Kids Shock MTV Researchers With The Bizarre Things Which Make them Happy! (For Example, Parents Are Actually Cool!)

MTV hired Andy Hines of Social Technologies to research what makes US youth (age 12–24) happy.

Last week I interviewed Andy on my daily drivetime Sirius show BE HAPPY DAMMIT, and Andy admitted he was shocked by some of what was revealed.

In particular Andy predicted today's MTV generation would be more annoyed with their “helicopter parents” than they actually wound up being.

Here are some of his surprising stats:

78% of today's kids say that talking with family members made them feel frequently or occasionally happier.

73% of kids say that their relationship with their parents makes them happy.

80% of those who say they are “very happy” with their parents say they are also happier with life in general.

Nearly half of the respondents say at least one of their parents is a hero.

73% say that their parents are involved in their lives about the right amount.

Shocking, huh -- how today's youth -- who seem so overly concerned with being cool -- and also seem like cynicism is uber-cool -- would then fess up how spending time with family is a cool thing to do...!

"Hardly the stuff of rebels!" admits Andy.

Indeed, kids today seem to adore their parents so much, they also fess up to looking forward to getting married - and are even optimistic about marriage.

90% say they think it is likely that they will be married to the same person their whole life.

85% say they believe getting married will make them happy.

Other than family, Hines says the 3 other big happiness boosters were friendship, faith, and technology.

Which brings me to another surprising stat: kids "chill out" differently than adults.

I fess up that I find it relaxing to turn off my damn cellphone for a few hours.

Not so with kids.

For them a popular definition of "unhappiness" is "being without technology" -- with 46% of today's kids saying that they NEVER turn off their cell phone when they choose to chill out -- that would only stress them out MORE.

For more on this research study listen to the interview on my posted podcast.

Want to make a special tween in your life happy? Check out my tween empowerment book, GIRL WONDERS.

Girl talk vs Guy Talk! Is there a Difference?

Psssst... Wanna know who gossips more – girls or guys?

According to a recent research study of cellphone users (performed by the Social Issues Research Centre) men are the bigger gossipers!

Yes…spread the word!

33 % of men confessed to gossip every day - or almost every day -- compared with a lesser 26 % of women.

For the record, the study defined gossip as "chatty talk among friends" and "the process of informally communicating value-laden information about members of a social setting."

Yup – that counts as gossip to me!

And for those of you who stubbornly can't believers that guys love to dish as much - if not more than - the ladies – there were also 3 other recent studies – one at the University of Virginia, one at Northeastern University in Boston, and one at University of Wisconsin – which all confirmed gossip is pretty much a gender-neutral urge!

So here’s more gossip about gossip:

1. 2/3 rds of all cell conversations were reported to be a form of gossip – everything from who is doing what with whom; who is 'in' and who is 'out' and why; how to deal with difficult social situations; problems with lovers, family, friends, colleagues and neighbors.

2. Women were more likely than men to gossip mainly with family and girlfriends.

3. Men dished mostly with work colleagues, their spouse/partner, or female friends.

4. Men revealed they found it easier to gossip with women than men.

5. Male and female gossip has been shown to sound different. Women use more animated tones, more detail and prefer more interactive feedback.

6. Only about 5% of gossip-time is devoted to criticism.

7. Another 5 % is devoted to asking for or giving advice on difficult personal social situations.

8. The other 90% of gossip is focused on 'who is doing what with whom'

9. In daily conversation, males only discussed high-brow' important' subjects (aka: politics, work, art, academic matters, etc.) only 0-5 % of the time. However, when women were present,this number upped to 15-20%! Researchers proposed men went more
high-brow around the ladies to impress the ladies!

9. Men spent more time talking about themselves – with 2/3rds of talk being about themselves and their own affairs. Meanwhile women talked about themselves only 1/3rd of the time!

Why do we gossip?

According to psychologist Robin Dunbar we’re evolutionary hard- wired for it. Gossip is the human equivalent of the 'social grooming' seen among our primate cousins -- where they pick out nits and twigs from each other’s fur, to bond and feel close.

Hmmm…. think about that phrase “to keep in touch”! It sorta sounds like the definition of animals' Nit-n-Twig Plucking, doesn’t it?

Here’s another theory on gossip. According to psychologist Geoffrey Miller, gossip evolved as a helpful courtship device – as the human equivalent of a peacock tail. Basically, gossip is what we humans use to compete for and attract sexual partners, because it’s how we 'advertise' or 'self-promote' our social status, values, and intelligence. Gossip is our Great Do I Bond Or Not Bond Determinator! It's what reveals which behaviors you and other people find acceptable -- or unacceptable -- and thereby if you find your gossiper or gossipee acceptable or unacceptable for further socialization purposes!

With this in mind, if you want to become a far more popular member of any group (aka your office, an organization, a local community) just start to listen more carefully to this group’s critical gossip. You’ll quickly discover people’s boundaries and rules -- and thereby know what to do -- or not do -- to make sure you're a welcomed member of this group!

And gossip has even been shown to improve health! Just as ‘social grooming’ between primates stimulates endorphins, making animals more relaxed – the 'vocal grooming' we call gossip also been researched to relax humans, and lower blood pressure.

It’s sort of funny when you think about the odd evolution of gossip since its stone age origins.

In the last few decades, with modern, busy urban life the way it is, scattering families and friends, and busying people up with far too much to do, there’s been a veritable epidemic of social isolation – with little time to indulge in this vocal-grooming called gossip.

