How Much is That in "Dog Money"? (A Tail Of Two Price Tags)

Want to increase your chances of getting that job, getting that raise, getting that discount?

I have an informative tale to tell… which begins with a tiny tail – the one attached to my very cute little dog Maxine – a miniature terrier -- my better 1/8th.

I often “multi-task” walking Maxine with doing errands – especially errands where I know there might be long lines – like going to the bank or Fedex. I figure not only might Maxine benefit from some good heavy petting -- but -- all those bored and impatient people can get some good licks in – and the playful warmth exchanged is very win/win.

Last month I had a major computer meltdown -- and so invited Maxine along on my excursion to the local computer store, knowing they always have lines so long, they actually give out “bakery tickets” to keep track of the entourage.

About forty minutes passed before my number was called – but thankfully for me (and Steve -- the very exhausted computer attendant who had called my number) my waiting time had passed in good spirits -- because Maxine had made many friends – all of whom she’d generously introduced me to.

I arrived at a very fatigued Steve’s desk in a playful mood – rather than the typical foul customer mood more expectant of someone who’s computer had crashed -- and they had to wait nearly an hour -- only to be told an exorbitant price to amend their laptop situation.

I tried to bargain with Steve.

But Steve kept telling me “no” – then “NO” – in sort of the same stern voice I use to tell Maxine “NO” when she wants to partake of the dinner my boyfriend and I are sharing.

But…because I was in a playful mood, rather than give up, I adlibbed a joke.

I held up Maxine, so her sweet puppy dog eyes stared Steve directly in his dog-tired face, and said: “Maybe you can say no to a discount for me – but can you look Maxine directly in her eyes and tell her we’re not getting a discount?”

Steve laughed.

Heartily.

The next thing I knew, Maxine had snagged me a bonus 15% off discount.

And Steve’s mood had risen far more than 15%. He actually began smiling -- bigtime.

The lesson here?

No, it’s not to bring a dog with you the next time you buy a car or negotiate your salary.

It’s to bring a sense of humor wherever you go!

Much of my success in business is due to using humor – and so below are some helpful tips which you can use verbatim -- or re-write to fit your personality – all of which will remind you of the powerful perks of staying in a perky mood.

The truth of the matter: There’s far too much stress and sadness in the world.

According to Marci Shmimoff, author the N.Y.Times best seller, HAPPY FOR NO REASON, “The World Health Organization predicts that by 20/20, depression will be second only to heart disease in terms of global burden of illness.”

Meaning? Even if using some of the humorous ideas below don’t snag you that discount/job/raise – at least you’re out there having fun – and trying to make this world a happier place.

5 LAUGH YOUR WAY TO THE BANK BUSINESS TIPS:

1. SALARY NEGOTIATION… I once used this humorous quip, during a tough salary negotiation. The client said, “Karen, this is a negotiation. There’s supposed to be some give and take.” I teased: “Fine. You give. And I’ll take.” Guess what? That’s exactly what happened.

2. TRYING TO GET IN THE DOOR… Recently I had this humor quip used on me – and it worked. A PR person kept pitching me their client for my Sirius show. On about her seventh email, she switched gears, and began her email with this line: “I feel like one of those dolls that keeps bouncing back up again and again … but…” I laughed at her joke – re-read her pitch more attentively – and booked her guest. Later I used her exact email intro quip on someone I'd be unsuccessful at getting in to see. Guess what? I got the meeting.

3. INTERVIEW….When I was in advertising, I used this joke once at the end of an interview – and it clinched my job offer. At the end of the interview, the exec asked me, “Okay. Do you have any questions for me?” I adlibbed: “Um…yes. Can you name all seven of the seven dwarves?” The exec laughed, then tried to list them. As he did I quipped, “You know I have a theory that whichever dwarf you name first says something about you.” (He’d said “HAPPY” first. Maybe my surreal answer had put him in this state...?) Then the exec tried to list all seven of those seven dwarves, but couldn’t. So I quipped, “I also have a theory -- it’s revealing which dwarf’s name you can’t remember.” (As it turned out, neither he nor I could remember all seven dwarves. And so my job offer came with a strange code word. My headhunter called to tell me: “The exec said you got the job and to tell you ‘Sneezy.’" My guess: This humorous quip worked for a few reasons. (1) It was a creative director job I was interviewing for -- so I was actually giving him proof of my creativity. (2) All resumes being equal, people are so yearning for fun at work, they'd rather hire the fun/playful person. (3) Their ad agency was more of an "edgy" agency. This humorous quip might not have boded so well if I'd be interviewing at a bank. (4) It's boring interviewing people. I snapped the exec out of his interview trance -- and so I not only stood out in the crowd -- I changed his energy state -- and so he associated more positive emotions with me. Note: This adlib was completely by accident. I too was bored with interviewing -- and was yearning to pep things up. I did not go in purposefully with this answer -- but hey, if it worked with me, feel free to try it for yourself -- if the "job offer" fits this jokey response.)

4. AVOIDING A DIFFICULT QUESTION: Often people ask me inappropriate questions – like: “Do you mind if I ask you how much money you got for an advance on that book deal?” My answer: “I don’t mind you asking. I just mind me answering.” I find it closes down this uncomfortable conversation in a warm manner.

5. WARNING: EVEN A COMEDIAN KNOWS TO TEST HIS AUDIENCE AND DO A FEW WARM UP JOKES…With this in mind, I always begin EVERY phonecall I make with: “Is now a good time to talk?” If someone is in a frantic mood, it’s important to know before you begin talking. After all, it won’t matter how fabulous your product is or how adorable you might be, if someone’s mindset is on OFF. Plus, I also know to test out my humor slowly and raise the “edginess” of it slowly. Know thy audience -- before you quip to outrageously!

Do you have a story where humor bred success? If so, please share it below.

And if you're having trouble getting yourself into a humorous mood, please check out my book HOW TO BE HAPPY DAMMIT.