Donny Deutsche Has Great Cleavage!

I'm back from THE TODAY SHOW. For those who missed the segment on "CLEAVAGE IN THE WORKPLACE," Donny Deutsche unbuttoned his shirt to test out what kind of distraction it would be for Meredith and me to see his cleavage -- and well, to be honest, it was distracting -- because he's got a nice set of pecs, that Donny!

As a result I now have "cleavage empathy" for all the men in the workplace who have to be surrounded by busty business babes. It IS hard to concentrate around naked skin!

On a serious note... I received a lot of interesting and supportive emails from you all last night, helping to get me primed for today's show - and I appreciate ALL of them! Thank you, thank you! I really do love it when you write to me (karen@notsalmon.com). As a writer when you write a book/newsletter, it's like wondering if trees falling in the forest when nobody is there to hear them make any noise. In my office in front of my computer ratatatating away, I don't get to hear the "noise" I make with my finished my product. When you write to me, I get to hear the noise! And I love hearing how much you're on the same page -- or different page - from the pages I write! So keep those emails coming!

BONUS BLOG INFO:

While preparing for THE TODAY SHOW, I found some very interesting studies -- about the power of attractiveness in general at the office -- which wasn't 100% on topic this morning, but on a pertinent tangeant.

In one study, Yale psychologist Marianne LaFrance found that medium-length hair on a woman was researched to be the best for communicating "intelligence" at the workplace. Hair which was too long and sexy made women look less smart and professional. Ditto for hair which was too short and boyish.

In another study by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, researchers found that there's a "pretty premium" - with beautiful people tending to earn 5% more an hour than "their less comely colleagues." Plus, another study also showed that the wage differential for obesity seems to be limited to "white women." Of this group, those considered "obese" in terms of their body mass index (BMI) in both 1981 and 1988 earned 17% less than women within their recommended BMI range!

Although men don't let weight or hair weigh them down on their rise up that career ladder, their height can stop them from reaching up as far as they'd like. Economists have also discovered a "height premium" among white men, with a 1.8% increase in wages for every additional inch of height over the national median.

In a word: yeesh!

I guess we live in a world which is very much about "packaging." Many people only look at the packaging of others, rather than what's inside. And in today's speedy world, snap judgments are probably getting even quicker than ever.

The lesson learned: It's up to you to decide how you want to harness the above research studies, but recognize unfair or not -- and it IS more UNFAIR than not -- how you package yourself at the office will have an influence on how others view you.

Feel free to express your views on all "these superficiality rewards and penalities" below....

Women Of The World: Use Your Cleavage Power Responsibly!

This Monday morning -- Oct. 29th -- at 8am I will be on THE TODAY SHOW – talking with Donny Deutsche and Meredith Vieira – about cleavage in the workplace.

The question posed: What are the rules and regulations for bringing a loaded cleavage into the office with you?

First, let me state up front that I think it’s an evolutionary step forward for all of womankind that we business women can now dress at least somewhat femininely at the office.

As recently as a mere decade ago, a woman used to feel that to succeed in business she had to imitate men – and even more foolishly imitate stupid, obnoxious men – and even more foolishly, a woman even thought she had to dress like a man to succeed.

Personally, I’ve never believed a woman has to make a choice:

1. feminine

2. successful

Pick only one of the above.

I’ve always been a believer that a woman should be her full feminine self at the office.

I’m into what I call “feminine-ism” – which unlike hardcore feminism – is about being feminine and powerful both - in one tasty spoonful.

But -- with that said -- I also think there’s a definite moderation point with cleavage -- a balance between dressing-like-a-man-in-drag and dressing like a stripper!

A business woman must keep in mind that too much exposed boobage can swing back around and kick her in the butt.

Basically, at a certain point exposed cleavage stops making a woman more appealing and persuasive – and starts detracting and distracting from her professionalism.

Of course there’s more freedom of cleavage expression depending upon the business you are in. Creative fields – like advertising, fashion, pr – tend to be more liberal in their views of cleavage – and how much cleavage should be liberally viewed. Law firms, poltical fields, and financial offices are more conservative.

The general rule across the board: Dress for the people who pay you! Humans are attracted to familiars -- people who remind them of themselves. There's even a word for this psychological tendency: mimesis. So, mirror your employer’s dress-code needs -- while still having a dash of your own self-expression.

Emphasis on dash – not FLASH! You can’t be flashing those boobs all over the place if you want to be taken seriously.

And let’s be honest here! Chances are you know in your heart – right beneath that cleavage – if you’re overexposing yourself.

It’s like pornography versus art.You know the difference when you see it. Well, if you’re honest with yourself, you know the difference between pornographic cleavage at the office – and artistic cleavage at the office.

And if you don’t feel you do, then keep the following in mind: “the medium cleavage is the best message.”

And this is actually scientifically researched – at the University of Central Florida – where researchers put together a study to discover the affect of a woman’s cleavage on people.

They videotaped the same actress giving the same speech – each time with a different breast size and cleavage exposure… ranging from A to D. Participants then viewed one of the A, B, C or D cup-sized videos and rated the actress on her professionalism. The majority of males perceived the actress to be most professional when she had a medium cup breast size -- whereas females were generally not influenced by the actress’ breast size at all.

Another interesting highlight from this Central Florida study -- the actress herself had different reactions to her own blossoming bosom.

As her cup-size began to runneth over, the actress felt more self-conscious about her breasts - and thereby more worried about her performance.

So if you’re a woman who’s showing too much cleavage, you might not only be creating a dizzying affect on the people around you, but on yourself – because you might make yourself extra self-conscious.

Ok… So what is the lesson to be learned?

I think flaunting too much cleavage at the office can often be about over-compensating – trying to make up for some needed self-confidence in other aspects of insecurity in professional life.

Basically, many women who expose their cleavage are trying to accentuate their positives -- in hopes of distracting from their negatives.

THE BIG IRONY: If you look like you're trying too hard -- you will be perceived as less confident and thereby be taken less seriously and be less liked.

However -- if dressing a bit on the sexy side is your natural personality -- your authentic self – you probably will be able to get away with showing a little skin -- because people will sense you feel comfortable in your skin.

Oh...and one last point. The TODAY SHOW producer told me that in their man and woman on the street interviews on this subject, some of the women expressed anger at women who show cleavage at the office.

I thought this was interesting -- and in thinking about it, I understand that reaction a bit. I think we business women feel stressed out as it is, trying to make it in what for the most part is still a man’s business world. And I think the business environment gets even more stressful for a woman, when she worries the office reward system includes a beauty pageant bikini contest.

The world of business should be about rewarding a women fairly for talent, productivity and discipline – not by how she looks in a sweater.

The good news: In today's post-Sex In The City World, we women can dress more casually and femininely at the office -- instead of like men-in-drag. The bad news -- some women are out there abusing their cleavage power in hopes of influencing key men with decision making power.

So... if you're a business woman reading this newsletter -- remember -- cleavage IS power – and you must be aware of using your cleavage power responsibly!