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Living in the past is like driving forward while staring in the rear view mirror.     Believing is seeing.     Be an over-fright success story.     One's actions convince louder than one's words.     Make progress. Make new mistakes.     All work and no play makes Jill want to reach for the Prozac.     The purpose of your life is to find the purpose of your life. It doesn't matter how fast you get there if you're heading in the wrong direction.     If at first you don't succeed, you're doing something stupid.     You're nobody until somebody hates you.     Behind every successful woman is someone who pissed her off.     To get where you need to go you must first see who you really are.     Be a warrior, not a worrier.     Be a winner, not a whiner.     If the coyote had stopped to catch his breath, he might have caught the roadrunner.     A pack of puppies led by a pitbull will always be feared more than a pack of pitbulls led by a puppy.     Brainpower is as important as horsepower. Read, read, read!     You should always pick a job for its passion value not cash-in value.     Don't let a blame preoccupation ruin your occupation.     It's always better to go for longterm greed over short term greed.     A shortcut is often the longest distance between two points.     Time is money...and time wasters are money wasters.     Don't wait to make heaps and heaps of cash to have heaps and heaps of fun.     Every member of the Fortune 500 Club could also be a member of the Misfortune 500 Club.     Money doesn't bring you true happiness...but happiness can bring you true money. If you love what you do, the money will come.     Whatever business you're in you're in the people business.     Fail Faster. Succeed faster.     Behind every successful woman is someone who pissed her off.     Follow the fuscia brick road.   Failure is in many ways like "fullure" - it is always full of lessons to be learned.     Believe in a laughter life.     Don't let your convictions become your restrictions.     Invest in "Fresh Air Fun." Take a walk outside once a day.     If you want your body to be smoking, you've got to stop smoking.     Sometimes, all you gotta do is ask. Duh.     Taking no action is an action. Duh.     Happiness is not about what happens to you -- but about how you choose to respond to what happens.     Comedy = tragedy + 3 months and/or 3 margaritas!     Practice that tongue twister "NO" today.     Take the fat out of your fate. Slim down your schedule to what matters.     It's not just what you know...but what you do with what you know.     The grass is greener on the other side - until you get there and see it's astroturf.     When you grow - you often outgrow.     The only constant is change.     You are a human being, not a human was or a human will be.     Self honesty is the only path to happiness.     Sometimes we're "mad at" someone whom we should merely be "sad at."     Be so proactive you're preactive.     Fast doesn't always last.     Love is a boomerang. What have you and give away is what you get back.     Fear of commitment: it could happen to you...or someone you can't love.     Saying difficult things now is better than fixing even more difficult problems later.     It is better to have loved and lost - than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life.     It is better to have loved and lost - and had some really amazing hot sex - than never to have lived and loved at all.     A man is not a project. A man is a man. And a project is a project.     It's better to have a short bad relationship than a long bad relationship.     It's worth it to hold out for a soul mate and not settle for a cellmate.     Assess breeds success.     Turn all bad experiences into good inperiences - take them in fully, and change in a positive way.    
 

Thursday, May 24, 2007

career leap


1. NEVER wear your heart on your business shirt sleeve. Know: anything said "in private" can easily be taken public. In fact, backstabbers often try to gather personal secrets and controversial professional views -- so as to stock up undermining ammo. Saying less will protect you more.

2. If your firm is undergoing big changes, keep an extra look-out in your rearview mirror. Desperation brings out latent backstabbing tendencies. A normally kind colleague might suddenly bend over backstabbing-wards, so as to hold onto their job or receive necessary resources.

3. Those who walk softly and confidently, can still carry a big knife. Translation: Supervisors can backstab as frequently as colleagues. Be on the alert: your boss might be kissing up the ladder while attacking you down below.

4. Don't remove yourself from the grapevine. Become a fellow grape. If the backstabber knows you keep your ears and eyes open to office politics, they may think twice before stabbing you.

5. Good deeds can actually help you go un-punished. If you become known for doing favors for people, you’ll add to “Your Political Capital” -- plus, create a more positive place to work.

6. Love thy neighbor -- and try to pick thy neighborhood. Okay, admittedly, you can’t always pick who you work with -- but whenever possible, try to surround yourself with the people you most trust.

7. Make sure you have friends not ONLY in HIGH places. Don’t just work to create good relationships with your boss and colleagues, but also with secretaries, assistants -- even janitors. You never know who knows -- and says -- what.

8. If stabbed, quickly bring the offending “knife” to the backstabber -- and get them to fess up. Say something like: "If you have a problem with me, let’s resolve it now, because we need to work together in a healthy way to create the most productive work environment. So together let’s figure out how to ensure this problem doesn’t repeat itself.” If the backstabber is your boss, demand you create “clarification procedures” for fixing the problem that are put on record somewhere. If the backstabber is a colleague, not only confront the offender, but request a private meeting with your boss -- and show them the offending “knife evidence” in a calm, rational way. Ask your boss for advice on how to become a member of “The Backstabbed Protection Program,” so as to get your boss involved in putting your complaint on record.

In summary: If you’ve been backstabbed, know that a combo of “the bright light of clarity” along with “the spotlight of public record” can help melt most knives.

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4 Comments:

Anonymous Melvin Ram said...

I wonder how you're suppose to balance Tip 1 (NEVER wear your heart on your business shirt sleeve) with Keith Ferrazzi's philosophy of being open and vulnerable as a way of growing intimacy in a relationship.

Personally, I handle it by being clear of where I stand on things... and being able to defend that perspective with anyone who cares to discuss the topic.

What are your thoughts?

~ mel

Melvin Rajnesh Ram
CEO, Volcanic Internet Marketing
Direct: 916 743 9369
Email: melvin@volcanicmarketing.com

7:04 PM  
Anonymous Carl L said...

Openness is a defense against backstabbing because you're always facing forward.

"[P]ersonal secrets and controversial professional views" are a bit different from being "open and vulnerable." Anything that is "open" is by definition no longer a secret. But if there are things that could be damaging to you professionally, then obviously you should not be open about them. Controversial professional views I would define as "he's the worst manager in the department" or "the board is clueless about our industry", not "My view (widely known) is that we need to reexamine our strategy" or "I have said many times that every manager needs to be held to a higher standard".

8:12 PM  
Blogger KAREN SALMANSOHN said...

Keith Ferrazzi and I will be talking about this very complicated topic on my Sirius Radio show Be Happy Dammit on Friday June 29th. You should call in to the studio and ask questions to us live at 866 LIME 114! Actually Keith and I differ a bit on this subject so the conversation should get mighty interesting!

8:30 PM  
Anonymous Kristin Conner said...

A colleague & I are being backstabbed by two other colleagues and it's been a tough month. My boss created the situation and fosters it, but doesn't know that he did or doesn't care.

I don't think you can have more than a surface relationship with someone who is backstabbing you, but you can keep a smile on your face and "good morning" on your lips just to irk them and stay true to who you are.

11:10 PM  

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