career leap
1. NEVER wear your heart on your business shirt sleeve. Know: anything said "in private" can easily be taken public. In fact, backstabbers often try to gather personal secrets and controversial professional views -- so as to stock up undermining ammo. Saying less will protect you more.
2. If your firm is undergoing big changes, keep an extra look-out in your rearview mirror. Desperation brings out latent backstabbing tendencies. A normally kind colleague might suddenly bend over backstabbing-wards, so as to hold onto their job or receive necessary resources.
3. Those who walk softly and confidently, can still carry a big knife. Translation: Supervisors can backstab as frequently as colleagues. Be on the alert: your boss might be kissing up the ladder while attacking you down below.
4. Don't remove yourself from the grapevine. Become a fellow grape. If the backstabber knows you keep your ears and eyes open to office politics, they may think twice before stabbing you.
5. Good deeds can actually help you go un-punished. If you become known for doing favors for people, you’ll add to “Your Political Capital” -- plus, create a more positive place to work.
6. Love thy neighbor -- and try to pick thy neighborhood. Okay, admittedly, you can’t always pick who you work with -- but whenever possible, try to surround yourself with the people you most trust.
7. Make sure you have friends not ONLY in HIGH places. Don’t just work to create good relationships with your boss and colleagues, but also with secretaries, assistants -- even janitors. You never know who knows -- and says -- what.
8. If stabbed, quickly bring the offending “knife” to the backstabber -- and get them to fess up. Say something like: "If you have a problem with me, let’s resolve it now, because we need to work together in a healthy way to create the most productive work environment. So together let’s figure out how to ensure this problem doesn’t repeat itself.” If the backstabber is your boss, demand you create “clarification procedures” for fixing the problem that are put on record somewhere. If the backstabber is a colleague, not only confront the offender, but request a private meeting with your boss -- and show them the offending “knife evidence” in a calm, rational way. Ask your boss for advice on how to become a member of “The Backstabbed Protection Program,” so as to get your boss involved in putting your complaint on record.
In summary: If you’ve been backstabbed, know that a combo of “the bright light of clarity” along with “the spotlight of public record” can help melt most knives.
Labels: be happy dammit, business tips, career success, career tips, Karen Salmansohn, office backstabbing
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4 Comments:
I wonder how you're suppose to balance Tip 1 (NEVER wear your heart on your business shirt sleeve) with Keith Ferrazzi's philosophy of being open and vulnerable as a way of growing intimacy in a relationship.
Personally, I handle it by being clear of where I stand on things... and being able to defend that perspective with anyone who cares to discuss the topic.
What are your thoughts?
~ mel
Melvin Rajnesh Ram
CEO, Volcanic Internet Marketing
Direct: 916 743 9369
Email: melvin@volcanicmarketing.com
Openness is a defense against backstabbing because you're always facing forward.
"[P]ersonal secrets and controversial professional views" are a bit different from being "open and vulnerable." Anything that is "open" is by definition no longer a secret. But if there are things that could be damaging to you professionally, then obviously you should not be open about them. Controversial professional views I would define as "he's the worst manager in the department" or "the board is clueless about our industry", not "My view (widely known) is that we need to reexamine our strategy" or "I have said many times that every manager needs to be held to a higher standard".
Keith Ferrazzi and I will be talking about this very complicated topic on my Sirius Radio show Be Happy Dammit on Friday June 29th. You should call in to the studio and ask questions to us live at 866 LIME 114! Actually Keith and I differ a bit on this subject so the conversation should get mighty interesting!
A colleague & I are being backstabbed by two other colleagues and it's been a tough month. My boss created the situation and fosters it, but doesn't know that he did or doesn't care.
I don't think you can have more than a surface relationship with someone who is backstabbing you, but you can keep a smile on your face and "good morning" on your lips just to irk them and stay true to who you are.
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