Do opposites repel and similars attract?

trait#3 of 10: nurturing styles

Some people believe that opposites attract – but often the opposite is true. It all depends on the characteric value in question. Are we talking about communication styles, reactivity styles, socialness styles, etc? When it comes to nurturing styles, below you’ll find some helpful insights on whether or not you’re better off with someone who is opposite or similar to you. And…the first step to discovering your best match, is to find out what kind of a nurturer YOU are.

BIG TIME NURTURERS:
People who are high on nurturing are often found helping their friends move apartments, bringing over the chicken soup, setting people up on blind dates, meeting for quick cups of coffee and sympathy, coaching folks to ask for that raise. Basically, when they’re told a tough-luck story, they immediately empathize and feel an automatic urge to lend a helping hand. And they don’t think twice, because they love that feeling of giving and feeling needed. They also feel sharing expressions of emotion, sympathy and comfort are what makes for closeness and happiness.

SMALL TIME NURTURERS:
People who are low on nurturing are less likely to want to get into long conversations about other people's problems, or offer up that extra hand in assistance. Then again, on the other hand of that assisting hand, they don’t necessarily want assistance from others either. They might even find an overt showing of sympathy to be smothering, and equate someone giving assistance as a form of interference or demeaning behavior. They believe in self-sufficiency as a way of life, and so they therefore give unto others what they expect to get in return – which is a reserved amount.

DO OPPOSITE REPEL…. OR SIMILARS ATTRACT?

SIMILARS:
Two people big on nurturing will wind up creating a relationship in which each partner feels willing to depend upon the other. This dynamic exchange helps the couple feel very close, intimate, supported.

IN SUMMARY:
I believe these TWO SIMILARS attract! But I also give a BIG WARNING: Trouble can sometimes sneak up on these couples if they become too focused on taking care of the other’s needs ahead of their own.

SIMILARS:
Two people low in nurturing will feel happy that their boundaries are being respected and that they don’t feel overly smothered by too much expressiveness. And actually, these guarded boundaries can become an important part of helping these individuals maintain their identity – which will then make them feel very safe, respected, fulfilled and content. HOWEVER…. these relationships will also lack a certain warmth, with each partner at times not feeling needed by the other.

IN SUMMARY:
These TWO SIMILARS might attract – but that depends on the true level of self-sufficiency the people want deep down.

OPPOSITES:
A highly nurturing person dating a less nurturing person will often feel their partner is cold and not giving. The nurturer will complain about all the sacrifices they are making and the closeness they are lopsidedly offering. The non-nurturer will feel loved -- but smothered by what they view as intrusiveness. And the non-nurtuer will also resent being pushed to be more expressive, or made to feel as if they are an uncaring person.

IN SUMMARY:
These TWO OPPOSITES repel.