SAYING MORE "NO" CAN GET YOU MORE "YES"

“Much of my success has come because I’ve recognized there’s a strategic art to a well placed ‘no’ in negotiations,” says Michael Alvear, infamous TV show host of UK’s popular SEX INSPECTORS series on HBO, and author of MEN ARE PIGS, BUT WE LOVE BACON.

A QUICKIE EXAMPLE OF THE POWER OF “NO”:

A big national magazine asked Michael to write a sex column, but to write it at a rate that didn’t match his requirements. He turned them down, saying: “Sorry. That’s my going rate. I’d love to work with you, and when the economics are aligned, and your budgets can meet my rates, it would be an honor to work for you. I love your publication. And I’m sure our paths will cross again, and I hope they do.”

Sure enough, three months later Michael received a call saying they agreed to hire him at his specified rates.

“You need to take a long range view of how you position yourself in the marketplace,” says Michael. “And sometimes you have to sacrifice the shortterm gain for the longrange benefits – of how you insist your value will be viewed. Saying ‘no’ in business works a bit like saying ‘no’ in a relationship. The person who says ‘no’ is the one with the power. When you’re expecting to hear a ‘yes’ and you’re told a ‘no’ it often makes people want you all the more.”

With that said, there are also 6 rules for saying ‘no’ to get a ‘yes’:

1. Before any negotiation, create in your mind a scaffolding around what you perceive should be your value in the marketplace, and commit to protecting your value.

2. During negotiation, create a space for the other person to step up and meet your value by giving them some wiggle room. Start too high, or play around with rising incentives.

3. Remember that every negotiation is part courtship. Tell them how good they look, why you like them, make them feel appreciated and special.

4.If they’d don’t come up to meet your value, don’t slag them off. Be respectful. Use language that lets them know you very much want to keep the door open.

5. Be willing to keep the longrange in mind over the shortrange by acceping there's a chance if you walk away, they won’t come back.

6. If they don’t contact you within 6 – 9 months, send them an update about you which shows them your value substantiated in the marketplace – a glowing PR piece, an update about a new product you've created, a listing of new cool clients that brought you in, or an announcement about some new aspect of your skills/product. Re-tempt and re-seduce with proof of your extreme desirability.