Donny Deutsche Has Great Cleavage!
I'm back from THE TODAY SHOW. For those who missed the segment on "CLEAVAGE IN THE WORKPLACE," Donny Deutsche unbuttoned his shirt to test out what kind of distraction it would be for Meredith and me to see his cleavage -- and well, to be honest, it was distracting -- because he's got a nice set of pecs, that Donny!
As a result I now have "cleavage empathy" for all the men in the workplace who have to be surrounded by busty business babes. It IS hard to concentrate around naked skin!
On a serious note... I received a lot of interesting and supportive emails from you all last night, helping to get me primed for today's show - and I appreciate ALL of them! Thank you, thank you! I really do love it when you write to me (karen@notsalmon.com). As a writer when you write a book/newsletter, it's like wondering if trees falling in the forest when nobody is there to hear them make any noise. In my office in front of my computer ratatatating away, I don't get to hear the "noise" I make with my finished my product. When you write to me, I get to hear the noise! And I love hearing how much you're on the same page -- or different page - from the pages I write! So keep those emails coming!
BONUS BLOG INFO:
While preparing for THE TODAY SHOW, I found some very interesting studies -- about the power of attractiveness in general at the office -- which wasn't 100% on topic this morning, but on a pertinent tangeant.
In one study, Yale psychologist Marianne LaFrance found that medium-length hair on a woman was researched to be the best for communicating "intelligence" at the workplace. Hair which was too long and sexy made women look less smart and professional. Ditto for hair which was too short and boyish.
In another study by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, researchers found that there's a "pretty premium" - with beautiful people tending to earn 5% more an hour than "their less comely colleagues." Plus, another study also showed that the wage differential for obesity seems to be limited to "white women." Of this group, those considered "obese" in terms of their body mass index (BMI) in both 1981 and 1988 earned 17% less than women within their recommended BMI range!
Although men don't let weight or hair weigh them down on their rise up that career ladder, their height can stop them from reaching up as far as they'd like. Economists have also discovered a "height premium" among white men, with a 1.8% increase in wages for every additional inch of height over the national median.
In a word: yeesh!
I guess we live in a world which is very much about "packaging." Many people only look at the packaging of others, rather than what's inside. And in today's speedy world, snap judgments are probably getting even quicker than ever.
The lesson learned: It's up to you to decide how you want to harness the above research studies, but recognize unfair or not -- and it IS more UNFAIR than not -- how you package yourself at the office will have an influence on how others view you.
Feel free to express your views on all "these superficiality rewards and penalities" below....
Labels: beauty premium, business tips, cleavage, Donny Deutsche, obesity
posted by KAREN SALMANSOHN at 8:49 AM
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9 Comments:
Karen,
I'm glad you sent the email yesterday about your appearance on the Today Show this AM. I was a little late for work because I stayed home to watch it. Not that I'm a complete boob man, but I am a disciple of your happiness wisdom.
I think it went off very well. There wasn't enough time to give the subject its due, but the discussion was lively, and the message positive.
Congratulations!
Ferd. Toledo, OH.
I just signed up with your newsletter yesterday so I didn't know about the Today Show. But just as I turned the tube on to catch the weather - there you were being introduced. I loved that you really tried to keep them on point and give some real data, since a discussion about cleavage and size and it's pros and cons does push buttons. I particular loved your statement "use your cleavage responsibly." Great job!
Judith George
Reel Invitations
NYC
I have to say that I am not shocked by these statistics. I see the superficiality everyday in my office. Things like, "I hate skinny people," "You make me sick, losing that much weight," "You must have a lot of free time on your hands to make your hair look that good," and the like bounce around constantly in my office. It's sickening really. If you look too good, be ready for the hellish onslaught of...ahem..."compliments."
But outside of my department, looking the part and not trying too hard will get you far...mostly because it's a male-dominated or "secure"-female-dominated company.
I'm constantly reminding myself that I don't need to live up to (or down to) their standards unless that's what I truly want for myself. How will I ever be happy (dammit!) if I chase their goals or try to constantly please them? I choose what's important to me and stick to my guns (and have more fun because of it).
I wish I could have seen your Today Show appearance, but my mornings start a few hours before then! (I totally agree with your "responsible use" statement though!)
Hi Karen. Just read Cleavage Power and am excited to see this segment. I have it on my DVR for later before I watch Dancing With the Stars (talk about cleavage!!!). I think the world of YOU and couldn't think of someone more perfect to tackle this great topic. I agree with your thoughts and appreciate the research you shared.
Having natural cleavage I truly believe that using common sense is key with regard to physical appearance and style savvy. Having class is equally important. Showing cleavage is not really appropriate no matter what industry. I believe in dressing for success and exemplifying self confidence in the professional world. There is a time and place to show your assets. You can't choose your breast size (well some do!) but you can choose the way you dress and present yourself. You are in control of you. You decide how you want to look when. Women are kidding themselves if they do not think men are looking. Everyone is looking - men and women alike. We are all checking each other out at work and everywhere.
