Do opposites REPEL? Similars ATTRACT?

I'm back... with trait#2 of 10: REACTIVITY STYLES.

And…as with all of these 10 traits, the first step to discovering your best match, is to find out how YOU measure up.

ARE YOU BIG TIME REACTIVITY?

People who are reactive are very aware of their feelings – and tend to experience intense emotions. When they have a conflict, their immediate response is to openly and instantaneously express all views. They believe that this instantant expression is a fundamental part of being “genuine.”

ARE YOU SMALL TIME REACTIVITY?

People who are low in reactivity tend to take extreme pride in their ability to manage both their internal and external reactions to conflict. They believe instantaneous and total expression of emotions is destructive, and it’s thereby wiser to wait before speaking about upsetting issue...and sometimes withhold some of the full truth about their feelings.

TWO SIMILARS: BIG TIME REACTIVITY

Two highly reactive people will tend to form a partnership that is very passionate and highly expressive. It will be challenging but essential for this duo to find a way to constructively communicate during conflict without allowing their frustrations to reach levels of irreversible division. With this in mind, there’s a big risk that these partners will not be able to find a way to manage their emotions and resolve conflict in a mutually agreeable way, and so this partnership will often be short-lived.

IN SUMMARY:

These SIMILARS REPEL. There’s some hope for success….if both partners agree to create a shared system to tame initial stormy knee-jerk-you’re-a-jerk responses.

TWO SIMILARS: SMALL TIME REACTIVITY

Two people low in reactivity are apt to enjoy a peaceful partnership. However, their calm demeanor might be a result of quashed feelings. If these true emotions are never expressed, they might later dangerously emerge as passive aggressive anger, unexpected blowups or total stonewalling. When and if these people choose to completely shut down, so will the relationship.

IN SUMMARY:

These SIMILARS REPEL. There’s some hope for this duo, if they can learn to view the expression of repressed heartfelt emotion as a positive source for intimacy and passion.

OPPOSITES:

The dynamic between a highly reactive person and a non-reactive person can yield many benefits during conflict. The non-reactive person would likely use their own calm demeanor to prevent arguments from escalating. The reactive person would be able to express him or herself knowing that their partner would balance this energy and manage the intensity of their division.

IN SUMMARY:

These OPPOSITES ATTRACT.