletic prowess, math skills and fashion sense, I discovered he's also a devoted husband and adoring father. He even writes kids' books.

In fact, actually, I didn't see any weaknesses/Kryptonite in Tiki Barber at all -- well, except perhaps for his weakness/Kryptonite factor for small dogs, like my little Maxine.

HAPPINESS TIPS -- plucked fresh from my BE HAPPY DAMMIT sirius radio show!

They say money can't buy happiness.

They is right -- but only half right.

You can maybe snag some happiness if you buy "experiences" rather than things.

It's like this...

German scholar Stefan Klein -- author of “The Science of Happiness” -- says his research shows...

“Things per se cannot bring you happiness at all. It is only the 'experience' of possessing something which can trigger the emotion of happiness."

Meaning?

When a new possession does trigger happiness, it is actually only triggering the "new experience" of having a new thing, like a new, bigger car, for example. It's the experiecing of the newness of the car you're feeling -- not the object itself. Once the new car is NOT new to you anymore, the experience of owning this object fades, and so too will your happiness.

The solution?

Invest more of your moola and time in experiences like vacations -- dinners with loved ones -- films - museum visits -- strolls along the beach -- sport activities -- any/all events and happenings which will bring you longterm happy memories!

Harvard University social psychologist Daniel Gilbert --NYTimes best selling author of “Stumbling on Happiness” -- agrees.

Gilbert pithily explains the happiness perks of happy experiences like this...

"Goods tarnish over time. Experiences, on the other hand, can get better as you remember them -- especially if you're one of the many people who tend to embellish when remembering your past -- which many people are!"

My guests who offered positive happy experiences:

Francine Segan, award winning cookbook author of many cookbooks including THE OPERA LOVER'S COOKBOOK -- and recent nominee for James Beard award

Ceslie Armstrong, founder of the fabulous entertaining and informative CESLIE TV

Adam Walden, President of GEN ART -- a terrific organization which brings you the hottest in fashion, film, art, photography -- you name it

Social Diva, an amazing social networking organization

Lisa Goldberg of Sapa,a sexy/sleek/indulgent restaurant --- with a conscience -- holding an upcoming celebrity-waitered fundrasier dinner for Lou Gehrig disease

Want more happiness tips -- told to you LIVE?

Listen to my free, free, free BE HAPPY DAMMIT radio sample podcasts, snipped fresh from the airwaves of my daily drivetime SIRIUS show, on Lime Channel 114 by clicking this linkerooni here!

HEAR ALL ABOUT THE POWER OF NICE -- AT MY NEW PODCAST LIBRARY!

Good news if you're nice! Nice guys and gals finish FIRST -- when it comes to health, happiness, money, success, better friendship bonds -- you name it.

Hear all about the good stuff in store for nice people -- on a now posted BE HAPPY DAMMIT radio sample podcast, from my daily drivetime SIRIUS show, on Lime Channel 114.

Plus there are lots of other FREE podcasts now up here at the "be happy dammit podcast library". to sample and enjoy!

Bon listening appetit!