With regard to the street interviews I believe that women are angry because they are possibly jealous. There is much too much emphasis on the size of breasts. Women should be proud of whatever they were born with. Women come in all shapes and sizes - breasts too. I hate buttons popping and bras showing. What happened to good taste? Recently Janet Jackson was on Regis and Kelly and Jeff Probst was guest co-host. Janet Jackson was wearing a black bra that was revealed. Jeff stared and asked if it was the look. She said it was. He was definitely distracted. Okay - she's a celebrity - different rules? I think plenty of viewers weren't thrilled with how she looked on morning television including me and I appreciate a sense of style and fashion. It was offensive, tacky and a showy display seeking attention. Hard to take her seriously and that goes for any woman that flaunts it.
A woman should look in the mirror every day and decide how she wants to share herself. Books are unfortunately judged by their covers. Exuding sexy and trashy are two different things. You don't have to have an open blouse or tight clothes to be noticed. Dress smart. You can show your curves. Don't give it all away. Mystery is much more exciting. Class sells. Use common sense. Embrace being a woman - smart, talented, fun, funny, giving - and sex appeal will shine through and hopefully the acknowledgment earned and rewards gained.
Karen's blog posts and radio show always inspire me. She offers a smart, eloquent, unique perspective to living life. Thank you Karen.
I watch Donny's The Big Idea and hope to be a guest of his some day soon. I had the great privilege of being on Karen's great radio show with my husband and business partner Robert Allen. Wedding Podcast Network www.weddingpodcastnetwork.com is the next big thing in bridal media. We are wedding talk radio at its best.
These are my late night ramblings. Thanks for listening.
Holli Ehrlich
Co-founder, Producer
Wedding Podcast Network
www.weddingpodcastnetwork.com
Great tips. One additional point: substantial cleavage could well enhance attendance and punctuality at work.
Jonathan
Good morning and great job on the show. It was an interesting conversation. I do believe that women just have to use their common sense - and we all have it. Women who use cleavage to get ahead are just like those who sleep their way to the top. These are the women that don't have confidence in their intellectual abilities and use sex as power. I don't think there is changing that mindset. These women need to empower themselves.
Hopefully women who use sex as power watched that segment and a lightbulb might go off and they'll become more confident over time.
Congrats on all your work and continued success. Best, Debbie
Dear Karen!
I love your new word for female power -- feminine-ism! But, forgive me if I tell you that I bristle at your choice of the word "hardcore feminism" as its opposite. I am sure you did not mean to minimize the hard work of feminists that struggled hard for your many freedoms. It was tough to get the vote, to get equal pay for women, to get Title Nine sports -- to get men with a stronghold on all power to recognize the rights of women. The pendulum swings and we can now relax a bit and enjoy our femininity.
Language is a funny thing -- talk about powerful!! -- and you are in an important position when you use it. I know you weigh every word and do all you can to ensure your thoughts are well-expressed. But in language and in thought, I ask you to be careful not to compartmentalize feminists and try to see your efforts as a continuation of theirs. Without "hardcore feminists", it is likely that you and I both would be making dinner and washing dishes in some man's home, happy to have a roof over our heads and worried if our one means of support -- our husband -- will ever leave us.
Keep up the good work, Karen. I love all your feminine strength. You are smart and sweet and thoughtful — to say nothing of being such a good writer!
I hope you have a lovely week — and continue to have a lovely life as a woman.
Yours truly,
Harriet
HI Karen
Great stuff to debate. Are these studies looking to establish these as causes or merely signs that can result in individuals creating negative self fulfilling prophecies and learn to become victims?
Be Happy Now
Chris Coffey
www.ChristopherCoffey.com
Hi Karen,
First, I wanted to write and let you know that when YOU write there is always someone reading. We are definitely here waiting for your next burst of intelligence to deposit into our emails. I very much enjoy your writings. So, please write to me if you feel as though no one else is out there. J
Secondly, about the cleavage. Unfortunately, I had to miss the show on TV. Darn! I have noticed over the past two years especially, that cleavage has gotten out of hand in some areas. Of course, at my office, those who don’t have cleavage have made a few snide comments about those who do. Personally, I have always felt that great exposure of cleavage is a woman advertising for companionship or needing something. For example, the only time my wife shows off her cleavage is when she wants to get my attention and later ask me (or tell me) of something she would like to have or do.
So, I have to agree! Some women know how to use the power of cleavage and most men like it. I’ve even noticed that quite a few women like it too!
Thanks for the write up on this topic.
Joe Downing
President
The Most Amazing Thing On Earth!
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