Sure, for a while we had the the cosiness of gossip over the garden fence. As well as those satisfying quickie hits of 'Hello, nice day isn't it?' as we passed our friends and family in the local village.

But as modern world speeded us up and separated us apart, for a long while even those simple and comforting friendly 'Hello, nice day isn't it?' had fallen by the way side.

Now…enter the space-age technology of mobile cellphones… and finally we’re back once again to enjoying our daily “vocal- grooming” patterns -- with the same ease and frequency of “constant touch” not shared together since stone-age times!

Thank you, modern cell phone, for helping to scratch our stone age itch once again!

ARE YOU HOLDING A WINNING HAND OF CARDS...OR A LOSING HAND OF CARDS?

You know that old aphorism: "It's WHO you know."

FALSE!

Extreme success is NOT about who you know!

It's about how INTIMATELY you know them!

A pile of business cards will do nothing for your career -
unless you know how to really connect with people in an authentic way which leads to growth for your business!

On June 29th at 8am - 9am, EST, Keith Ferrazzi, best selling author of the famed networking bible, NEVER EAT ALONE, will be offering you the opportunity to get his one-on-one relationship-building advice - LIVE - on my Sirius radio show, Be Happy Dammit.

Yes I'm opening up the phonelines to you - so you can talk with Keith Ferrazzi - one of the top business coaches and consultants in the world.

Just call my studio at 866 LIME 114 between 8am and 9am EST on June 29th - and Keith Ferrazzi will be taking your questions and giving you tailored advice on how to deepen your business relationships to achieve greater success!

Some business myths we'll be discussing - and debunking:

TRUE OR FALSE?

Relying on other people means you're weak.

FALSE!

Rugged individualism doesn't work in the business world! If you want to truly excel, you cannot do it alone.

TRUE OR FALSE?

It's good to be vulnerable in business - wear your heart on your business shirt sleeve.

TRUE!

It's ESSENTIAL to open up and be vulnerable around people – so you can truly connect and create a deeper business bond.

You may wonder: "Hey, what about the subsequent risk of people hurting me?"

Keith and I have different views on this - and I'm sure you do, too!

So listen in - and CALL in at 866 LIME 114!

TRUE OR FALSE?

If you're generous with others in business, helping everyone in their careers, they will walk all over you.

FALSE!

If you want to be successful, try making others successful!

Disagree? Call us and tell us why at 866 LIME 114.

REMEMBER: On June 29th DON'T EAT BREAKFAST ALONE! Join NEVER EAT ALONE author Keith Ferrazzi in an eye-opening, career-morphing discussion - and learn effective techniques which will absolutely help you reach your career goals sooner!

DATE: JUNE 29TH

TIME: 8AM - 9AM EST - that's East Coast time!

PLACE: Be Happy Dammit Sirius radio, on Lime Channel 114

STUDIO#: 866 LIME 114

WRITE IN YOUR CALENDARS TODAY!

Quick: Why do you want to make lots of money?

Your most-likely answer: to be happy, dammit!

But does more money really lead to more happiness?

"Standard of living has increased dramatically and happiness has increased not at all, and in some cases has diminished slightly," says Professor Daniel Kahneman of the University of Princeton.

Interestingly... Bhutan, a remote Himalayan kingdom, has consistently remained one of the happier places in our world – even though it is not close to being one of the richest.

Their secret?

Their government creates policies based on Gross National Happiness.

This includes:

1.Banning advertising – because the science of happiness shows advertising is a major cause of unhappiness – creating envy by making people feel “less well-off.”

2.Pushing for more exercise and healthier eating. In fact the Bhutan government actually discourages junk food – along with cigarettes and alcohol – recognizing the healthier the body, the happier the mind!

The idea that politics should be about creating "the greatest happiness of the greatest number" is actually not new. It goes back to Jeremy Bentham, an 18th century philosopher, who tried to get politicians to create policies which upped citizen’s general happiness levels.

Recently Bentham’s ideas have been dusted off and revisited in Britain, where the Prime Minister's Strategy Unit held a "Life Satisfaction" seminar and considered the following concepts:

1.creating a happiness index

2.teaching people about happiness

3.encouraging more support for volunteering

4.creating a "more leisured work-life balance"

5.creating higher taxes for the rich – so there’d be less of a division between the very rich and very poor -- and thereby less envy and its accompanying depression affects.

Britain’s Richard Layard, author of HAPPINESS: LESSONS FOR A NEW SCIENCE, is also actively pushing the government to immediately employ another 10,000 therapists – so as to increase the happiness of citizens!

With all this in mind, I want you to stop overly-focusing on how much money you’re making, and re-focus on how much happiness you’re making!

MY BETTER THAN CASH IN THE BANK LIST OF THINGS TO CASH IN ON:

1.Avoid poison envy. Consistently studies show comparison kills happiness. Consciously re-focus on what you have. Try to end your day with "A 3 Blessings List" - recognizing three things which went well - and why!

2.Spend loving time with friends and family – for both more happiness and more health! Get this: Studies show friendship wards off germs! Just as stress triggers ill health, the greater your friendships, the greater the protective effect against ill health!

3. Live a life with meaning and purpose. How? Appreciate how what you do in your job, and contribute to your friends, family and community -- all matters! Look for new ways to give back to the people around you. Altruism is actually an act of self-interest. Studies consistently show that people who are involved with volunteerism are a happier group.

4.Keep trying to use your “signature strength” in new ways. It will increase your self esteem – which increases happiness. Plus you’ll be tapping into 3 other big happiness boosters: newness, challenge, consistent growth!