"Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life" -Bertolt Brecht

My father is dying.

It feels surreal to type that sentence.

And after typing those words, it begins to finally feel real.

We are taught in this culture to deny death.

Indeed, talking about death is considered a rather morbid conversation to lure someone into.

Plus, it’s as if we secretly fear we might “catch death” indirectly -- simply talking about it!

But now, as I prepare for the sad potentiality of my father’s death, I find myself becoming more aware of the importance of talking about death – openly -- very openly – with others.

I confess at first I felt awkward starting conversations about my father and his illness – and in thinking about why this might be – I remembered back to a quick sort of funny story.

A QUICK SORT OF FUNNY STORY: My initial inspiration for writing HOW TO BE HAPPY DAMMIT came from reading Sogyal Rinpoche’s “THE TIBETAN BOOK OF LIVING AND DYING.” I remember when I initially read this book I actually skipped the passages about “dying” – completely. I thought (get this!) those sections about death did NOT apply to me! Afterall, I was healthy. My family was healthy. I didn’t need to read about dying. Then one night on a whim, I began to skim through those very death passages – and cracked up. Much of what Rinpoche wrote about in these sections was written for the healthy and the vibrant – to warn us NOT to live with denial about death – because death absolutely came with a lifetime guarantee! And the sooner we healthy and vibrant folks could recognize that we are not invincible, the sooner we might use our energy to enjoy our lives to their utmost.

I picked up Rinpoche’s book again this weekend while I was visiting my father in the hospital and read Rinpoche’s passages on dying once again. So much of what he wrote makes so much sense.

He warns us not to become “unconscious living corpses.” Meaning? If we’re not careful, we can sleepwalk through our lives – afraid to feel our deepest feelings – afraid to risk going for our truest desires.

He describes a Western tendency called “active laziness” – our urgent need to cram up our lives with compulsive unimportant activities – leaving little leftover time to confront our most important issues. He jokingly re-names all the petty projects which we call our “responsibilities” -- as our “irresponsiblities” -- because they stop us from finding the time to do what matters most.

All of this reminded me of a favorite Bertolt Brecht quote: "Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life."

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Today look at your daily list of “responsibilities” and gauge honestly how many of them are in truth “irresponsibilites”? Ask yourself how you might boldly and truthfully edit down your “to do” list -- to make sure you find the time for your “what matters most to do” list!

ps: We’ve all had life experiences that have impacted us. I welcome you to bring your thoughts and life lessons to my blog to share it with me and the notsalmon community....